


Promise you forever

by tatoeba



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Parents, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Parenthood, Romance, just domestic chankai with a kid lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-16
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-11-17 00:04:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 43,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11263821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatoeba/pseuds/tatoeba
Summary: AU. Jongin and Chanyeol decide to have a baby.





	Promise you forever

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted 12/16/2013. i started this for nanowrimo and it's finally done! i just really REALLY wanted to write domestic!kaiyeol with a kid, so that’s what this is.
> 
> →please note that idk anything about how same-sex marriage works in korea so this is just what i went with from the info i could find  
> →misun means “beauty and goodness” according to the internets :3  
> →the title comes from the song [wherever you are by one ok rock](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOjpBKNlkzU) which i listened to a lot while writing this ♫  
> →LOTS OF LOVE AND THANK YOUS to my awesome tlist who listened to me cry over this fic for far too long ;~; especially ang, jay and lonio my kaiyeol buddies ilu ( ˘ ³˘)❤

A fluff of brown hair pops up over Chanyeol’s shoulder behind him as he stares into the mirror, slowly grinning around his toothbrush as warm hands slide around his bare waist. Jongin’s hands clasp just around his belly button and he presses this tiny kiss to the back of Chanyeol’s neck, still slightly damp from his shower.

“Are you sure you want to tell them already?” Jongin asks and he notches his chin on Chanyeol’s right shoulder. “We don’t really have anything figured out yet. You _know_ they’re going to ask like a hundred questions the second we bring it up.”

“That’s okay,” Chanyeol says around his mouthful of minty toothpaste. He leans forward to spit in the sink, Jongin practically following his movements like he’s a koala stuck to his body, and then leans back up. “I think that since we’ve decided, we should tell the parents right away. They’ll know more about what to do than us, anyway.”

Jongin laughs, his breath tickling Chanyeol’s skin enough that he squirms away until Jongin lets him go entirely. “Good point,” he says over the rush of the faucet as Chanyeol flips the tap and rinses out his mouth. He sticks his toothbrush into the little holder beside Jongin’s blue one and then turns to greet his boyfriend with a kiss on the mouth.

“It’ll be fine,” Chanyeol says, because the anxiousness in Jongin’s eyes is swimming in his own veins. He’s excited, sure, because this is a decision the two of them have considered for a very long time, but there’s so many things to think about, to plan, that the worry is heavier than the happiness. “Remember how my mom asked us about this two years ago on Christmas? She’s going to be thrilled.”

“I’ll never forget your face then,” Jongin snickers, leaving the bathroom to walk into their connecting bedroom. He heads straight for the closet and Chanyeol follows, stopping by the bed to pet Jjanggu who has snuggled into the covers. He always claims the bed the second it’s empty. Chanyeol’s sure Potato is off chewing on Jongin’s favorite boots while no one is looking. Chanyeol grins at the fluffy poodle, Jjanggu barking softly twice before finding Chanyeol boring and walking up the bed to lay across Jongin’s pillow instead. Chanyeol decides not to disturb him any longer and heads for the closet, leaning against the doorframe to watch as Jongin sifts through hangers of clothes.

“Hey, you looked pretty embarrassed, too,” Chanyeol replies, and he points to the red and blue striped sweater that Jongin is holding up. Jongin grins, sliding the ugly plaid shirt back onto the rack and slipping the sweater off its hanger. He yanks it over his head, tugs the hem down to meet the top of his dark, form fitting jeans. Chanyeol instantly reaches out to pull him in close, hooking fingers into the belt loops and laughing when Jongin trips over a pair of shoes on the floor. He kisses him again, slow and unhurried, just appreciating the fullness of Jongin’s lips and the heat from his body as he wraps his arms around him again.

“We’re gonna be late if you keep stopping to do this,” Jongin murmurs into his mouth. “Your mom said to be there at noon.”

“Relax,” Chanyeol says. “It’ll be fine. Just like telling them we’re ready to have a kid will be fine, too.”

Jongin’s brows furrow cutely and he squeezes his arms around Chanyeol’s waist, uncertain. “I’m not so sure about that one,” he says. “Aren’t you freaking out even a little?”

Chanyeol barks out a laugh, “Of course!” He pulls out of Jongin’s hold and looks through his own clothes to find something appropriate to wear that his mother won’t grumble at him about. “We want to have a _baby_. This is some serious shit, even I know that.” He smiles at Jongin. “But regardless of what our parents say, we’re going to go through with it, right? It’s something we decided.”

The uncertainty in Jongin’s face fades a little as he smiles, showing off pretty white teeth. The tension in his shoulders eases and he takes a deep breath, nods. “Right,” he says. “We want our own family.”

The words make Chanyeol’s heart oh so warm. A family. Their family. Him and Jongin and their new son or daughter. The idea, years ago, had seemed like a far-off dream, but now. Now it’s almost within reach. Now that they have decided that, yes, this is what they want to do, this is where they want to go, it seems like there’s no turning back. Chanyeol doesn’t want to turn back, anyway. He can’t think of anything more fulfilling in his life right now than to welcome a baby into his and Jongin’s home and raise it together.

“What sort of disgusting expression is that?” Jongin questions, an amused lilt to his voice as he gets into Chanyeol’s face and peers at him.

“It’s an I’m-so-happy-we’re-doing-this expression,” Chanyeol retorts and he reaches out a hand to pinch Jongin in the side, grinning when Jongin yelps and bats his hand away. Jongin pouts at him, smacks him once more for good measure, and then walks out of the closet, leaving Chanyeol alone to dress himself.

Chanyeol just puts on the first clean button-up he can find and pulls on a pair of faded jeans. He figures it will do, and once he and Jongin drop the bomb on his parents, the last thing his mom will do is bitch about his clothing choices. He snags a snapback from the top shelf and slips it onto his head backwards.

Jongin is pulling out the pie from the fridge that he’d bought last night to bring over to Chanyeol’s parent’s home and is slipping it into a nice paper bag to carry. Potato runs around excitedly at his feet, jumping up for attention, but Jongin doesn’t seem to notice. The creases in his forehead tell Chanyeol he’s still a little wary about this whole thing.

“If you’re gonna keep making that face, I’m gonna start thinking you’re getting second thoughts,” Chanyeol says softly and Jongin whips his head up to look at him, eyes wide.

“No! No,” he exclaims, waving hands in front of him. “I’m not. Really. I’m just.” He sighs deeply, runs a hand through his hair. “I just want to be able to tell my parents about this, too.”

In two quick strides, Chanyeol is pulling Jongin into his arms, his chest tightening painfully because he forgot, like he usually does after so long. “I’m sorry,” he says but Jongin shakes his head. “Do you want to still tell them? You should still tell them. Even if they don’t--”

“No,” Jongin says quietly. “It’s okay. They don’t need to know right now, when nothing is even figured out. Maybe after we have the baby, then. Then I’ll call them.”

Chanyeol likes this idea. He gently threads his fingers through Jongin’s hair and says, “Well, we can see if Jaehwa-noona or Sunjung-noona are available today, you know they’ll definitely want to hear the news.” He lets out a soft laugh and draws back to look at Jongin’s face. “Plus if we don’t stop by and see Yura, she’ll kill us both, so, we can visit all our sisters if that works out.”

Jongin’s small laugh has Chanyeol hugging him tight once more until Jongin groans and shoves him away. “Okay, okay,” he says, now looking a little embarrassed. “I’m fine, Chanyeol. I’m used to it. Not sharing important things with my parents.”

Chanyeol bites his tongue from saying that he shouldn’t have to be used to it because he knows now is not the time or place to get into that. It’s been many, many years since Jongin told his parents the truth, many years since Jongin told them about Chanyeol, and even though Jongin speaks to his mom once or twice every few months, it’s not the same as Chanyeol, who hears from his parents so often that he sometimes can’t stand it. He wants Jongin to be able to tell his parents about their plans, too, would love for them to be a part of the process, but right now it’s not an option and they both know it. There’s no point in dwelling on it.

“Should we go?” Chanyeol asks, and Jongin seems to snap out of his thoughts with a quick nod. Chanyeol picks up the bag off the counter and Jongin grabs their coats from the hall closet, and they suit up for the autumn chill in quiet. In the elevator, Jongin leans against Chanyeol, resting his head onto his shoulder and sighing deeply.

“Hey,” Jongin says softly as they move from the 8th floor to the 7th, “I’m so happy we’re doing this, too.”

Chanyeol has to close his eyes so he can’t see the big, dumb grin on his face in the elevator’s mirrored doors. “I know,” he says back, and slips his hand into Jongin’s.

-

Chanyeol’s mother greets Jongin like he’s her own son, which, even after eight years of being together, Chanyeol knows makes Jongin feel unbelievably happy. She fusses over him like she does with Chanyeol (albeit much more nicer, if you ask Chanyeol), tugging gently at his hair and reprimanding Jongin to get it cut and complaining that he’s definitely lost weight since the last time she saw him. She ushers him indoors, barely even sparing Chanyeol a glance, but Chanyeol is fine with that. He knows why she does it; it’s the same reason she calls Jongin on his birthday, gets him a present on Christmas even when Jongin insists it’s okay, and invites them over for Chuseok every year they’ve been together. Jongin knows it, too, that she tries to make up for Jongin’s parents who aren’t a part of his life, and Jongin is always glowing with big, bright smiles after talking to Chanyeol’s mom or spending time with her.

“It’s like you’re trying to replace me with Jongin,” Chanyeol teases as he joins them in the kitchen. He kisses his mother on the cheek when she playfully swats in his direction with a spatula.

“Well, I am the better choice,” Jongin says, and Chanyeol is glad to see the earlier distress has faded from his eyes.

“Yes, and he doesn’t look like a homeless person, either,” his mother adds, brows furrowing as she takes Chanyeol’s jaw in her hand and peers at his scruff. Chanyeol was too lazy to bother shaving that morning.

“Hey, I’m going for a manly look,” Chanyeol says and Jongin and his mother share a _look_ before they both burst out into laughter. He groans, shaking his head, and jumps a bit when a hand clasps his shoulder. He turns to find his father smiling bemusedly at him.

“It’s just best to leave them at it,” he says and nods toward the living room. Chanyeol follows him out of the kitchen, glancing over his shoulder to see his mother patting Jongin’s cheek and handing him a wooden spoon. Jongin catches his gaze and he smiles softly at him, eyes warm and happy, and Chanyeol returns it easily.

It’s not until they’ve made it halfway through lunch that Chanyeol gently nudges Jongin’s foot, raising his eyebrows expectantly at him across the table. Jongin licks his lips, but nods, and Chanyeol takes a deep breath.

“Jongin and I, we’ve been discussing something important for awhile,” Chanyeol starts, and he’s suddenly feeling nervous, with the way his parents have stopped eating entirely to stare at him. He glances at Jongin for encouragement, but Jongin smiles broadly at him and says, “We want to start our own family. We want--well, we want a baby.”

Breathing deeply now that it’s out in the open, Chanyeol slides his hand across the table to squeeze Jongin’s. “Yeah, that,” he says, when his parents look shocked into silence. Except that only lasts a few seconds and then his mother nearly topples her chair backwards in her haste to pull Jongin, who is sitting beside her, into a giant hug.

“That’s wonderful!” she exclaims, tears in her eyes already, and her enthusiasm is enough to break the tension. Jongin laughs incredulously as he hugs her back, and Chanyeol sags back in his chair, letting out a heavy sigh. He looks to his father, who seems much more contemplative about this than excited, but he understands that, too. There’s a lot of think about, and Chanyeol has been torn between wanting to flail from happiness and wanting to hide from all the uncertainties.

Before he can ask his dad what he thinks, he’s being pulled out his chair by his mother. She presses kisses to both of his cheeks, holding his face between her small hands, and she looks so thrilled that Chanyeol feels impossibly happy, too.

“Oh, this is great news,” she says, hugging him again. “Have you been thinking about this for awhile?”

“Almost a year,” Jongin answers. He’s settled back in his chair and is picking around at his food with his chopsticks.

“We just fully decided maybe a week or two ago,” Chanyeol adds, laughing as his mother smooshes his face in her hands and then lets go, returning to her seat. She dabs at the corner of her eyes with her napkin. “We think we’re ready.”

“If you’re going to do this,” Chanyeol’s father says, finally speaking up and looking between Chanyeol and Jongin seriously, “have you considered getting married, first? It’s not the easiest thing to do here, but…”

Chanyeol blinks. He looks at Jongin, who has paused in raising a piece of meat to his face, mouth hanging open. Chanyeol narrows his eyes, smacks a hand onto the table and points at Jongin’s face, “Yeah, Jongin. Where’s your proposal?”

Jongin splutters, setting his food back down to point back at Chanyeol dramatically, “What happened to yours? If I remember correctly, you said about three years ago you had this elaborate surprise proposal planned but that never happened, _did it_?”

“That was only because you said something stupid about how it’d be awesome to a cosplay wedding and I told you there was no way I’d dress up as Sephiroth just to fulfill your weird nerdy fantasies--”

Chanyeol’s parents both laugh then, cutting over the rest of Chanyeol’s words and Jongin’s inevitable retort. Jongin looks embarrassed now, dropping his hands to his lap and his gaze onto his place and Chanyeol just grins, slowly, leaning over the table to poke his outstretched finger into Jongin’s forehead. He retreats before Jongin can retaliate, and when he looks at his parents, they are grinning in amusement.

“I think you might be ready, too,” his father says, which is more than Chanyeol ever expected to hear. He knew his father, while supportive, would be a little more wary about the whole thing. “But you know, there’s a lot you need to figure out. It won’t be as easy, for the two of you.”

“We know,” Chanyeol says, smiling as he feels Jongin slide a socked foot around his ankle beneath the table. “We’re prepared for that.”

“It’ll be worth it,” Jongin adds. “We want to do this. We think it’s a good time.” He turns to Chanyeol. “Though you’re right, getting married might be something we need to do, first.”

Chanyeol nods enthusiastically. They’ve been together for nearly ten years that it already feels like they _are_ married, which is probably why they never even considered that as the first step in order to go through with the whole baby thing. But now that it’s been brought up, Chanyeol doesn’t know how they could’ve missed it. He looks at Jongin and he thinks of being able to call him his husband, thinks of being able to truly and legally be bound to him and he thinks, well, that sounds pretty fucking amazing. Chanyeol is already thinking about calling Zitao; he knows the best jewelry places in Seoul and can point Chanyeol toward a shop that would have rings suited for him and Jongin.

“Well, this calls for celebrating, I think,” Chanyeol’s mother says, clapping her hands together. “We can pull out that bottle of champagne. Honey, why don’t you get that pie Jongin brought for us from the fridge?” She pats at her husband before rushing off into the kitchen. Chanyeol’s dad sighs exaggeratedly, but then grins at the two of them before he follows.

The second they’re gone, Jongin slides out of his chair and slips onto Chanyeol’s lap, hooking his arms around his neck and kissing him once, twice, three times in quick succession, his lips stretching wider with each press of their mouths.

“I love your parents,” Jongin says as Chanyeol settles his hands on Jongin’s waist, rubs tiny circles into the skin where his sweater rides up with his thumb.

“They love you, too,” Chanyeol says seriously. “I think we just made my mom’s year with the news.”

Jongin laughs. “So about this marriage thing,” he says slowly, playing with the buttons on Chanyeol’s shirt. “Do you really want to?”

“Of course,” Chanyeol says firmly. “We should’ve done it years ago.”

“Better late than never, right?” Jongin says. “We’re gonna have to call Junmyeon-hyung when we get home. He’s been nagging us about that for so long, he’ll be pissed if we don’t tell him right away.”

“Yeah, yeah, later,” Chanyeol says, nosing along Jongin’s jaw and pressing fleeting kisses along under his chin. “When we get home, we’re celebrating first. By ourselves.”

Jongin snorts. “That would be your first concern,” he says, but his breath hitches when Chanyeol lightly nips at his earlobe. “Stop! Your parents,” he hisses, punching Chanyeol weakly in the chest.

Chanyeol just kisses him instead, until Jongin relaxes in his grip and Chanyeol’s father exclaims, “Not where we eat, boys!”

Jongin practically bolts out of Chanyeol’s arms, while Chanyeol laughs loudly and his face undoubtedly goes a little lopsided like it does whenever he’s highly amused. Jongin is trying to bury his face into Chanyeol’s shoulder, and Chanyeol slides an arm around his waist reassuringly. His father just looks amused, and Chanyeol feels like his heart is going to burst.

“I love you,” he whispers to Jongin, who is flushed pink in the face and looking anywhere but at Chanyeol’s parents, but he still manages to whisper the words back and follows them with a kiss.

-

The spare bedroom in their apartment has collected piles and piles of things that neither Jongin or Chanyeol have been able to throw out. Old clothes, a busted television, DVD cases that are missing the disc, and stacks of books, everything from Chanyeol’s favorite novels and music books to Jongin’s volumes upon volumes of manga. An old desk that Chanyeol used to use for work is pushed into the corner, one of the legs broken and they never got around to getting rid of it. His three guitars rest against a wall on stands, next to Jongin’s soccer ball and cleats.

“This is going to take us a year to clean out,” Jongin says, sitting on the floor among a pile of clothes and large black trash bags. He wrinkles his nose at an ugly Christmas sweater that Sehun had gotten for him a few years ago and stuffs it into a bag.

“We’ll get through it,” Chanyeol says. “Besides, if we’re going ahead with the surrogate thing, it’s gonna take almost ten months for the baby to be born anyway.”

“I know,” Jongin says. “I just want to _do_ something. We’re lucky, that we don’t have to actually carry around a baby for practically a year. We just have to make the space for it. I want the baby’s room to be _perfect_.”

Chanyeol pats Jongin’s thigh. “It will be,” he says confidently. They’ve already discussed painting the walls a soft yellow, putting up cute pictures and buying a nice crib. They want to fill the room with plush animals and toys. It will be the best room ever. Once they manage to clean it out, that is.

“Do you want to keep these?” Jongin asks Chanyeol, holding up a couple of old t-shirts. Chanyeol shakes his head and Jongin shoves them into the bag. “I think we’re gonna be getting rid of most of this.”

“Probably a good thing,” Chanyeol says. He tosses a pair of jeans that are a size too small for him into the bag as well. “The more space the better.”

Jongin makes a whining noise in the back of his throat as he pushes a pair of sneakers and a few more shirts into bags. His shoulders slump a bit as he glances around the room and heaves a big sigh just as there’s a loud knock from down the hall. Chanyeol gets to his feet and ruffles Jongin’s hair as he mutters, “This is going to take _forever_ ,” and leaves the room to check on who’s at the door.

“I brought dinner,” Kyungsoo says, holding up a plastic bag and a smile when Chanyeol opens the door for him.

“You’re the best,” Chanyeol says earnestly, taking the bag from him and holding the door back so Kyungsoo can slip inside. “You didn’t have to do that, though.”

Kyungsoo shrugs, pulling off his coat and hanging it up in the closet. “I heard from Jongin about all the cleaning you’re doing. I was gonna stop by anyway to pick up that DVD Jongin wanted me to watch.”

“I could’ve just brought that over for you at work on Monday,” Chanyeol replies, leading the way into the kitchen to grab some plates and silverware.

“Maybe I just wanted to come over and see my friends, then,” Kyungsoo says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Lies,” Chanyeol exclaims, pointing a fork into Kyungsoo’s face. “You act like you don’t even know me sometimes when we’re on campus.”

Kyungsoo smirks. “Because you usually look like one of the students and I don’t want people to get confused.”

“Hey! If anyone looks like a kid here, it’s _you_ ,” Chanyeol retorts. “What with you being so small and--”

His words are cut off by Jongin, who stumbles into the kitchen, his eyes lighting up when he sees Kyungsoo and then the bag of takeout on the counter. “You brought food?” he asks Kyungsoo, walking over to flop onto Kyungsoo’s back, notching his chin atop of his head. “You’re the best, hyung.”

“I know,” Kyungsoo laughs, patting Jongin on the arm. “Now get off me, before your fiance throws that fork at me.”

Jongin doesn’t move, just mumbles, “He’s not my fiance because he hasn’t proposed,” and then he sticks his tongue out at Chanyeol.

“Why do I have to do all the work?” Chanyeol questions as he pulls out the small boxes of food from the bag. His stomach grumbles at the delicious smells, and he didn’t realize just how hungry he was. He and Jongin have been so focused on the cleaning that food has barely been on their mind that day.

“Why not?” Jongin counters childishly and he laughs loudly when Kyungsoo reaches behind him to tickle his side. He finally lets go, slipping away to grab a plate and start piling rice and pieces of chicken onto it.

Kyungsoo nudges Jongin in the elbow as he joins them up at the counter and takes the plate Chanyeol holds out for him. “Do you even care if he proposes? You guys could just go look at rings together,” he says and he makes a good point, if it wasn’t for the fact that Chanyeol has already looked and has found what he thinks is the perfect pair. There’s still one other shop on the list Zitao had given him and Chanyeol wants to check their collection before he decides on buying anything, but he thinks the ones he’s found are just right for him and Jongin. Nothing too flashy, nothing too expensive. Just right.

He hasn’t mentioned that to anyone else though, so he just laughs and says, “Jongin is secretly a romantic and he probably wants to feel special so I guess I have to do it.”

Jongin reaches across the counter to punch him in the shoulder while Kyungsoo tilts his head and says, “Wait, Jongin being a romantic was a secret?”

Chanyeol laughs even harder at the wounded expression Jongin turns onto Kyungsoo, who just gives him a smug look and pops a piece of chicken into his mouth.

“Nevermind,” he says around his chopsticks, pulling his plate of food to his chest like it’s shielding him. “I don’t want to marry you.”

Chanyeol just smiles, appeasing him by dropping a few extra pieces of chicken onto his plate. It works like a charm, as usual, and he’s rewarded with Jongin’s beautiful smile within seconds.

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at them. “You guys are practically married already,” he says and it makes Jongin flush, casting his gaze down to his food and stuffing his mouth with rice so he doesn’t have to say anything.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol agrees, smiling at Jongin, the way his hair falls into his face and how he sucks at the end of his chopsticks in between bites, “but it will be nice to make it official.”

Jongin’s lips tug up at the corner around his utensils at his words, even as Kyungsoo chuckles, shaking his head like they’re completely hopeless. They probably are, but Chanyeol thinks he’s okay with that.

“It will,” Kyungsoo says with a grin, and when Jongin looks up to meet Chanyeol’s eyes, Chanyeol thinks that that day can’t come soon enough.

-

It’s a lot easier to get in touch with a surrogate than Chanyeol was expecting, but he really has his mother to thank for that. Apparently she talked to a friend of a friend of a friend and got the information of a young woman not much older than Chanyeol and Jongin themselves named Lee Soojin. She’s done quite a few surrogacies already and within the next month, Chanyeol and Jongin meet up with her twice. She’s pretty and kind with a nice smile and small frame, much smaller than Chanyeol who is used to towering over people. She listens happily to their reasons of wanting to be parents, their hope of starting their own family, and she tells them she’d be happy to carry their baby for them.

They figure out all the little details on their second visit, payment options and whether they’re going to use donor sperm or their own.

“Our own, of course!” Chanyeol said quickly, pulling a startled laugh from Soojin. Jongin clenched his hand around Chanyeol’s and said it should be Chanyeol, because Chanyeol was the one to first bring this whole thing up, first to be brave enough to try.

He smiled at him then and added, “Next time...if we decide, it can be me,” and it was difficult for Chanyeol not to just kiss him right then and there.

And after that, everything falls into place. All they have to really do now is wait.

“You’re just kids, how are you going to _raise_ a kid?” Yura asks when Chanyeol meets up with her for lunch on a Saturday. Jongin had to go in for work, the new girl group he’s doing the choreography for is set to debut in a couple of months and he’s been busy even on the weekends.

“I’m not a kid, noona,” Chanyeol laughs. “I’m 31, okay?”

Yura sighs and takes a sip of her coffee. “You’re still a kid to me,” she says. “Jongin, too! I mean, you guys still mostly wake up at three in the afternoon on the weekends and spend your whole day playing video games.”

Chanyeol sheepishly rubs the back of his neck at that comment because it’s, well, mostly true. “We know it’s not going to be easy. It’s not like we woke up one day and just decided out of nowhere to have a baby, you know.”

“What _did_ make you decide then?” she asks curiously, glancing up at him as she pierces a small baby tomato with her fork and pops it into her mouth.

So many things, Chanyeol thinks. Watching the way Jongin plays with their puppies and wondering what it’d be like to see him play with their own child. Seeing mothers with their kids whenever he goes out, unable to hide the smiles on his faces as the kids whine about wanting their favorite cookies and even crying at their parents’ stern glares. He’d caught the tail end of an American movie on TV once, one he hasn’t heard of before, but he stopped to watch anyway, as the father tucked his kids into bed and kissed them on the forehead before saying “goodnight.” There’s the way Junmyeon is with Daeho, constantly worrying over his four-year-old son and trying to spend as much time with him as possible. Daeho, who looks just like Junmyeon and makes fun of his dad’s ugly sweaters and clings to Chanyeol whenever they come over for dinner.

Chanyeol just smiles, offers Yura a small shrug. “I don’t know,” he tells her in the end. “I like kids, I always have.”

“You are good with them,” Yura admits. “I’m pretty sure my boys like you more than me.”

“Only because I’m the cool uncle who spoils them,” Chanyeol laughs and Yura grins. “I’m sure it’ll be just like that for you, once our baby comes.”

Yura’s grin gets wider. “Oh, I hope you have a girl,” she says excitedly. “I will have so much fun buying her cute things.”

Chanyeol hasn’t even thought that far ahead, whether he wants a boy or girl. He’s not really sure, now that he thinks about it. He doesn’t really mind, either way. For him and Jongin, having a baby isn’t the easiest thing in the world, and he’ll be happy no matter what to just have a beautiful, healthy baby that is _his_. He does wonder what Jongin wants though, and makes a mental note to ask him about it later.

“I’m really excited, noona,” he says, leaning back in his chair and smiling. Yura looks at him a little fondly, eyes soft. “This is all so overwhelming, but I can’t believe we’re doing it.”

“I can’t believe it either,” she says, but then reaches over to pat his hand. “You’ll make a great dad. You might still be a kid, but I know you can do it.”

Chanyeol’s heart feels warm. “Thanks,” he says, and he hopes Yura doesn’t catch the way he sounds a little choked up. How embarrassing, he thinks. He’s not going to get emotional over this so soon. It’s barely been a month since the surrogacy has officially started. There’s still a whole nine months left to go.

As if Yura can tell what he’s thinking, she lightly presses the heel of her stiletto into his foot. He yelps and glowers at her, but she just laughs. “I’m happy for you both,” she says, and Chanyeol nods, grinning, and gets her back by stealing a handful of her fries.

-

The weather becomes colder as the tendrils of winter slowly start to make their way into the air, the warmth of the sun a rarity as the sky stays grey day after day. On one of these rare afternoons, Chanyeol wraps a thick scarf around Jongin’s neck as he’s prone to get sick much more easily and helps Jongin wrestle a tiny blue sweater onto Jjanggu. Potato is already happily wearing the red outfit, barking around at their feet in excitement. They each take a puppy and head outside, hissing at the chill despite the sunshine.

“Too cold,” Jongin says, muffled cutely behind his scarf. Jjanggu is walking leisurely ahead of him, while Potato, forever the more excited of the two, is trying to run away, making it difficult for Chanyeol to stand beside Jongin and enjoy his warmth.

“Let’s just make it around the block and head back,” Chanyeol says. “If Potato will even allow us to go home that soon, that is.”

Jongin laughs, looking fondly over at their retreiver. When they got their dogs, they’d been just small puppies and that was two years ago. Potato is now fully-grown and just as energetic as he was when they first got him. “I wonder if our kid is going to be as much of a handful as he is,” Jongin says.

“You can’t compare a kid to a pet,” Chanyeol chuckles, nudging Jongin’s side with an elbow.

“I know that,” Jongin says with a tiny pout. “I’m just hoping he doesn’t end up entirely with _your_ energy. I don’t know if I can handle that.”

“Well,” Chanyeol says, leaning in as close as he can without drawing too much attention, “you handle me just fine.” He smirks when the flush on Jongin’s face from the cold turns a little deeper out of embarrassment. He barks out a laugh when Jongin swats him weekly in the chest, his loud noise making Potato bark, too. Chanyeol tugs slightly on his leash to quiet him down, and suddenly a part of what Jongin just said lights up in his head. “Wait,” he says, “you said _he_. Do you...Do you want a boy?”

Jongin bites on his lower lip as he thinks and he’s silent for a few long seconds. “I’ll be happy with whatever we end up with,” he says finally as they cross the street and make their way to the park two blocks from their apartment. “But yeah, I think I would like a boy more.” He flashes Chanyeol a smile. “I’ll teach him soccer and take him to games! We’ll have matching jerseys and everything.”

Chanyeol laughs. “You’ll have to keep him away from Lu Han or else he’ll end up a Man U fan.”

Jongin wrinkles his nose. “Yeah, that’s definitely not allowed to happen,” he says, but then he laughs, too. “What about you? Boy or girl?”

“I don’t think I have a preference really,” Chanyeol replies. He’d been thinking about it ever since his lunch with Yura a week ago, but the more he does the more he knows he’ll be happy with either a boy or a girl.

“Aww, come on,” Jongin says, playfully swatting him in the arm. “You must have had a moment sometime, when you saw yourself with your future kid.”

Chanyeol considers that as they reach an empty bench along the main path through the park. Jongin instantly sits down and pulls Jjanggu up onto his lap. Jjanggu looks quite glad to have stopped walking, nuzzling his face into Jongin’s legs and relaxing as Jongin smiles down at him, pets him behind his fluffy ears. Chanyeol sits down next to them, stretching his legs out across the pavement as Potato jumps around, clearly displeased at everyone’s need for a break.

“I guess,” Chanyeol says after a moment, remembering that Jongin is still waiting for his answer, “I would like a girl.”

Jongin scoffs. “Are you just saying that because I said I wanted a boy?”

“Maybe a little,” Chanyeol laughs, making a tiny space between his pointer finger and thumb. Jongin pushes his hand away, but there’s amusement in his eyes. Chanyeol shrugs as he reaches into Jongin’s coat pocket to pull out the pack of dog treats. “Sit,” he says to Potato sternly and Potato instantly complies. “Good boy.” Chanyeol offers him a treat and Potato swipes it up happily, and he turns back to Jongin to catch him watching him with an affectionate look on his face that, even after all these years, never fails to make his heart race. He wants to lean over and kiss him.

“You’d spoil a daughter so much,” Jongin says, shaking his head and looking away. Chanyeol wonders if that’s what he’d been thinking about the whole time Chanyeol was focusing his attention on Potato.

“I think we both would,” Chanyeol says. “Oh god, we’re both going to be super softies, aren’t we? Who’s gonna be the strict, mean parent?”

Jongin pokes him in the chest. “I volunteer you.”

“Thanks, Jongin,” Chanyeol says dryly, reaching over to push Jongin’s head away, earning a bright laugh from him. As Jongin settles back, Chanyeol slides a hand discreetly down his arm, squeezes gently around his wrist. “We’re going to be parents,” he breathes out softly, like he’s just realized the magnitude of what’s happening.

“I know,” Jongin says and he can’t mask the excitement in his voice. It makes Chanyeol feel warm all over despite the early winter air. “You’re going to be such a good dad,” he adds, twisting his hand out of Chanyeol’s grip to instead wrap his fingers around Chanyeol’s wrist instead, and his touch is wonderfully warm.

Chanyeol thinks that Jongin will be better. Jongin, with his kind heart and soft smiles and love of children. Jongin, with his open-mindedness and dumb laughter and his affectionate touches. Jongin will be the one who will cry when the baby is born and probably cry over every major milestone, because things like that make him so happy he can’t contain it. He’ll be the one their kid goes to when he’s sad because Jongin will tell him it’s okay to be upset. Jongin will probably read their kid stupid bedtime stories that he adapts from his favorite anime, and teach them how to dance even if they don’t want to learn. Jongin will support their child in anything and everything they want, no matter what.

And that all holds true for Chanyeol, too, but he can really see it, as he looks at Jongin and thinks about the future. It’s so close now, closer than Chanyeol ever dreamed of. Being parents, raising their own kid, having their own little family. Jongin really will be a great dad, he knows this already. He’s about to tell him so, too, when Potato manages to dart off after something he’s seen, leash slipping straight out of Chanyeol’s hand.

“Not again,” Chanyeol groans, jumping to his feet to chase after him, and the sound of Jongin’s high-pitched laughter follows him.

-

“Have you thought of how you’re gonna do it yet?” Zitao asks Chanyeol as he leans against the glass jewelry case and types up a message on his phone.

“Not really,” Chanyeol replies, watching anxiously as the young female employee places the rings into tiny black boxes. “I’ve been too worried over just getting the rings in the first place to think much about that.”

Zitao gives him a tiny smile, his eyes curving cutely. He has large sunglasses pushed up into his bright red hair and he’s dressed impeccably as always, like he just walked straight off the runway. This time, though, it’s almost true; Zitao only managed to meet him in between photoshoots after Chanyeol not-begged him for a second opinion. Zitao’s got a much better eye for jewelry and Chanyeol knew he’d be willing to give an honest answer.

“Jongin will love it,” Zitao says confidently, turning back to his phone. “They’re really nice.”

Chanyeol heaves a deep sigh. He feels simultaneously relieved of the stress of buying rings but burdened by the fact that he now _has_ the rings but no idea of how to propose. “Should I just, like...leave the ring out on the dresser for him to find?”

“That’s the most upsetting thing I’ve ever heard,” Zitao says with the shake of his head. “I know you can do better than that.”

Chanyeol stares forlornly at the black boxes the girl is slipping into a white paper bag with the store’s logo printed on the front. “I’m not so sure,” he says.

Zitao nudges him. “Don’t make such a big deal about it,” he says. “You already know he’s going to say yes.”

He makes a good point. This isn’t like if Chanyeol had proposed years ago, back when he’d first thought that he could spend the rest of his life with Jongin, waking up to his sleepy smiles and messy brown hair everyday, snuggling up with him as they watch television, and making a mess of the kitchen because they’re both a little hopeless when it comes to cooking. Back then, Jongin could have, perhaps, said no. But now, it’s different. They’re in the midst of starting a family together and he knows Jongin will accept any proposal he gives him.

But that doesn’t mean Chanyeol wants to half-ass it, either.

The employee sets the bag onto the counter and rings up the total. Chanyeol fishes out his wallet, hands her his card as Zitao starts peering through the glass at some earrings. “Do you have any ideas?” Chanyeol asks. Zitao’s one of the most romantic people he knows, maybe second to Yifan, but Yifan’s sappy ideas probably won’t work on Jongin the way they did on Yixing, who seems to find that sort of thing strangely endearing.

“I’m not gonna give you ideas on how to propose,” Zitao says, giving Chanyeol a sort of exasperated look. “I’ve helped you out with the rings already. I think you can manage coming up with how to propose on your own.” He pats Chanyeol’s arm, but Chanyeol still doesn’t feel particularly comforted. “You know Jongin better than anyone, hyung. You probably already have the perfect idea and you don’t even realize it.”

Chanyeol’s only idea is planning a really simple dinner at home. He can make Jongin’s favorite dish and maybe get a specialty cake from Yixing’s restaurant (he knows Yixing would more than gladly make them something special if Chanyeol asked) and they could just relax and Chanyeol could pull out the ring when Jongin is least expecting it and ask him if he wants to marry him. Jongin has been pulling some long nights because of work, so he thinks a nice, relaxing night together would really be perfect. Chanyeol knows Jongin wouldn’t want something too over the top, even if Chanyeol would be all for writing their names across the sky. Jongin would probably gut him if he did something like that though.

“See?” Zitao says, pulling Chanyeol out of his thoughts. He’s got this smug little smile on his kittenish lips and is pointing a finger in Chanyeol’s face. “You already have a plan.”

“Shut up,” Chanyeol grumbles, embarrassed, pushing Zitao’s finger out of his face. Zitao tilts his head back and laughs and Chanyeol ignores him, turning his attention back to the employee who has finished up the transaction and hands over Chanyeol’s bag with a smile. “Thanks for helping with this,” Chanyeol tells Zitao as they leave the shop. The bright afternoon sun is a little blinding and Chanyeol is tempted to steal Zitao’s sunglasses as he slides them back onto his face.

“You can buy me dinner sometime as repayment,” Zitao offers cheekily and Chanyeol punches him half-heartedly in the arm, but mentally makes a note to do so anyway. “I hope everything goes well, hyung.”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol says, peeking into his bag at the tiny boxes. “I hope so, too.”

-

Chanyeol is halfway through grading a stack of calculus exams when the unmistakable sound of the door being unlocked catches his ears. It’s gets the attention of Potato, too, who is lounging on the couch beside him, quickly jumping down to run off to greet Jongin who has undoubtedly just come home. There’s soft laughter from down the hall and Chanyeol smiles, turning back to his papers and marking another question incorrect with a purse of his lips. He wonders if his tests are too hard.

The couch dips suddenly as Jongin practically face-plants onto the cushions, his small duffel bag sliding down his arm and to the floor. He didn’t even bother taking his coat off, and the furry hood of it bunches up over his head. Chanyeol chuckles, switches the pens in his right hand to his left and reaches out to pet Jongin’s hair.

“Rough day?” he asks.

Jongin groans into the cushions but tilts his head toward Chanyeol’s hand, like he’s one of their pets looking for more attention. Sometimes, though, Chanyeol can’t really tell the difference. He grins, setting his papers onto the coffee table next to where his feet are propped up, and gently tugs at Jongin until he scoots over, rests his head on Chanyeol’s lap. He lets out a heavy sigh, slipping his arm out of the strap of his bag and turning onto his back so he can look up at Chanyeol. The tired circles under his eyes make Chanyeol frown as he rubs them gently with his thumb, and he’s got a week old shadow across his upper lip and chin.

“If only my mom could see you now,” he teases. “She’d call you homeless, too.”

“She loves me, she’d tell me it looks good.”

Chanyeol narrows his eyes because that’s actually probably true. And, well, Jongin does look good, even if his slight scruff is from being too tired to shave instead of actually wanting to pull off a more rugged look. “You’re back a little earlier today than you have been lately,” he says, continuing to stroke his fingers through his hair.

Jongin makes a soft humming noise as his eyes close. “The girls looked like they were going to collapse, too, honestly, and they got the routine I showed them down perfectly so Junmyeon-hyung said we could end early today.”

“That’s nice of him,” Chanyeol says, and it really is. He’s glad to have Jongin home.

“I think he just wanted some sleep, too,” Jongin laughs.

“Like he gets much of that with Daeho around,” Chanyeol replies.

“Ah, that reminds me,” Jongin says and he opens his eyes too look at Chanyeol. “Hyung asked if we could watch him this weekend in the evening. Eunji has some important business dinner to attend and Junmyeon wants to go with her.” He laughs. “Or, more like Eunji will castrate him if he doesn’t.”

Chanyeol snorts. “Yeah, I think we could do that. Tell him it’s okay.”

Jongin’s already a step ahead of him, pulling his phone out of his back pocket and tapping away at the screen. “It can be like practice,” he says with a grin.

“Except Daeho’s four, he practically looks after himself.”

“That’s what you think,” Jongin says, sliding his phone onto the coffee table and then closing his eyes again. “Junmyeon-hyung was complaining the other day about how he’d taken his eyes off him for a minute to answer a phone call and Daeho had drawn on the walls in marker.”

Chanyeol winces a little. “Okay, good to know,” he says. “We’ll watch him like a hawk.”

Jongin blinks his eyes open, a slow smile stretching across his lips and he sits up to quickly kiss Chanyeol on the mouth. Then he swings his legs over the side of the couch and stands, stretching arms over his head and Chanyeol catches a tiny glimpse of tan skin under his shirt where it rides up his stomach. “Have you had dinner yet?” Jongin asks, dropping his hands down and twisting his waist from side to side. A quick flash of pain crosses his features and instantly Chanyeol is on his feet, rubbing soft circles at his hips and kissing his forehead.

“Go take a shower,” he says and he pushes his glasses up his nose as they start to slip. “I’ll make us something.”

Jongin hugs him around the middle. “Such a good not-fiance,” he teases, shooting Chanyeol a mock glare, and Chanyeol considers, then, the box he’s hidden in the back of the closet in the baby’s room next to a stack of his old books. He could go and get it right now, tell Jongin that he can be his _actual_ fiance, if he lets him, but then Jongin is drawing him down to kiss him softly. “Thanks,” he says, and the moment has passed.

Chanyeol chuckles, pats Jongin’s ass twice and shoos him off toward the shower and he pushes the thought of a proposal away for another day. Instead, he heads to the kitchen to find something quick to whip up for the two of them. He’s halfway through putting together chicken fried rice when he hears Jongin laughing down the hall, calling their puppies back into the bedroom. Potato’s loud bark seems to bounce off the walls and Chanyeol shakes his head in amusement. He gives his pan a little shake, stirring the rice around with a wooden spoon, and then grabs two plates from the cupboard to his right.

“Stay,” he hears Jongin say sternly, followed by a cheerful, “Good boys,” and the unmistakable sound of a door being shut. Chanyeol’s brows furrow in wonder, because they don’t usually shut the dogs into a room unless--

“Hey,” Jongin whispers, sliding up behind him and wrapping arms around his waist. His warm, damp skin presses up against Chanyeol’s back and he trails his lips up the column of Chanyeol’s neck. Chanyeol swallows, quickly reaches out to flip the stove off, and the next second Jongin is spinning him around, manhandling him away from the stove just enough to push him against the counter.

Chanyeol chuckles into Jongin’s mouth that comes up to meet his, slowly kissing him in a way that makes Chanyeol’s heart melt a little. He draws Jongin closer with hands at his hips, and Jongin presses a knee between Chanyeol’s legs, pushing up against him. His own hands find Chanyeol’s hair and he lets out this tiny sort of sigh into Chanyeol’s lips as Chanyeol rocks into him.

It’s been awhile since they’ve really had a chance to just be together. Between all the worry and stress of the upcoming baby and Jongin’s longer work hours, Chanyeol doesn’t even remember the last time he’s been able to touch Jongin like this. They’re both normally very touchy people and Jongin hangs off him whenever they are together, but this is different, right now, and it feels almost like the first time, rushed and desperate and oh so good.

Jongin’s tongue slips into his mouth, hot and slick and steals his breath, and as he ruts up against Chanyeol’s thigh he can feel him hard through the thin sweats he put on after his shower. Chanyeol slides his hands up Jongin’s bare back, and he feels Jongin shudder under his touch, fingers tightening into his hair as their kiss deepens. The ledge of the counter digs into Chanyeol’s lower back, but as Jongin gently nips at his lower lip and gasp, it’s really the least of his concern.

“Chanyeol,” Jongin whines softly, grinding against him and drawing a low moan from Chanyeol’s throat. He feels the corners of Jongin’s lips twitch upward in a smirk, and he does it again, and again, until Chanyeol feels the slick coils of arousal in his groin.

He pushes a hand down between them, presses his palm up against Jongin’s erection and Jongin sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth. Chanyeol draws back to look into his face, taking in the flush that’s spread up his neck, the haziness of his eyes, and he only feels his body getting warmer at the sight.

And when Jongin suddenly drops to his knees, Chanyeol licks his lips, feels his heart rate accelerate a little in anticipation. He slips his hands into Jongin’s slightly wet hair, pushing it back from where it clings to his forehead. Jongin smiles up at him and easily undoes the buckle on Chanyeol’s pants, pushing up the hem of his sweater to mouth at the flat of his stomach as he eases his jeans down his hips.

“Too slow,” Chanyeol murmurs and Jongin’s hot breath feels so nice against his skin as he laughs.

“Aren’t you eager?” Jongin teases, flicking his eyes up at him. He wraps a hand around Chanyeol’s cock now and smirks at the way his hips buck up for more almost instantaneously.

“Hey, you’re the one who jumped _me_ ,” Chanyeol retorts but through the breathlessness of his voice it doesn’t hold as much of a punch.

Jongin just looks amused anyway, as he slowly strokes up the length of Chanyeol’s cock and rubs his thumb over the slit. When Chanyeol makes a tiny frustrated noise, does Jongin finally lean forward to take him into his mouth. He sucks softly around the head and draws back to drag his tongue down the underside and it’s like he’s purposefully taking his time to drive Chanyeol even more crazy. Fingers wrap around the base of his cock and Jongin flicks the tip of his tongue across the head before he takes him back into his mouth.

“Oh god,” Chanyeol sighs, hand tightening in Jongin’s hair as he relaxes his throat around him and swallows him down until his mouth reaches his fingers. Jongin glances up to meet his gaze and Chanyeol’s breath catches in his throat at the look, eyes intense as they stare at him and he can’t find it in him to look away. Jongin has always been good at this, something Chanyeol tries not to think too much about because he doesn't want to know exactly where he got all the practice, but he definitely enjoys the result of it when Jongin presses his tongue just under the head or traces that vein along the length of his dick. He pulls away to take a breath, leaning gently against Chanyeol's thigh for a moment as Chanyeol slides a hand from his hair down his face, rubs his thumb over his slick and swollen lips. Jongin sighs, stroking his hand up and down Chanyeol's dick in steady rhythm that has Chanyeol's veins thrumming in pleasure as he gets incredibly close.

He covers Jongin's hand with his own and urges, "Come on," pushing his hips out as he draws Jongin in again with his other hand now pressed tight against the back of Jongin's neck. Jongin obliges without a word, opening his mouth wide as he swallows him down as much as he can, until the head of Chanyeol's dick bumps the back of his throat. It pulls a deep, deep groan from Chanyeol, his eyes falling shut at the amazing sensation of Jongin's mouth hot and wet and perfect around him and he tilts his head back instinctively, just barely bumping against the cupboard above him. He lets out a hiss but he pays the dull throb no mind, not when Jongin's throat constricts around him and he backs off to tongue at the head, licking up the precome that's gathered there. His jaw is tight and there's saliva slipping down the corner of his lips onto his chin, and as Chanyeol stares at him, looking utterly debauched, Chanyeol knows he can't take much more.

And after so long together, Jongin can tell, too, can tell just how close he is, just what to do to push him over the edge. He licks his lips slowly, _obscenely_ , his gaze never wavering from Chanyeol's -- Chanyeol doesn't know how he manages that so well -- and then he's dipping down to lick straight up from Chanyeol's balls to the tip of his dick and _fuck_. Chanyeol tightens his hand into Jongin's hair, tugs him back to take him into his mouth once more and he thrusts into the wondrous heat when Jongin obediently wraps his lips around him again. Hands find Chanyeol's hips to keep him steady and it's not necessary, really, because as Jongin sucks around him, Chanyeol comes, with his name pulled out of him in a strangled sort of moan.

Jongin drinks him down and pulls back with a slight shudder, his lips a dark, beautiful red and his chest heaving from his efforts. Chanyeol feels wonderfully sated, like he could melt down to the kitchen floor and nap comfortably against the tiles. The thought is tempting, but he’s not that mean, pulling weakly at Jongin’s hair where his hand is now loosely threaded through, and Jongin stands slowly, wincing a bit from spending so long on his knees.

A sharp gasp falls from Jongin’s lips when Chanyeol catches his mouth in his, tasting a little of himself as he licks his way inside. Jongin’s hands clench at his arms and he grinds desperately against his hip and Chanyeol knows he’s not in the mood for any teasing. He tugs Jongin’s sweatpants down, grateful that he didn’t even bother with underwear because it’s that much easier to get a hand around him, hard and leaking into Chanyeol’s palm.

“Please,” Jongin whimpers into his mouth and Chanyeol jerks him off fast, rubbing the pad of his thumb across the slit the way he knows Jongin likes it and mouthing down the length of his neck. The noises Jongin makes are like music to his ears and no matter how long they’ve been together Chanyeol will never grow sick of hearing those sounds. Nails dig into Chanyeol’s skin and he knows Jongin is close now, worrying his lower lip between his teeth and rutting up into Chanyeol’s fist. When he comes it’s with a low groan, hips stuttering against Chanyeol’s as he spills over his fingers and his body shakes under Chanyeol’s hands. Chanyeol lets out a breathy chuckle, kisses Jongin’s temple as he sags into his chest, and his gaze falls onto the pan on the stove, their partially cooked dinner now pretty much ruined.

“Maybe we should order some delivery,” Chanyeol muses aloud and Jongin snorts into the crook of his shoulder.

“I think we should kick the dogs out of the bedroom,” Jongin returns, his fingers sliding up Chanyeol’s arms until they loop around the back of his neck. He presses a kiss to Chanyeol’s lips and Chanyeol swallows.

“Yeah,” he says, voice coming out a little choked. “Yeah, that’s a better idea.” Jongin smirks, and heads down the hall without a word and Chanyeol rushes after him, figuring there’s always time to worry about dinner later.

-

Soojin greets Chanyeol with a welcoming hug and a bright smile. “It’s nice to see you again,” she says, leading him into her apartment. “Jongin couldn’t make it?”

“He wanted to come so badly he almost cried on the phone when he told me he had to stay late for work,” Chanyeol says with a slight laugh. “He’ll probably call you later to hear all the details.”

Soojin laughs, gestures to a chair at her dining table for Chanyeol to take. Chanyeol sits, feeling a little out of place because this is the first time he’s met with Soojin on his own. She flits around her kitchen, opening up cupboards and pulling out some mugs and setting them down onto a pretty floral patterned tray beside the sink. She doesn’t look particularly pregnant, but Chanyeol has heard from his mother and Yura that it’s always different for each person. He remembers Yura showing just a bit by the time of her first ultrasound but Soojin looks the same as when Chanyeol last saw her.

She joins him at the table a few minutes later, handing him a mug of tea from the tray and pushing the little container of sugar toward him. Chanyeol thanks her, pours two small spoonfuls of sugar into his mug because Jongin’s not around to stop him, and stirs it in. “Is everything going okay for you?” he asks her.

“Yes, other than the usual things, everything has been fine,” she says after taking a sip of her tea. “The doctor said during the ultrasound yesterday that the baby is looks normal and everything is on track.” She smiles at Chanyeol and there’s a tiny clink as she sets her mug down. “It’s still too early to tell the baby’s gender, but…” She pushes her chair back, the legs screeching a bit against her hardwood floors, and goes up to retrieve something from a drawer underneath the counter. “Here,” she says, holding out the small image to Chanyeol who takes it with shaky hands.

He tries to calm himself down with a few deep breaths but he can’t. Maybe he should have left the sugar out of his tea but he has a feeling he’d still react like this, like he’s going to tear the sonogram photo in half because his fingers can’t stay still. “This is--” he starts, stops and swallows thickly. He can’t find the words.

Soojin’s smile widens as she pats his shoulder comfortingly. “Your baby,” she says and she points out to the fuzzy gray spots on the image.

Chanyeol can't quite seem to find his voice. Soojin understands, giving him one more pat on the shoulder before returning to her seat. Chanyeol barely notices though, eyes glued to the picture in his hands. That's his baby. His own child that in just over eight more months he will be able to hold in his arms and take home with him and Jongin. Their own child, their own family.

He feels suddenly choked up, like this is all too good to be true, and he has to set the image down and take a drink of his tea, focus on something else. His eyes keep darting over, and even if he can't tell much from the image other than a gray blob, this is proof that his baby is real. This is really happening.

"Are you all right?" Soojin asks, concern in her voice. When Chanyeol glances up at her, her brows are furrowed in worry and he wonders what sort of expression is on his face right now.

Chanyeol nods, takes a few long sips of his tea and it burns his tongue but he hardly notices that, too. "It's just," he says, his voice coming out a bit strangled, "this...this makes everything so real, and I wasn't expecting to feel so overwhelmed."

"And just think, this is only the beginning," Soojin teases and Chanyeol chokes on his tea a bit.

"Oh god," he says, wetting his mug down with a trembling hand and spilling tea over the rim. He yelps, heat rushing to his face in embarrassment, but Soojin just laughs and retrieves some napkins to help him clean up as he apologizes. "I'm already a mess just from one sonogram," Chanyeol says, sounding more whiny than he intends. "I'm just suddenly, I don't know, scared?"

Soojin pats his hand. "If you weren't scared, I'd say you aren't ready," she says and the calmness of her voice starts to soothe away Chanyeols anxiety. "Every new parent is scared. You're going to be in charge of a new life. Your baby is only going to have you. And that is a scary thing, when you stop and think about it."

Chanyeol runs a hand through his hair, looks back down at the sonogram. "And that's normal, to feel that way?"

"Absolutely," Soojin says.

Chanyeol is still caught between the near-suffocating feeling of being a parent and screaming in excitement and possibly running off the highest building, but he stares at the photo and then up at Soojin's warm smile and starts to feel better.

The anxiety is still bubbling inside him by the time he gets home about an hour later. Jongin is already back, shoes haphazardly thrown in the doorway and the loud sounds of Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal filling the apartment. He does that sort of thing when he's antsy, when he's trying hard not to think about something, and Chanyeol knows he’s been waiting impatiently for his return to hear what happened, to hear about their baby.

Jjanggu is lounging on the couch when Chanyeol walks in and he pets his head on his way to the kitchen where he can hear the slight banging of pots and the hiss of steam from something on the stove. Jongin is pacing back and forth from one end of the kitchen to the other while Potato sits by his bowl and watches him with intrigue.

“Hey,” Chanyeol says and Jongin turns on his heel so fast he just about slips on his socked feet. Chanyeol reaches out to catch him, but Jongin, always quick with his reflexes, stops himself by the counter and lets out a small laugh. “Are you okay?” Chanyeol asks, closing the space between them to look him over.

Jongin waves a hand at him. “I’m fine,” he says as he grabs his iPad off the counter and turns down the music. “What happened? How did it go? Is Soojin okay? The baby?”

Chanyeol holds up his hands to stop Jongin’s interrogation, laughing in amusement as Jongin clamps his mouth shut and looks slightly abashed. “Everything went well,” Chanyeol says and he pulls the envelope Soojin had given him with the sonogram tucked safely inside from his pocket. “Soojin looks great, you can barely even tell she’s pregnant. And she said the baby is healthy and on the right track. There’s nothing to worry about.” He pulls the sonogram out and hands it to Jongin, who sets his iPad back down and carefully takes it from him, his breath catching in his throat.

Jongin is silent for a long time and Chanyeol tries not to stare at him too obviously, but it’s hard. Especially as he can practically see the expression on his face change as Chanyeol points out what Soojin did to him on the little image. “It just looks like a blob to me, though,” Chanyeol laughs and Jongin makes a sort of mumbling sound like he’s crying. And sure enough, when Chanyeol glances at his face again, Jongin’s eyes are wet and he’s biting into his lower lip.

“This is our baby?” Jongin asks like he can’t believe it. He won’t stop looking at the photo.

Chanyeol wraps an arm around Jongin’s shoulders and pulls him close. “Yeah,” he says, and he feels a little like crying, too. “This is our baby."

-

Chanyeol looks up from his papers when a styrofoam cup is placed onto his desk right in his line of vision. Amber is standing on the other side of his desk with a grin on her face and a similar cup in her hand. “Yo,” she says, stepping back and flopping herself down onto a chair. “What’s with the disheveled, homeless look? Did you just crawl out of a gutter?”

“Very funny,” Chanyeol says as he takes the cup, the cardboard ring around it not enough to mask the warmth from the coffee. He takes a sip and tastes a little caramel and it’s soothing. “I don’t look that bad,” he adds, rubbing his hand over his jaw. He pauses, looks at her in slight alarm. “Do I?”

“Well, your kids keep coming to your class, so you haven’t scared anyone away yet.”

Chanyeol snorts, drops his hand from his face and picks up his pen again. “What’re you doing here?”

“Quick break,” she says. “I have a class in a half hour, thought I’d stop by and see how you were.” He looks up at her, raising a brow, because Chanyeol saw her just this morning as they were coming into campus and there’s no real reason for her to just stop by. She smirks around the rim of her cup and adds, “Kyungsoo said you were still having trouble. With the proposal thing.”

Chanyeol groans. “Don’t bring that up,” he says. “It’s on my mind enough already when I’m at home, I try to not think about it while I’m at work.”

“Kyungsoo thought I might have some ideas for you.”

Chanyeol blinks at her. “Do you?” he asks, and he hopes she doesn’t catch the eagerness in his voice.

“Not really,” she says with a shrug and Chanyeol slumps back into his chair.

“Go away,” he mumbles and she laughs at him.

“Take him out to dinner,” she says. “Haven’t you been whining about how he’s been super busy lately? Take a night for the two of you and then propose. Make it all fancy and shit.”

“Jongin’s not a _girl_ ,” Chanyeol reminds her with a roll of his eyes. “We’re not really fancy date night kind of people. And besides, that’s so predictable. He’ll know right away.”

“Aren’t you overthinking things?” Amber says, raising a brow. She brushes her bangs back from her face, her hair now a bright blonde unlike the soft brown it’d been a few months ago. Chanyeol thinks it looks surprisingly good on her. “If you don’t want to make it romantic like that, then just do it while you’re both at home, watching television or something incredibly boring like you guys probably do. Since you’re practically a boring married couple already.”

“You are the most useless friend ever,” Chanyeol announces.

Amber finds no offense in his words though, just laughing at him even more. “How rude, I brought you coffee,” she teases. “Come on, Chanyeol, don’t you think you’ve been dragging this on long enough? You shouldn’t think too hard about it, since, you know...it won’t be legal here, in Seoul.”

Chanyeol sighs, closing his eyes as he nods. “Yeah,” he says solemnly, “I know.” He tries not to think about that part too often because it makes him wonder if it’s really even worth the trouble. While South Korea’s attitude toward same-sex couples has improved in the last couple of years, marriages are nowhere near legal. He and Jongin could get married, but in the eyes of the law, it’d be as if they hadn’t gone through with it at all. Too many people still, much like Jongin’s parents, haven’t accepted this as a part of life and Chanyeol feels it everyday, when he can’t hold Jongin’s hand in public or, in light of recent events, can’t even be legally married to the one person he truly loves.

“Sorry,” Amber says suddenly, pulling Chanyeol out of his thoughts to look at her again. Her expression is deeply apologetic. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“It’s okay,” he says, waving away her apology with a flick of his hand. “We know that, but despite it, we’d like to do it anyway. Maybe have a small little wedding with our friends. Register just for the hell of it, even if it’s rejected. Maybe someday it won’t be.” He shrugs and runs a hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face as it flops right back down.

“Well, then, no matter what, I’m sure Jongin is going to be happy however you choose to propose.”

“That’s what you think, but I know Jongin, and he’ll give me fucking shit for days if I do something stupid,” Chanyeol says.

“Yeah, he’ll tease you about it, sure, but he’s gonna love it regardless,” Amber says seriously and well, she does have a point, there. It’s like what Zitao told him ages ago when he’d gotten the rings. Jongin will love whatever Chanyeol does, because Jongin will say yes, no matter what. He already knows that. And yet, the idea of springing the question on him is driving Chanyeol insane.

“I just want to do something, I don’t know. Special, I guess,” Chanyeol sighs, scratching the back of his neck.

Amber laughs and jumps up to her feet, her heavy boots thudding against the carpet as she leans across the desk and pinches Chanyeol’s cheek. “So cute,” she coos at him, patting his face when Chanyeol tries to swat her away. “Just man up and do it, Chanyeol. Everyone’s getting tired of hearing you whine.”

Chanyeol pouts. “You’re all useless,” he grumbles, but as he looks at Amber who is grinning at him, he can’t help but grin back. He lets out a deep breath and straightens up, squaring his shoulders. “You’re right though,” he says finally. “I should just go for it.”

“Of course I’m right,” Amber says. “And you should. Though I suggest shaving for once before you ask Jongin to marry you, because if _I_ was Jongin, I’d say no if I saw you looking like that.”

Chanyeol uses his long legs to his advantage to aim a kick at her shin from under the desk, but he’s laughing, feeling a little better about the whole proposal thing than he has in days. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he tells her. “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” Amber says, and raises her cup of coffee at him with a grin.

-

The thing about proposing to Jongin that Chanyeol finds most difficult is finding the right time. He still isn’t too keen on the whole dinner date thing as a way to propose, but he starts to wonder if that would be easier, because he could easily tell Jongin they haven’t had a chance to just relax together in a while and if Jongin could meet him at one of their favorite restaurants on Friday night, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. He doesn’t think he could be brave enough to propose in public though, not here where the relationship he has with Jongin is not commonly accepted. But a nice dinner together would be a good start to the night, and maybe when they get back to the apartment, Chanyeol could pop the question.

He’s still not sure about it though, and he really wants it to be as perfect as possible. Jongin means so much to him, and now, as they’re taking this huge step in their relationship and starting a family together, Chanyeol wants his proposal to be even more memorable, even more special.

He thinks about it sometimes, in the mornings when Jongin is curled up against his chest, face smooth in sleep and hair in his face. He thinks about just waking him up gently with a kiss and asking him if he would marry him. Or, maybe as they’re tangled together on the couch watching some anime that Jongin likes that Chanyeol watches to indulge him, if he should bring it up then, when the show goes to commercials and Jongin leans his head on his shoulder. Maybe even as they’re unwinding for the night, when Jongin comes home and he climbs into Chanyeol’s lap to kiss him after a long day, if that’s the right time, when Jongin is breathless and holding his face in his hands. Those moments, to Chanyeol, are so perfect, so simple and natural and never fail to make his heart beat faster, his body warm and happy because Jongin is there, solid and real and his. In those moments, Chanyeol feels the most in love.

But is that enough? That’s what Chanyeol’s worried about.

It isn’t until a week after Chanyeol’s talk with Amber that he finally plucks up the courage, that he just goes for it. He doesn’t particularly plan anything special, but he tells Jongin that Thursday morning to come home early if he can, so they can have dinner together.

“It’s been awhile,” he says, brushing Jongin’s hair from his face. “I just want to have a nice night with you.”

Jongin looks at him a little suspiciously for a moment, but Chanyeol’s a pretty good actor, if he says so himself, and the look fades from his face in the next second, replaced by a big grin. “All right,” he says. “I don’t think it’ll be a very long day, anyway.”

They leave together that morning, separating at the station so Jongin can head off to the SM building and Chanyeol can get to campus on time. Chanyeol returns home around five in the evening after his last class, and he tidies up around the apartment, tossing laundry that’s all over the floor into the washing machine and vacuuming the whole place. He takes a shower and dresses nicely, black slacks and a deep, red button-down that Jongin loves him in. He cooks up Jongin’s favorite chicken and he takes the ring out of its hiding spot, tucks it into his pocket. He’s going to go through with it, tonight. He doesn’t know exactly when he’ll say it, if it’ll be over dinner, or later as they unwind on the couch with a movie. Maybe not even until they get ready for bed. It doesn’t matter when, Chanyeol finally decides. He just has to do it.

“I can do it, right?” he asks Potato and Jjanggu as time ticks by slowly and he gets more and more nervous. “He’s going to say yes, right?”

Jjanggu gives him a sort of exasperated expression while Potato barks enthusiastically and Chanyeol sighs, shaking his head as he pets Potato in thanks. Jjanggu yips at him for attention too, and Chanyeol sits on the floor of the kitchen with his pets as company and anxiety slithering around his stomach.

When Jongin gets home, Chanyeol has finished cooking and is a bundle of nerves. He gently smacks himself in the face a few times to calm down and goes to greet Jongin with a grin, and he desperately hopes Jongin doesn’t catch onto what he’s hiding. “You made it,” he says, taking Jongin’s coat from him and hanging it up in the hall closet.

“I said I would,” Jongin replies. “They’re all working on other things these days so the dance practice has been cut a little short. But I have to meet with the management to choreograph something for SHINee’s upcoming return soon, so things will get busy again.” He sighs deeply, looking rather put out about it, but Chanyeol knows Jongin loves his job and that even if he complains, he wouldn’t want to do anything else.

“Then it’s a good thing we’re taking a slow night off together,” Chanyeol says with a grin. “Right?”

Jongin smiles at him. “Right,” he says firmly, and then blinks as he takes in Chanyeol’s appearance. “Was that what you were wearing this morning?”

“I spilled something on it while I was cooking,” Chanyeol lies easily. “So I changed.” He shrugs. “You want to shower before we eat?”

“Yeah,” Jongin says slowly, still looking at Chanyeol a little uncertainly, like something is off but he can’t figure out what. “Yeah, okay. I’ll be right back.” He disappears down the hall and Chanyeol lets out a deep sigh.

“That was close,” he whispers to Potato who has stayed by his side while Jjanggu followed Jongin into the bedroom. “Come on, Potato,” he says, heading back to the kitchen, “let’s get things set up.”

Potato barks excitedly as he follows and runs around at Chanyeol’s feet as he finds plates and utensils, setting them up onto the table properly. They don’t sit there and eat much, opting to lounge on the couch and use the coffee table instead as they watch a movie or something. But Chanyeol wants this to be special, and he wants to take it slow and easy. He wants to just sit here with Jongin with no other distractions than Potato and Jjanggu and he wants to have to a nice dinner. Chanyeol’s not the best cook in the world, but Jongin is always enthusiastic about what he makes, and Chanyeol made his favorite tonight.

“Wow, this smells great, Chanyeol,” Jongin says, walking into the kitchen a few minutes later. He’s pulled on a pair of jeans and a nice shirt and his hair is still wet, dripping down onto the peek of clavicles under the collar of his shirt. Chanyeol swallows and has to tear his eyes away, forcing himself not to jump the gun here. He has a mission. If everything goes well, then hopefully he’ll get some of that later.

“It’s your favorite,” Chanyeol points out unnecessarily. “I haven’t made it for you in awhile.”

“I haven’t been home for dinner in awhile,” Jongin says and he ducks his head a little apologetically. “I’m sorry.”

Chanyeol waves his hand at him quickly. “It’s okay, it’s work,” he says. “And that’s why we’re enjoying this together.” He takes Jongin’s hand and leads him to the table. Jongin’s eyes widen as he takes in the fully set table, everything in place perfectly, a bottle of wine waiting in the middle for the two of them.

He turns to Chanyeol with his eyebrows raised and there’s something frightfully knowing in his eyes as he stares at him. “Isn’t this a little excessive?” he asks. “It’s nice and all, don’t get me wrong, but you didn’t have to do all of this.”

“I wanted to,” Chanyeol says and he shrugs, trying to pass it off as no big deal and he really, really hopes his face doesn’t give him away.

But Jongin peers at him a little longer, eyes narrowing now as the surprise fades into suspicion. It’s the same sort of look he gave Chanyeol that morning, except now Chanyeol can practically hear the wheels in his head turning as everything sort of clicks into place. And when it does, Jongin’s jaw drops and he thrusts a finger into Chanyeol’s face, exclaiming, “Oh my god!”

“It’s not what you think!” Chanyeol says quickly, holding his hands up as Jongin bounces on his feet, his eyes so bright and a grin working its way across his mouth.

“Really?” he says doubtfully. “Because it looks like you’re finally fucking proposing!”

Chanyeol’s mouth opens in a retort but nothing comes out as panic fills his veins instead. He was really hoping Jongin wouldn’t be able to tell but he should’ve expected, that after all this time together, that Jongin can read him better than anyone can. And this is not how he wanted to do this, so suddenly without going over that tiny speech he’s been mulling around in his head at least ten more times, but Jongin is standing right in front of him with his eyes full of wonder like maybe he’d given up on Chanyeol _ever_ proposing that Chanyeol, despite the temptation to deny it and come up with a new plan, can’t find it in him to back out now.

He reaches out and takes Jongin’s hand that’s still pointing out at his face, gently uncurling his fingers to he can thread his own between them instead. His heart rate has picked up considerably, like he’s just run a marathon even though he’s barely moved an inch, but the way Jongin continues to stare at him makes him feel so impossibly breathless it’s practically the same thing. The suspicion on Jongin’s face has faded into something much more like fondness and he’s already smiling that beautiful smile of his that Chanyeol can never get enough of, even though Chanyeol hasn’t even said a word.

“Are you gonna do it, or are you just gonna stare at me?” Jongin teases him, but he sounds a little incredulous, too, like he can’t believe this is really happening.

“Shut up,” Chanyeol laughs, but he tugs Jongin closer, until he can press a swift kiss to his forehead. “I wanted to do something really special,” he manages to say, “but it just figures you’d ruin that for me.”

“Hey!” Jongin exclaims, punching Chanyeol in the arm, hard. “Is that anyway to start a proposal?”

“I already know you’re going to say yes, so how I do this can’t really hurt,” he replies as he shoves his left hand into his pocket to pull out the ring. Jongin gives him a look like he’s half tempted to tell him he could still change his mind, but before he gets the chance, Chanyeol is slipping the ring onto Jongin’s finger.

“I think this is something we should have done years ago,” Chanyeol says, staring at Jongin’s face while all Jongin can look at is his hand, and his lower lip is pulled between his teeth like he’s trying to stop himself from getting too emotional. “But it’s okay that it took so long because that’s just how we are, and I’ve never needed something like this to tell you how much I love you, even if that ring does look really nice on you.”

Jongin huffs out a laugh, and Chanyeol runs his thumb over the polished titanium on Jongin’s ring finger. When Jongin finally looks back up at him, his eyes are glossy and Chanyeol is already trying to fight back his own tears. He didn’t really expect to cry like this, because Jongin is the emotional one between the two of them, but his heart just feels so full, like it can’t contain every wonderful thing he’s feeling or thinking, like it’s seconds from bursting straight out of his chest, overflowing with happiness. He just thinks about when he first met Jongin, when they first kissed, when they boxed up their apartments and moved into the one they’re living in now together, when they got caught in the rain and Jongin kissed him under the awning of a closed shop at midnight. He looks into Jongin’s eyes and he sees the time they had their first real argument, or the time their bed broke after Chanyeol had fucked Jongin into the mattress, or the evenings when Chanyeol came home from work to find Jongin asleep on the couch with Potato and Jjanggu napping with him.

And he sees not only the past, their many, many years together, but also their future. The welcoming of their new baby, crying at each other over how to change diapers and how to do this whole parenting thing. And he sees them growing old together, forever at each other’s sides. And it’s beautiful, he thinks. Every moment he’s spent with Jongin and every moment he will spend with him in the days to come, it’s everything Chanyeol has ever wanted, and so much more.

“Jongin,” he says softly, “will you marry me?”

Jongin clenches his fingers around Chanyeol’s hand and his lips quiver slightly as he grins and weakly punches Chanyeol in the chest repeatedly. “Fucking _finally_ ,” he cries, and then he’s hugging him, wrapping strong arms around Chanyeol’s waist and pressing his face into the crook of his neck. He pulls him in so close it’s like he’s trying to mold their bodies into one and Chanyeol’s received many hugs from Jongin over the years but nothing quite compares to this one.

He’s laughing now, because this is not at all how he planned this to go and his impromptu speech was rather terrible, but Jongin is giggling into his skin and his hands are fisting into the back of his shirt so Chanyeol doesn’t care. He squeezes Jongin tight around the middle and he can practically feel Jongin’s own heart beating rapidly through his chest, and he doesn’t want to let him go.

It’s Jongin who pulls back first, but just enough to take Chanyeol’s face in his hands and say, “Yes, you idiot, I will marry you.” He doesn’t even give Chanyeol a chance to reply before he’s kissing him, pressing those full, warm lips to his own so enthusiastically Chanyeol just moans and clutches at his forearms to keep himself steady.

Chanyeol’s not sure how much time passes when they finally part, but his face hurts from the grin that’s taken over his features and his lips feel a little swollen but he doesn’t mind. His veins are singing with a kind of giddiness he hasn’t felt in ages, the sort of irrepressible happiness that makes him want to run down the streets or shout off the rooftops like they do in movies. Instead, he just gives Jongin one last kiss to his temple and says, “So, now that _that’s_ over--should we eat?”

Jongin’s soft laughter seems to sound even more beautiful now, now that he can look at him and actually call Jongin his _fiance_. “Okay, yeah,” he says, finally letting go of Chanyeol to pull his chair out from under the table. “That’s a good idea.”

They settle down quietly and Chanyeol can’t quite take his eyes off Jongin who can’t quite take his own eyes off the ring on his hand. Chanyeol is amazed he’s even still breathing, considering how fast his heart is pounding. He almost drops his plate with his unsteady hands as he fills up with food while Jongin unscrews the wine and pours them glasses. He smiles around the rim as he drinks, his gaze now on Chanyeol who feels suddenly uncomfortable with the way Jongin is staring at him.

Just as he opens his mouth to question him, Jongin muses aloud, “You know, that _was_ a pretty pathetic proposal,” and Chanyeol squawks indignantly (nevermind that Jongin’s kind of right) and _accidentally_ drops Jongin’s favorite chicken onto the floor.

-

It’s by some sort of miracle that they’re able to find a minister willing to perform the ceremony for their impromptu wedding. They don’t make it a big fuss, and they don’t have the means to do so anyway, what with the surrogacy eating up most of their savings. Chanyeol really couldn’t care less about having a grand wedding and Jongin agrees.

“I just want it to be our closest families and friends. And our puppies,” Jongin tells him after they get the call from Baekhyun, who, for whatever reason, has a friend that would be more than happy to do the service for Chanyeol and Jongin. Baekhyun knows a lot of strange people, so Chanyeol doesn’t question how he even met this person, just thanks Baekhyun excessively until Baekhyun threatened to take it all back.

“Of course the puppies,” Chanyeol laughs, curling onto his side in bed as Potato and Jjanggu demand all of Jongin’s attention. “We could have Jjanggu walk the rings down the aisle. Potato would probably eat them.”

“Maybe that’s a better job for Daeho. Or one of your nephews or something,” Jongin says, the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement. Jjanggu barks at him like he’s offended Jongin thinks he can’t do the job and Jongin chuckles, appeases the poodle with a scratch behind the ears. He slinks down into bed then, sliding over just enough so the space between them is practically nonexistent, and Chanyeol reaches out first to glide a hand over Jongin’s bare hip. It’s getting colder but Jongin still insists on sleeping practically naked, pulling on just a bare of boxers and using Chanyeol as a heater instead. Chanyeol can’t say he particularly minds.

Chanyeol draws tiny circles across Jongin’s skin, eyes on his face that he can just barely make out in the darkness of their room. His eyelids start to droop, breathing evening out as sleep starts to claim him, and Jongin clutches a fist into Chanyeol’s shirt as he says, “Goodnight actual-fiance,” and Chanyeol pinches the skin at his hip and enjoys Jongin’s yelp.

In the end, they have a very small celebration about a month later, inviting their closest friends and family. Jongin left a message for his parents, but they never returned it, nor did they show up, and Chanyeol hugged him tight for ten minutes, smoothing down his hair and telling him it was okay, and reminding him that his sisters were all here and they were going to yell at him if he ruined his makeup because he was crying.

“I’m not crying,” Jongin sniffs at him, shoving him away and delivering a weak punch to his chest. His eyes are a little red but Chanyeol doesn’t comment, just kisses his lips softly.

Chanyeol can’t remember if he ever had a dream about what his wedding would be like, but if he did, he’s sure it can’t compare to reality. To Jongin looking impeccable in his three-piece suit, hair pushed up and off his forehead. He’s got that beautiful, beautiful smile of his stretched across his lips and all Chanyeol wants to do throughout the short service is kiss him, and he’s pretty fucking proud of himself for making it until the end.

They have a little dinner with their guests afterwards at Yixing’s restaurant, Yixing ordering his staff around and ensuring everything is absolutely _perfect_ while giving them both warm hugs even more bone-crushing than the ones Chanyeol’s mother offered them after the ceremony as she cried. Chanyeol’s parents left after that, though, along with Jongin’s sisters, all wishing them such sincere congratulations that it was difficult not to get choked up.

“Don’t worry about mom and dad,” Jaehwa told Jongin as she gave him a hug he didn’t seem to want to remove himself from. “We’re so happy for you.”

She gave Chanyeol a hug too, afterwards, and said, “Take care of Jonginnie, okay?”

“Of course,” he replied firmly, taking Jongin’s hand in his when he returned to his side.

Now, they’re finally just enjoying themselves with their friends. Minseok and Junmyeon both left after the service, too, along with Zitao who had to catch a flight to L.A., but he gave Jongin a long hug and teased him for getting all emotional, even though Chanyeol knew Zitao had cried during the ceremony, too, no matter how much he might try to deny it.

“You still owe me that dinner,” he told Chanyeol before he left and Chanyeol laughed and ignored Jongin’s questioning look at that. Jongin didn’t need to know just how much Zitao helped him with the rings.

Jongin never leaves Chanyeol’s side that evening, or maybe it seems that way because Chanyeol sticks to Jongin like he’ll be deprived of oxygen if he steps away for too long. Jongin doesn’t say anything about his closeness though, just curls into his side as they sit together at a table and enjoy one too many glasses of wine and some of Yixing’s most delicious dishes, prepared especially for all of them.

“You didn’t have to go through all of that,” Chanyeol says but Yixing waves a hand at him dismissively.

“I wanted to,” he says, smiling bright. His dimple peeking out in his cheek. “Think of it as your present. We’ve all only wanted this to happen for years.”

“We could say the same thing about you,” Jongin points out, leaning across the table toward him. “It took you and Yifan even longer to finally get married and it was easier for you guys, what with his whole Canada thing.”

Yixing glances over his shoulder to where Yifan is talking to Baekhyun, the smile on his face widening as he turns back. “Yifan’s a little slow sometimes,” he says. “I had to intervene.”

Chanyeol laughs, remembering how Yifan had called him to complain that Yixing had ended up popping the question on him before Yifan could get around to it, even though he’d had a speech planned for nearly three years. It’d taken Yifan awhile to get over it, but eventually the realization that he and Yixing were finally engaged put this disgustingly sappy look on his face that lasted about a month. They’ve been married for just over two years now, but they act like it’s been much, much longer than that. Chanyeol wonders if that’s what will happen with him and Jongin.

"So, how's the baby thing coming along?" Yixing asks them, pulling Chanyeol from his thoughts. Next to him, Jongin is already pulling out his wallet, a huge grin on his face.

"Great!" he says. "Look, hyung!" He unfolds the photo of their sonogram, the one he scanned after Chanyeol told him not to keep the actual one in his wallet because it'd get ruined. Instead, Jongin made a copy so he could whip it out and show everyone, and they'd pinned the actual photo to their fridge with a magnet. Chanyeol thinks Jongin's enthusiasm about it is adorable, and he sits back and just listens as he tells Yixing everything Soojin has told them about the baby.

Chanyeol’s thoughts are disrupted again as someone suddenly flings himself practically into his lap, and arm wrapping around his neck. "Dude," says a clearly tipsy Jongdae, "you're _married_."

The awe in his voice has Chanyeol laughing. "Yeah, I am," he says happily, shoving Jongdae off of him and into a chair on his left.

" _Married_ ,” he emphasizes again, like he’s never heard of such a thing. “How could you do this to me? We were supposed to be a part of the singles club forever.”

"Jongdae, I haven’t been a part of the singles club for eight years, remember?”

"Yeah, yeah, well, I tend to ignore Jongin’s existence," Jongdae stays with a wave of his hand, and he tips his head back to laugh when Jongin exclaims, "Hey!"

Amused, Chanyeol just slides his left hand over to grasp onto Jongin’s right, resting them atop Jongin’s knee and giving his hand a small squeeze. Jongdae is waving over one of the waiters to get a glass of champagne and Chanyeol asks, “Since when have you been a part of the singles club, anyway? I thought things were going well with Sunyoung?”

Jongdae slumps a little in his seat, staring at his glass as he swirls the liquid around and around. “We had a pretty awful fight,” he says, “about a week ago. That’s why she didn’t come with me today.”

“Have you apologized?” Chanyeol asks. It might be the obvious thing, but Jongdae can be stubborn. And stupid.

“ _Yes_ ,” Jongdae says, looking offended, and Chanyeol raises a hand up appeasingly. “She won’t return my calls.”

Jongin’s tugging on his hand, clearly wanting his attention. He catches the sound of a chair shuffling across the floor, and then Jongin is undoubtedly pressing up against his side, resting his head onto Chanyeol’s shoulder. “Well,” he says to Jongdae, trying not to get too distracted when his friend clearly needs his advice, “you haven’t technically broke up, so that’s a good thing. I’m sure she’ll come around.” He swallows as Jongin starts tracing little patterns into the skin at his wrist. “I like her,” he adds. “So does Jongin.”

“Yeah, me too,” Jongdae says with a wry smile. He downs his champagne and stands. “I’ll leave you now, since I can tell you’re just dying to turn your attention back to your husband.”

 _Husband_. The word sends a giddy stream of pleasure down Chanyeol’s back. “We should have lunch sometime, soon,” he offers Jongdae, who grins at him and says he’ll call before heading off to bother someone else.

Chanyeol slides around in his seat toward Jongin, who glances up at him from beneath his lashes and smiles beautifully and Chanyeol just wants to kiss him. So he does, uncaring about everyone around, no one is really paying them much mind anymore and besides it _is_ their wedding. Jongin’s lips stretch into a grin as Chanyeol kisses him, and a hand reaches up to clutch at the lapel of his suit and tug him even closer. Slick, warm heat welcomes him as Chanyeol slips his tongue into Jongin’s mouth, and god, he can’t believe that they’re here, right now, on their wedding night. It’s almost too good to be true.

“Hey, get a room!” Baekhyun shouts loudly, followed by lots of laughter. Chanyeol doesn’t particularly want to stop, seconds away from giving Baekhyun the finger when Jongin breaks the kiss and hides his face into his shoulder.

There’s a smug look on Baekhyun’s face when Chanyeol finds him in the crowd and glares at him. But, as he thinks about it, Chanyeol figures maybe Baekhyun’s got a point. It’s not entirely that late, but Chanyeol’s really had enough of the congratulations and thanking everyone, enough of being stuck in this suit and enough of having to push down the urge to pin Jongin against a table and kiss him until he’s breathless.

“Actually,” he says, “I think it is time for us to go home.”

Jongin looks up at him in surprise while Jongdae wolf-whistles from a few tables over, Baekhyun soon joining in. A grin spreads across Chanyeol’s face even as Jongin covers his own with his hands in embarrassment. “What do you say?” he asks Jongin, leaning in close to speak into his ear. At Jongin’s responding shudder, Chanyeol smirks; he already knows the answer.

But Jongin slowly drops his hands, eyes intense as they meet his. He licks his lips and says, “Let’s get out of here.”

-

The headboard of the bed bangs loudly against the wall as Chanyeol is pushed down onto the mattress with a soft thud. Jongin’s laughing into his mouth as he climbs on top of him, hands cupping either side of his face as his knees slide along the sheets. His thighs press warm and snug against Chanyeol’s hips and Chanyeol grins wide as he grabs Jongin’s waist and tugs him close.

“I almost thought,” Jongin says between kisses, “we’d never be able to leave.”

Chanyeol chuckles, settling back on his elbows as Jongin draws away to shake his suit jacket off his shoulders. It lands on the floor and then he’s swooping in again, catching Chanyeol’s lower lip between his teeth and rutting down against him. It draws out a low moan from Chanyeol, who fists a hand into Jongin’s perfectly done up hair, a little rough from the spray his sisters had used to keep it in place, and tugs gently until Jongin is gasping into his mouth, too. Heat fills Chanyeol’s veins from every brush of Jongin’s fingers, from the one too many layers of his suit, and he feels a little like he’s suffocating from pleasure. He pushes Jongin back, sucking in deep breaths and says, “Clothes. Off. Now.”

Jongin doesn’t waste a second to comply, sliding Chanyeol’s jacket off his shoulders and then working on the buttons of his shirt while Chanyeol undoes his vest. The cool air of the room is welcoming to his skin, even as Jongin’s fiery touch leaves him aching, hands skimming across his torso, lighting teasing his nipples. Jongin laughs when Chanyeol nips at his earlobe in retaliation, but the sound slowly turns into a drawn-out moan as Chanyeol unzips his slacks and rubs the heel of his palm over the bulge in his underwear.

Jongin scrambles to quickly undo his own shirt and vest, shaky fingers popping open buttons as Chanyeol drags his pants down his legs. He tosses them off the bed, following the rest of Jongin’s clothes, and then Jongin’s climbing into his lap again, making quick work of the rest of Chanyeol’s clothing until they’re pressed up skin to skin. Jongin’s mouth latches along the column of his neck, as Chanyeol slides a hand down his back and cups his ass, hissing between his teeth.

Warm lips press along the jut of Chanyeol's collarbones, licking softly overheated skin as they make their way down and Chanyeol can't do much but sigh at the pleasure. Jongin is always good at teasing, at working him up until he's aching. Chanyeol likes it, though, the way Jongin knows exactly what to do to pull a groan out of him, or react by clenching his hand tightly in Jongin's hair. He tugs on the strands the way Jongin likes, gasps out loudly when Jongin mouths over a nipple and then continues further down, laving his skin with the warmth of his tongue. Arousal pools in the pit of Chanyeol's stomach and he's been burning with the want to fuck Jongin all evening, and he really doesn't think he can last long enough if Jongin continues this sort of lazy body worship.

"Come here," Chanyeol says, tugging at his hair again, and Jongin's brows furrow a bit but he complies. Chanyeol pulls him into a kiss that makes Jongin laugh a little into his mouth, and as Jongin relaxes in his hold, Chanyeol hooks a leg around Jongin's and flips them over. The bed screeches in protest and Jongin bites into his lower lip before he laughs again, breathless, and his hands slide up Chanyeol's back, fingers drumming gently along the bumps of his spine.

Jongin looks up at him, his hair a slight mess from Chanyeol's efforts, falling into his face now, and he's just a little flushed. The smile he gives him is so soft, so beautiful, it makes Chanyeol's heart expand in his chest, too big to fit. Chanyeol brushes his bangs back, trails his fingers down the side of his face and whispers, "Husband," and Jongin grins so wide that when Chanyeol kisses him, he feels more teeth than lips.

"That really has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" Jongin says when they pull apart, gasping.

Chanyeol hums in agreement, kissing his way down Jongin's chest the way he had done to him earlier. Jongin fists his hands into the bedsheets and arches up against him as Chanyeol sucks a mark just above his navel. He's leaking against his stomach there, and he groans when Chanyeol takes him in his hand, strokes him firmly a few times.

"Please," Jongin gasps, "don't stop."

"Grab the lube," Chanyeol replies and Jongin throws out an arm toward the bedside table, yanking open the drawer and sending whatever is inside tumbling around with a loud clatter. He lets out a tiny sound when he finds it, tosses the small tube to Chanyeol who pops the cap and coats his fingers.

Jongin lays back against the bed, spreads his legs apart a bit for Chanyeol and reaches down to stroke himself, but Chanyeol knocks his hand away. "Wait," he says when Jongin whines at him, eyes narrowing. "Can you come from just my fingers?" He pushes in the first as he says it, watches the way Jongin's jaw sets a bit and he bites down on his lower lip.

"You already know I can," Jongin says pointedly and Chanyeol laughs against Jongin's knee.

"True," he says, because after eight years, they've tried many, many things together and Chanyeol knows just what to do to get the best reactions out of Jongin when they're like this. "But that doesn't mean I don't want to try again."

"Just hurry up," Jongin mutters. "I don't care what you do, as long as you let me come."

"Impatient," Chanyeol teases as he presses in another finger and crooks them up inside. Jongin groans, his hips bucking up instinctively, and Chanyeol pins him down with his other hand. He gets a glare for that, but it's quickly wiped off his face when he leans forward and licks a stripe up Jongin's dick.

Jongin cries out instantly, body trembling under Chanyeol's palm as he tries to move toward the pleasure but can't, not with Chanyeol holding him down. It's amazing, watching the way Jongin writhes under him, a pretty pink flush spreading down his neck. His eyes clench shut as Chanyeol works him open with his fingers and sucks him down at the same time, pressing the tip of his tongue to the slit the way Jongin likes it, tasting beads of precome before pulling back to lick his way down again. The fleeting kisses his leaves across Jongin's thigh has him quivering, the muscles of his body tightening around his fingers and he murmurs, "Open up for me, baby," to fit in a third.

And when Chanyeol finds that spot inside him, Jongin cries out loudly and Chanyeol lets go of his hip so he can rock down onto his fingers as he pushes them in and out. "Oh god," Jongin moans as he circles his hips and Chanyeol takes the head of his dick into his mouth again. He's close, Chanyeol can tell, and he picks up the speed a little, pushing Jongin straight to that edge of ecstasy and the sounds Jongin makes grow even louder. He swirls his tongue around the tip and sucks Jongin down as far as he can, presses his fingers up against his prostate again and again until Jongin is yanking on his hair _hard_ and gasping, his dick twitching on Chanyeol's tongue just seconds away from coming.

That's when Chanyeol pulls back completely, slipping his fingers out of Jongin's body and letting his dick fall from his mouth to wrap his fingers around the base. Jongin lets out this strangled sound, somewhere between a cry of outrage and a pleasurable moan. His eyes are wide, pupils blown as he stares up at Chanyeol who just smirks down at him and enjoys the way Jongin trembles against the sheets, sensitive from being so close to release and being denied.

"Chan _yeol_ ," he whines. He lets his hand in Chanyeol's hair slip out and reaches for his cock again, but Chanyeol pushes it away. "Come _on_."

"Don't worry," Chanyeol says, sliding down against him and kissing along his jawline. "It's not like I'm gonna leave you hanging."

Jongin glares at him. "I'm not so sure."

"It's our wedding night, I won't be that mean," Chanyeol laughs. He kisses Jongin on the lips now, and Jongin is tense for a moment before he reciprocates and pulls Chanyeol in even close with hands on his hips. Chanyeol groans into his mouth as his neglected erection rubs up against Jongin's hip, reminding him just how close he is, too. Just as he thinks about pulling away to get on with it, Jongin is pushing him back, back, back until Chanyeol is sitting on the bed, eyes widening as Jongin climbs up into his lap.

Jongin grabs the discarded lube and slicks up Chanyeol's dick, hands sliding firmly up and down and drawing a shuddered moan out of Chanyeol at the attention. He gasps when Jongin wraps an arm around Chanyeol's shoulders and uses his free hand to hold Chanyeol's dick as he slowly sinks down onto him.

"Fuck," Chanyeol gasps, grabbing Jongin's hips to steady him. He feels dizzy from the tight heat that wraps around him, from the solidity of Jongin's body in his arms, clinging onto him as he adjusts. His breath is tickling into Chanyeol's clavicles, and his nails dig into the skin at his back and everything feels like it's too much but not enough at the same time. Chanyeol doesn't think he could ever get enough of Jongin like this, hot and tight around him, Chanyeol's name falling from his lips in a breathless sort of mantra. It's perfect. And right now, after everything that has happened that day, Chanyeol doesn't think he's ever felt so incredibly complete.

"Chanyeol," Jongin whispers, pulling back a bit to stare into Chanyeol's face. "Whatever ridiculous thing you're thinking, can you do it _after_ this?" He tugs on Chanyeol's hair. "Move, already."

Chanyeol lets out a burst of laughter, happiness spreading out through his body and mixing in with wonderful pleasure that's already settled within. "I love you," he says, catches Jongin's lips in a fierce kiss, as he pushes up tentatively and feels Jongin clench around him.

Jongin rocks his hips down to meet Chanyeol's thrusts, and from there it's a quick, steady pace that has them both groaning and tumbling toward the their climax together. Chanyeol knows Jongin won't last long at all, not after what he did earlier, so he shoves a hand between them to jerk him off in time to their fucking, eager to get him off first so he can feel it all around him. He focuses on everything else than his own desperation to come, the way Jongin's nails are scratching down his back so hard he's sure it'll leave marks, the way Jongin's lips are parted with his gasped breaths, his lips a slick and gorgeous red. Chanyeol brushes his hair away from his face, watches how Jongin's eyelashes flutter against his cheeks, how he focuses in on Chanyeol through the haze of his own pleasure and he smiles at him, that wondrous smile that Chanyeol thinks is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

It's gone in the next second though, as Chanyeol rubs his thumb over the head of Jongin's dick and feels him tense under his hands. "Are you close?" Chanyeol whispers into Jongin's ear and Jongin only manages to nod frantically in response. "Jongin, come for me."

It takes just a few moments until Jongin does, clenching tight around Chanyeol and clutching to him as his body goes taut and he moans loudly into the crook of Chanyeol's neck. Chanyeol strokes him through it until Jongin is gasping at him to stop, and he lets go only to grab Jongin by the hips and push him down onto the bed again. Jongin groans as Chanyeol lifts his legs over his shoulders and thrusts into him quickly, arousal coiling in his belly and taking over his senses. Jongin slides a hand around the back of Chanyeol's neck and holds on, fingers pressed down hard into the skin, and his eyes never once leave Chanyeol's face as he chases down his own pleasure. He's so close he can taste it, and as Jongin's body spasms around him, so deliciously hot and tight, it doesn't take much more time at all until Chanyeol comes, too.

Jongin draws him in with the hand at his neck to muffle his sounds into his mouth, kissing him so deeply Chanyeol feels it in his bones. A shudder wracks through him, his veins searing with pleasure, and he pushes in a few last times until he feels far too overstimulated. He pulls out with a small groan, breaking away from Jongin's kiss to collapse into his chest, forehead pressed against his collarbone.

He feels the soft rumble of laughter almost before he hears it, Jongin's hands threading soothingly through his hair as his chuckles fill the room. Chanyeol grins into his skin and he kisses Jongin's chest before snuggling against him even more. He feels so content that he doesn't think there's anything that could make this moment better. All he wants right now is to lie here with Jongin, with his _husband_ , and indulge in the warmth and happiness surging through his body.

"Chanyeol," Jongin whispers after a few minutes, "I love you, too."

A grin spreads across his face and he lifts his head just enough to lean up and kiss Jongin soundly on the mouth.

-

Nothing really changes after the wedding, except constantly needing to remember to wear his ring in the morning and enjoying the way Jongin's hand looks with the addition of his own. Every time Chanyeol gets a glimpse of it, his heart races in his chest and he feels the need to tug Jongin close and kiss him. That's hard to do whenever they're in public, but he can't seem to help the loving gazes he sends Jongin's way instead, that makes Jongin flush a bit and any of their friends they're with to roll their eyes in exasperation. Baekhyun says it's like their honeymoon phase, but Chanyeol's not so sure that's really possible to have when he and Jongin have already been together for eight years. Almost nine, now, as the months start to pass by at a steady pace, November chill transforming into snuggling together with hot chocolate and fuzzy socks in the freezing December weather.

Christmas comes and goes as a celebration with Chanyeol’s family that has the sadness in Jongin's eyes replaced by a brightness Chanyeol always wants to see. Jongin was only able to call his mother for a moment, to offer her well wishes and receive them in return, but she made no effort to ask about the wedding she did not attend, or about Chanyeol, or anything. He wasn't invited to his own family Christmas party that his sisters were going to, and even though it's not the first year this has happened, Chanyeol can tell that, with everything that's happened in Jongin's life - the marriage, the baby - that he wants so terribly to share that with his family. Chanyeol wishes he could, but he's just glad that his own parents never fail to welcome Jongin in with warm hugs and smiles. Yura buying him the latest volumes in some silly romance manga that they both like definitely helps, too.

Chanyeol's parents get them a crib for the baby which has them both protesting profusely in the beginning until Chanyeol's mother threatens them with her spatula to shut up and accept it. Jongin looks like he might cry, but he just clutches Chanyeol's hand and lets Chanyeol pull him close and kiss the top of his head.

It’s a nice weekend full of laughter and happiness and Chanyeol’s mother’s best dishes. It’s Jongin playing with Yura’s two boys, who seem to love him as much as they love Chanyeol, hanging off his shoulders and insisting he plays with them out in the snow. Chanyeol’s heart grows so warm as he watches them, because it’s so easy to imagine coming home to Jongin running around with their kid, Jongin snuggling up in bed together with him or her, Jongin teaching them how to play his favorite video games, Jongin welcoming him home with a kiss while their kid clutches at Chanyeol’s legs and calls him _dad_. It makes Chanyeol so excited. He can’t wait.

After Christmas, the new year comes all too quickly, but Chanyeol and Jongin start to grow more anxious as the months toward Soojin’s due date nears. The baby room has finally been cleaned out, the crib Chanyeol’s parents got them built one Saturday afternoon among a lot of frustration and snapping until Jongin accidentally sends a hammer down on Chanyeol’s thumb instead of a nail. Chanyeol whines a little too much, milking the moment of Jongin’s over-enthused apologizes and kisses to make it better. Lu Han and Minseok stop by with dinner and Minseok takes over the crib building with Jongin while Lu Han schools Chanyeol at FIFA 13.

On Jongin’s birthday, Chanyeol makes reservations at a nice restaurant that he heard about from Yixing and comes home early to surprise him. He doesn’t expect anyone to be there, though, so the pair of heels in the doorway are a surprise. He wonders if maybe one of Jongin’s sisters stopped by to wish him happy birthday, too, and he eagerly slips out of his shoes and coat to greet them; he hasn’t had a chance to see either one since the wedding.

Except it’s not Jaehwa or Sunjung. It’s not even Yura. At the kitchen table next to Jongin, is Jongin’s own mother, whom Chanyeol has only met once before. He freezes in his spot as Jongin turns around quickly, eyes wide.

“You’re home,” Jongin says in surprise. “I thought you weren’t done for another hour or so.”

“I canceled my last class,” Chanyeol says slowly, tearing his eyes away from Jongin’s mother who stares at him warily. He looks at Jongin instead, who seems a little troubled. “Sorry, it was supposed to be a surprise. So we could, uh, spend some time together before dinner.”

Jongin flushes, wringing his hands and he casts his mother a glance. He clears his throat and says, “Mom, you remember Chanyeol.”

Remembering his manners, Chanyeol gives her a quick bow. “It’s nice to see you again,” he says.

She’s tight-lipped as she nods. “You, too,” she says. “It’s good to see you’re both well.”

“I’m great, mom,” Jongin insists. “I’ve honestly never been so happy.”

That makes Chanyeol grin despite everything, despite the fact that Jongin’s mother doesn’t seem to find his statement as comforting. She glances at Chanyeol again, and it’s not a very pleasant look, and Chanyeol really doesn’t want to deal with this. Least of all today, when he had such a great evening planned for the two of them. But he knows how much Jongin cherishes the rare moments he can talk to his mother, and he won’t begrudge him that. He gives Jongin’s shoulder a quick squeeze and says, “I’ll let you two talk,” and heads out of the room before Jongin can try to stop him.

He goes to take a shower in hopes that when he comes out, Jongin’s mother will have gone. Chanyeol doesn’t really know her well enough to hate her, but after everything she has done to Jongin over the many years that they’ve been together, it’s hard for him to think of her in a positive light. He wishes, almost, that Jongin would just cut his parents from his life entirely because to Chanyeol they only seem to be a cause of unhappiness. Jongin doesn’t need them, he thinks as he shampoos up his hair and frowns at the shower walls. Jongin his him, has Chanyeol’s whole family who love him like he’s their own, and he has his sisters and their families who, despite their parents beliefs, are always there for Jongin and for Chanyeol, too. That seems like enough to Chanyeol, but it’s clearly not for Jongin, who clings to the hope that someday his parents will change their minds.

Chanyeol’s not sure that will happen, when it’s been eight years and only Jongin’s mother talks to him every few months. He hasn’t spoken to his father at all, and today is the first day Jongin has seen his mother in years. At least, Chanyeol assumes it is, because Jongin’s never mentioned before that he has, and Chanyeol believes him.

He finishes up his shower and steps out, toweling himself dry and slipping into some sweats for now. They don’t have to head to the restaurant for a few hours, so Chanyeol thinks he can use this time to relax and not think about Jongin’s mother sitting in the kitchen. He calls out for their puppies and both Jjanggu and Potato run eagerly into the bedroom, joining Chanyeol on the bed after he shuts the door. He’s glad he can’t hear anything in here from down the hall because he’s not sure he wants to know what Jongin and his mother are talking about, even though at the same time he wonders if Jongin finally told her about the baby. He wonders what she said when she saw the ring on Jongin’s finger.

Chanyeol’s halfway through a level of Pokemon on Jongin’s DS when the door to the bedroom opens and Jongin walks in a little tentatively. Potato’s off the bed in a second to run up to him and Jongin smiles, petting the retriever's head even as his eyes are on Chanyeol.

“She called suddenly and asked if she could come over,” Jongin says when Chanyeol doesn’t say anything. Chanyeol loses his game and sighs, tossing the DS onto the bed. He finally looks up at Jongin and his brows are creased, nervous. Chanyeol pats the space next to him and Jongin lets out a sigh and walks over. “She might’ve asked first if you were home or not before coming,” he admits as he sits down.

Chanyeol runs a hand through his hair. That doesn’t surprise him. He nudges Jongin’s shoulder and says, “Don’t make that face. It’s okay that she came.”

Jongin looks at him warily as he absentmindedly pets Jjanggu who has curled up into his lap. “Really? Because you don’t look okay about it.”

The last thing Chanyeol wants to do is get irrationally upset over this, but the second he opens his mouth it’s like everything he’s been thinking about over the past hour that he’s been sitting here alone comes tumbling out. “Well, what do you want me to feel, Jongin?” he says, his voice sounding harsher than he means. “She hasn’t been a very good mother to you ever since we’ve been together and she _definitely_ hasn’t made any effort to know or like _me_ , so can you blame me for not wanting her around?”

Jongin turns quickly so he can give Chanyeol a glare, but he looks more stricken than angry. “She’s my mom!”

“And she’s always making you so sad!” Chanyeol retorts. “She didn’t even come to the wedding, Jongin!” He won’t forget how upset that had made Jongin, how much he’d worried over telling his parents in the first place, how he’d whispered to himself when he thought Chanyeol couldn’t hear that _they wouldn’t miss my own wedding, right?_ Except they _did_ , and Chanyeol knows it still gets Jongin down. He swallows thickly and asks, “Did you tell her about the baby?”

Jongin bites his lip and nods. His hands clutch into the bedsheets at his sides.

Impatient, Chanyeol prompts, “And?”

“She said...God, she said she didn’t think it was right,” Jongin says, his lower lip quivering, “She didn’t think it was right for us to do that at all.” The words make Chanyeol’s heart hurt more than he would ever admit; he’s not surprised, he really isn’t, but still, hearing this makes him feel awful. Upset for Jongin, who he knows must be hurting much worse than him, and anger towards Jongin’s mother for having the gall to come here and then say something like that. He’s not sure what sort of expression is on his face as he thinks this, but it must be horrific as Jongin suddenly grabs his hands and scrambles to add, “But she’s just. She doesn’t understand, Chanyeol. It’s not that she’s against it--”

“Except she _is_. That’s exactly what it sounds like!” Chanyeol tears his hand away and instantly regrets it as Jongin looks at him in shock. And even though he doesn’t want to upset Jongin, he can’t stand this, right now. The fact that Jongin still wants her around even after everything she’s said. He slides off the bed, needing to put some space between them, needing to think as he paces. Jongin stands, too, looking a little uncertain but also angry, like he doesn’t understand why Chanyeol is so pissed. “She’s never been supportive, Jongin,” he says finally, voicing the opinions he’s had for years and always held back. “And you still want her in your life despite that?”

“She’s my mom, she will always be my mom, Chanyeol, I can’t just--”

“If her opinion matters to you so much then why did you even--” The last of his words are cut short as something hard connects to his jaw and he goes stumbling back into the nearest wall. He just barely hearts the loud, upset barks from both Potato and Jjanggu over the ringing in his ears of surprise, his eyes flying open wide as he clutches his face and turns to Jongin who is nursing his fist to his chest. His eyes are shining with tears and he looks like Chanyeol just struck _him_ , even though Chanyeol’s the one now sporting a bruised lip.

“Don’t you _dare_ finish that sentence, Chanyeol,” he says in a wobbly voice that makes Chanyeol’s heart twist in his chest like someone’s wringing it out with their hands.

“Jongin,” he starts as he realizes just what he had been implying, and he can’t believe he’d even let himself _think_ that. “I’m--”

“No,” Jongin says, stepping back away from him and furiously rubbing at his eyes. “No. I just...I need some air.”

And he’s out of the room before Chanyeol can stop him, Jjanggu hot on his heels. In the utter silence of the apartment, he can hear Jongin’s light sniffles and it makes him ache. Chanyeol hesitates to go after him; he knows he should but he also thinks they might actually need some time apart right now, to clear their heads. Once he hears the front door open and shut, does he finally move, dropping his hand from his face to rub his lower back where he’d banged up against the wall when he’d stumbled. He heads to the kitchen to get some ice, and he sees that Jjanggu is gone, too, so he knows Jongin took him with.

As he presses the pack of ice to his mouth, he remembers with a start that it’s Jongin’s birthday and that he had those reservations at the restaurant. He remembers the tickets to the new action movie that Jongin wanted to see stuck in his wallet. He slumps down into a chair at the table and groans, feeling like a complete asshole for what he said. He should’ve just let it go. He shouldn’t have said anything.

Potato sits by his feet and whines up at him, giving him sad puppy eyes that makes Chanyeol smile a little. He pets him and whispers, “What do I do?” Unfortunately, Potato licking up Chanyeol’s palm doesn’t give him much of an answer, but it does, strangely, make him feel a tiny ounce better.

He expects Jongin to return within an hour, but after three pass by he grows incredibly worried. He’s canceled their dinner reservations and he’s sitting on the couch staring at his phone in his hand. He called twice, but it just went straight to voicemail and a sick feeling sinks into his stomach, his anger from before now a horrible coiling of worry. Is Jongin okay? Has he gotten into some sort of accident? Chanyeol makes himself nearly crazy with uncertainty, wishing now he had gone after Jongin when he’d tried to leave.

Around eight thirty that evening, he finally gets a message from Jongin, the vibration from his phone almost scaring the life out of him in the silent apartment.

_hey, don’t worry, i’m at sunjung-noona’s. i’m okay, i’m...not really mad anymore. but i think i’ll stay here until tomorrow._

Chanyeol breathes out a sigh of relief. He’s okay, he’s fine. He wishes, though, Jongin would just come home, so he could wrap him in his arms and tell him how sorry he is. Instead, he just types up a response.

_im so sorry jongin. i think i just ruined your birthday. :(_

Two minutes later, he gets another text from Jongin:

_you can make it up to me later :P_

Chanyeol already has plans for that. He sends back: _i love you. i’ll see you tomorrow._

He doesn’t get anything in reply the rest of the night but he doesn’t mind. He’s just glad Jongin is okay, that he doesn’t seem to be angry with him anymore. He goes to bed early, feeling incredibly discomfited without Jongin snuggled up next to him, and wills the night to go by as fast as it can.

-

Chanyeol wakes up the next morning feeling like he'd spent the last night drinking his weight in alcohol. As it was, he only had maybe two beers before going to bed, but he'd spent maybe three hours lying there and staring at the space where Jongin would sleep feeling so awful about everything he could barely stand it. And now, as the sun streams through the windows that he forgot to close the curtains on, and Jongin's space is _still_ empty, he feels a little like someone ran him over with a truck a couple of times.

He drags himself out of bed with the thought of maybe cleaning up the apartment and making some of Jongin's favorites for lunch as an apology, and Jongin usually forgives anything when there's chicken out on the table. He washes up in the bathroom and tugs on a clean pair of sweatpants and a white tank top and heads to the kitchen, only to stop in the living room when he finds Jongin sitting on the couch, their puppies on either side of him.

"Morning," Jongin says slowly when he sees him. There are dark circles under his eyes and his hair is a mess, and he’s wearing a pair of his black-rimmed glasses instead of contacts and Chanyeol hopes Sunjung dropped him off here because Jongin can barely see and he must’ve not taken extra contacts or anything with him when he left last night. He's still in the clothes Chanyeol saw him in yesterday, jean-clad legs pulled up to his chest and oversized hoodie covering his arms. Chanyeol’s hoodie, he realizes then as he swallows, wracking his brain for what to say, how to make what happened last night better. They don’t fight like that often. They usually only ever fight over stupid things like beating each other at Assassin’s Creed or when Chanyeol threw in a red shirt with all of Jongin’s whites in the laundry. They haven’t fought like this in years, and Chanyeol can’t even remember what their last argument was even about.

All he knows is that he’s so glad Jongin is back, that Jongin didn’t _leave_ , that Jongin is looking at him softly instead of with angry brows and the tight purse of his lips that he saw last night. Heart pounding, Chanyeol crosses the room and envelopes Jongin into a hug, practically tackling him into the couch and pulling a loud yelp from Jongin. Their puppies bark, Jjanggu sounding particularly annoyed that Chanyeol’s disrupting him, but Chanyeol couldn’t care less. He holds Jongin close and mutters, “I’m so sorry,” into the crook of his neck.

A puff of air blows against the side of his face as Jongin laughs and his arms come around to rest on his back. “I know,” Jongin says softly, “I am, too.”

“You didn’t even do anything wrong,” Chanyeol protests.

“Did you forget about that punch already?” Jongin laughs again, drawing away to look at him fondly. His gaze drops to the the purpling bruise against the corner of Chanyeol’s mouth and he leans forward to kiss it, just a slight press of his lips to the skin.

Chanyeol swallows thickly as he adjusts onto Jongin’s lap, still holding him as close as he can like he’s confirming the fact that he’s really there. “I deserved it,” he says when he finds his voice again, but Jongin shakes his head.

“No, you didn’t, Chanyeol,” he says. “You didn’t say anything I hadn’t thought a hundred times already, that I didn’t know you felt a long time ago, even if you hadn’t mentioned it until yesterday.” He sighs and pushes a hand through his hair. “I should’ve warned you or something, that she was gonna be there.”

“She’s your mom, Jongin,” Chanyeol says. “I really didn’t mind that she came over to see you. It was your birthday--god, it was your _birthday_ and I’m such a fucking dick--”

Jongin’s laughter eases away the crippling guilt, and his hands slide up from his back to cup Chanyeol’s face. “Yeah, you kinda are sometimes,” Jongin says with a wry smile, “but I still love you. And don’t worry about my birthday. Turning 30 is really no big deal.”

“Hey, turning 30 is like a milestone,” Chanyeol says seriously and Jongin snorts. “But I had plans. I wanted to celebrate. After the baby comes, we’re not gonna have as much time to do things like that anymore, you know?”

“You’re cute,” Jongin says, and Chanyeol is always amazed at how Jongin ends up blushing when he says things like that, instead of Chanyeol. “But, really, it’s okay. We can do something to celebrate later, if you really want. That’s not really important, anyway.”

He’s right. It’s not important at all compared to their argument and Chanyeol sighs. He fiddles with the zipper on Jongin’s hoodie, dragging it up and down for a moment before he says, “I know you won’t cut your parents out of your life, and I don’t expect you to. If I was in your shoes, I don’t know what I’d do, to be honest, it’s just that, I see how much they hurt you and I don’t want you to feel that way, ever.”

Jongin is biting into his lower lip as he stares at Chanyeol, his hands slipping into his hair, playing with the short strands at the back of his neck.

Chanyeol barrels on, “But if you can deal with that, then...then that’s fine. They’re your parents, and I know you’re happy if you get to talk to them, even if it’s just a short phone call. I don’t know how you do it.” He lets out a small laugh at that, which has Jongin grinning, too. “I’m not gonna pretend it makes me happy, though, because after what you told me your mom said about us having a baby, I just. I can’t accept that, Jongin. It makes me so angry.”

“You don’t think I was angry, too?” Jongin questions. “When she said that, it took so much to not yell back at her. I didn’t want to hear what she had to say. I hoped, I had really hoped that maybe the idea of a grandchild would warm her up to everything, but it didn’t.” His lips curve downward at the corners and he clenches his eyes shut tight for a few moments. Chanyeol rubs a hand soothingly down his back. “And, you were right, last night, that despite that, I do still want her in my life.” He takes a deep, shaky breath and opens his eyes, meets Chanyeol’s gaze. “She’ll always be my mom, even if she doesn’t accept me like this. Accept us.”

“Then,” Chanyeol starts, “then, maybe next time you _should_ warn me.” He says it lightly, and is glad that the sadness fades away from Jongin’s eyes, replaced a warm sort of gratitude that makes Chanyeol feel like everything will be okay.

“I think that’s fair,” Jongin agrees, pulling him in closer and kissing him gently on the mouth. “And I am sorry for punching you. Does it still hurt?”

Chanyeol shakes his head. “I’ll be okay,” he says. “I’ll be even better if you let me take you out tonight to make up for yesterday.”

A wide grin spreads across Jongin’s face and he nods. “All right,” he says happily and tugs Chanyeol in for another quick press of their lips.

-

“I can’t believe you guys are giving up all your free time to willingly have a baby,” Sehun says as he lounges out on the floor of the living room with a controller in his hand. He’s currently beating Chanyeol at their fifth game of Mario Kart and it’s mortifying.

“That’s because _you’re_ the baby of all our friends and you’ve never thought of taking care of anyone in your life,” Chanyeol retorts. “You just want people to take care of _you_.”

“I see nothing wrong with that,” Sehun sniffs. "It's just that I can't imagine you guys being parents at all," he adds after a moment.

"Probably because you've seen us at our worst," Jongin points out. He's lying across the couch with his feet in Chanyeol's lap and and his iPad in his hands. "What about _Jaesun_ for a boy?" he asks Chanyeol who hums thoughtfully and considers.

"That's not so bad," Chanyeol replies and Jongin huffs at his screen, continuing on his search for the perfect names. They've been throwing around ideas for a few days after they heard from Soojin that her second ultrasound the next week should confirm the baby's sex. Chanyeol, who hadn't ever thought of baby names before this, never realized how difficult choosing one could actually be.

"I think you should wait until the delivery to find out your baby's sex," Sehun says. "Isn't that more exciting?"

"We're already excited," Chanyeol says. "Besides, on the actual birth, Jongin will probably be too busy crying to even see the baby through his tears, so--" He groans loudly, dropping his controller to the floor as Jongin presses his foot down against his crotch.

"What was that _dear_?" he hisses, narrowing his eyes at Chanyeol over the top of his iPad.

Chanyeol just grumbles in response, pushing Jongin's feet away to retrieve his controller, but the damage is done and Sehun wins. He lets out a cheer and Jongin bumps his fist with his in congratulations and Chanyeol slumps back into the couch, feeling defeated in more ways than one.

Jongin flashes him a smirk, then turns his attention back to name-searching. "How about _Seohyun_ for a girl?"

"Nah, too common," Chanyeol dismisses easily. "I want our baby to stand out."

"Name your baby after me," Sehun says with an eager grin, turning around to look at them both.

"No, thanks," Jongin snorts and Chanyeol barks out a laugh that makes Sehun scowl. He turns away from them and starts up another game which has Chanyeol hastily turning back to the screen to pay attention. Jongin shifts on the couch, picking himself up and scooting over to sit beside him, close enough that their thighs brush but so Chanyeol still has enough room to play. “I like Jungsu for a boy,” he says after a few minutes. “But also Yejun and--”

“Are you only looking at boy names?” Chanyeol laughs. The way Jongin fidgets slightly beside him gives him his answer before Jongin even opens his mouth. “We could end up with a girl, you know.”

“I know, I know,” Jongin says and Chanyeol doesn’t need to look to know he’s pouting. “There’s just so many options, my head is starting to hurt looking at only names for boys.” Chanyeol hears him tapping at the screen of his iPad and then he’s reaching forward to set it onto the coffee table.“I guess we still have some time to think about it.”

“And once we find out the sex from Soojin next week, at least we can only focus on girl or boy names, too,” Chanyeol points out, slowly becoming distracted as Jongin shifts a little closer and rests his head on his shoulder. He tries to focus on the game but Jongin’s warmth slowly seeps into his veins and it doesn’t help that Jongin’s got a hand on his thigh now, thumb rubbing tiny circles along the side.

It only takes a few minutes before he gives up and lets Sehun win, tossing the controller to the floor and snaking an arm around Jongin’s shoulders to pull him in close. Sehun gives them a disgusted look as he snags the bag of chips off the coffee table and munches on a mouthful.

“You guys seriously look the least like parents, ever,” Sehun says, his words obscured by the crunch of chips.

“I think that title goes to you,” Jongin retorts. “And, besides, it’s not like anyone is ever _really_ ready to be a parent. Don’t you remember how horrified Junmyeon-hyung was when Daeho was born? And we all knew he’d make the perfect dad, since he practically takes care of everyone.”

Chanyeol grins, recalling the fond memory of Junmyeon nearly fainting in worry when he’d been waiting for Daeho to be born. He’d been too freaked out to actually go into the room with Eunji, and her screams of anger had been heard by probably everyone on that hospital floor. Chanyeol’s kind of glad neither he nor Jongin have to really go through any of that.

“I guess you make a good point,” Sehun agrees slowly. “But still. I always figured like Yixing-hyung and Yifan-hyung would end up with a kid before you two. Fuck I even thought Junmyeon-hyung would have a _second_ kid before you! It’s just...weird.” He stuffs another handful of chips into his mouth and stares at Chanyeol and Jongin for a few long moments, eyes narrowed in assessment. Chanyeol feels a little uncomfortable and he glances at Jongin who just looks back at his friend in amusement.

“We’re gonna be awesome parents, you just wait,” Jongin tells Sehun confidently. It makes Chanyeol’s heart warm, the assuredness of his voice, the wide grin on his face.

Sehun hums thoughtfully and says, “Chanyeol, maybe. You? Not so much.” High-pitched laughter fills the room as Sehun dodges Jongin’s terribly aimed couch pillow. He just grabs it and throws it back and Jongin lets out a disgruntled noise when it smacks him in the face even as he attempts to block it. “I hope you guys have a girl because you’ll both be so lost with what to do,” Sehun says.

“You have such little faith,” Chanyeol says with a shake of his head. “I bet you’re gonna be excited when the baby is born, buying it all these stupid presents.”

Sehun doesn’t refute it, just smiles. “I still think you guys are crazy,” he says finally.

“Hmm, maybe,” Jongin says, pressing in closer to Chanyeol’s side and glancing up at him quickly. He smiles, too, and Chanyeol squeezes his shoulders. “But that’s okay.”

Chanyeol kisses Jongin’s nose and Sehun grumbles, “Gross!” before tossing a controller at the two of them.

-

Chanyeol grabs the cups of coffee from the barista, thanking her with a kind smile, and heads back to the small table in the corner of the shop where Jongin sits. He's still staring at the new sonogram they had gotten from Soojin not even an hour ago, his lower lip tucked into his mouth.

Chanyeol settles into his seat across from him, slides Jongin's latte over. Jongin doesn't look up. "Are you upset?" he asks after a few moments of silence.

That reaches Jongin's ears, his head snapping up to stare at Chanyeol incredulously. "What? No!" he exclaims, profusely shaking his head. It's the first thing Jongin has managed to say since they left, too choked up, too enraptured by the photo to really even look at Chanyeol or anyone else. He probably would've walked into traffic on their way here if Chanyeol hadn't been watching him so closely.

"I just know how much you wanted--"

"It doesn't matter," Jongin says, shaking his head again. He's looking back at the photo, his expression so soft. "It never _really_ mattered. I'm just. We're having a _girl_ , Chanyeol. A girl." He lets out a puff of laughter, of disbelief, and reaches for his cup, taking a drink as he continues to stare at the photo. He yelps suddenly, almost spilling his coffee in his haste to set it down and makes a face, clearly having burned his tongue.

Chanyeol snickers at him, which earns him a short glare. "A girl," Chanyeol says quietly, aware of all the people in the shop. "Sehun was right," he laughs, "what are we going to do with a girl?"

Jongin doesn't answer, just smiles down at the photo, traces his fingers across the slightly more defined features of their baby. It no longer looks like a blob but an actual human being and Chanyeol is having a hard time believing there's only a few months left. A few months until he can hold his baby girl in his arms and rock her to sleep. A few months until he can kiss her little head in the morning before work, until singing her lullabies and feeling her tiny fingers in his hand and trying to make sure she doesn’t cry. A few months until their little family is complete.

The thought makes him so excited, he can’t stop the grin forming on his face as he goes over it all in his head. He sips at his coffee and glances back at Jongin who is still staring at the sonogram like it’s magic and he doesn’t understand it. It’s adorable, Chanyeol thinks, and he knows that as soon as they get home, Jongin is going to pin it to the fridge and probably cry about it for an hour.

They sit in silence for awhile, warming up from the February cold and simply basking in the knowledge that they’re having a girl. Chanyeol doesn’t mind the quiet, or the fact that Jongin is ignoring him in favor of a photo. He just gazes out the window and watches as cars drive past, headlights glaring against the window glass. It’s started snowing sometime after he got here, just a light sprinkling of beautiful white across the streets and it’s calming, somehow, to Chanyeol whose mind is reeling with so much excitement and anxiety. He just watches as it gets more and more crowded as the work hours end and people start to head home. He smiles around the rim of his cup as a mother ushers her two kids carefully down the icy sidewalk. In a few years time, that will be him.

“What are you thinking about?” Jongin’s voice suddenly cuts through his thoughts and Chanyeol turns, finds Jongin looking at him curiously.

“The future,” he says vaguely and laughs when Jongin scoffs, his brows scrunching up cutely. “Are you ready to go?”

Jongin nods, carefully puts the photo back into its little envelope and then into the inside pocket of his blue peacoat. Chanyeol tosses their cups away and leads the way out of the shop, the chilly air instantly making him shiver. He rubs his hands together and shoves them into his pockets as Jongin wraps his scarf around his neck, a thick red one Yixing once forgot at their apartment but let Jongin keep. It covers up half his face and he looks so cute that Chanyeol wishes he could wrap an arm around him and pull him close.

Instead he just lightly bumps Jongin’s shoulder with his and grins at him when Jongin casts him a slight glare. “You’re really not disappointed?” he asks.

"Maybe a little," Jongin admits, his eyes curving a little as he undoubtedly smiles; Chanyeol can't see behind the scarf. "I've always wanted a son, but that doesn't mean I'll love our daughter any less."

"What about your soccer dreams?" Chanyeol laughs, nudging Jongin lightly with an elbow.

Jongin nudges him back a little harder than necessary and Chanyeol loses his footing, almost tumbles straight off the sidewalk, but Jongin grabs his elbow quickly, reels him back in. "Sorry," he says, fingers tightening into his arm for a second as worry flashes through his eyes before he lets go. Chanyeol just shakes his head, ruffles Jongin's hair and laughs when he swats his hand away. "My soccer dreams can still happen," he huffs, and it takes Chanyeol a second to remember what they were talking about. "I'll take our daughter to a game."

"A daughter is going to be so hard, Jongin," Chanyeol says, except he sounds more like a whiny child. "All kids are hard, but a girl?"

"Are you scared?" Jongin asks in a teasing voice, his eyes bright in the growing darkness of the streets. Chanyeol isn't really sure how to answer him, though, licking his lips slowly as he shrugs and thinks. Lately he's felt more excited than scared. He's about to say so, when Jongin whispers, "I am. I'm terrified."

That's really the first time Jongin has admitted such a thing out loud, and Chanyeol almost stops walking in the middle of the sidewalk to look at him in surprise. Jongin just grabs his sleeve and tugs him along, looking straight ahead. His cheeks are a little pink but Chanyeol's unsure if that's from the cold or from embarrassment.

"It's not that I'm, you know, regretting anything," Jongin says when Chanyeol doesn't speak. "But it's even more real now, even more than when we got that first sonogram. You even said last time that Soojin didn't even look like she was pregnant but when we saw her today--she--" He lets out a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "It was obvious she was. And now it's not just some sexless blob, it's a _girl_. We're having a baby girl. In, what? Five months?" He laughs incredulously, glancing up at Chanyeol. "It's unreal."

"Is that what you've been thinking about this whole time?" Chanyeol asks quietly. "I was wondering if something was wrong."

Jongin shakes his head. "Nothing's wrong," he says. "I'm just...worrying. What if something goes wrong when we're so close? What if we're not the best parents for her? What if _we_ do something wrong and--"

"Hey, hey," Chanyeol says soothingly. He winds an arm around Jongin's shoulders and squeezes him into his side. They're turning down the street toward their apartment, just another block away and it's much emptier here that he doesn't mind the closeness. "You heard Soojin. The baby is doing really well. Soojin is taking care of her wonderfully, and everything is going right. The baby will be fine. Nothing is going to go wrong."

"You can't know that for sure--"

"Yes, I can," Chanyeol says seriously, "I'm psychic."

Jongin snorts and shoves at him. Chanyeol just laughs as he stumbles away, holds his hands up before him to shield himself, but Jongin still manages to punch him weakly in the chest. "You're ridiculous," he mutters, shaking his head. He picks up his speed and rushes the last few feet to the doors to their apartment, pulling out his keycard to let them in.

Warmth fills Chanyeol's veins as they slip into the elevator and Jongin unwraps the scarf from around his neck. He catches the slight downward pull of his lips and he tugs Jongin close by the collar of his coat. Jongin's eyes widen for a second before Chanyeol kisses him lightly on the mouth, then again atop his head, letting the collar go to instead tuck his hand behind Jongin's neck and pull him into his chest. Jongin fits into him perfectly, sighing against him as Chanyeol notches his chin above his head.

"Don't worry so much," he says. "You're going to be a great dad, I know it. And even if you aren't, even if neither of us know what the fuck we're doing, we'll get through it. We will. Because we want this, right? And we want to make it work."

Jongin's arms wind around his waist and he squeezes him silently. The elevator dings as it reaches their floor and Jongin lets go first, turning swiftly around to head out the doors, not looking at him. Chanyeol thinks he might be crying, which just has him smiling a bit to himself as he follows Jongin down the hall. He's right, catching Jongin's face as they unbundle themselves, Jongin throwing his coat onto the couch as he passes to the kitchen.

"Jongin," Chanyeol says softly. Jongin is pinning the sonogram to the fridge with a strawberry magnet, right next to the first one. Jongin doesn't say anything, just stares at the photo, so Chanyeol walks up behind him and pulls him into his arms, pressing his chest to Jongin’s back. "Has Junmyeon's worrying rubbed off on you or something?"

An elbow gently rams into his stomach and Chanyeol feigns pain, but Jongin doesn't bite. Instead he just leans more comfortably back against him and says, "I can't help it."

"We're having a girl," Chanyeol says. "Our own daughter. We should celebrate, not worry about her before she's even here." He kisses the side of Jongin's neck. "If anything, we should worry about giving her a name."

Jongin groans. "Oh god, don't say that. I don't want to look at another list of baby names for at least a month."

Laughing, Chanyeol forcibly turns Jongin around so he's facing him and then says again, "Everything is going to be fine, okay? Please stop looking so sad."

"I'm not sad," Jongin says quickly. He loops his hands around Chanyeol's neck and draws him down until their lips are ghosting against each other. "I'm really, really happy. Fucking scared out of my mind, but happy." He kisses him then, his lips slowly widening into a grin until he pulls away with a laugh. "And you're right, I shouldn't worry so much just yet."

Chanyeol hums, nodding. "I'm always right," he says, smirking, and Jongin just rolls his eyes and silences him with a kiss.

-

The call comes one Tuesday evening in early July just as Chanyeol is packing up after his last class, startling him so much that he almost drops his stacks of papers to the ground. “Right now?” he exclaims into the phone. “Oh my god, okay, okay, Soojin, we’ll be right there. You just, do whatever you need to, I-I’ll call Jongin and we’ll be right there.”

“Relax, Chanyeol,” Soojin says with a slightly chuckle, “you’re not the one going in the middle of labor. Don’t rush too much, there’s still probably a few hours before delivery, okay?”

Chanyeol breathes deeply a few times, pausing in gathering up his things and just trying to calm down. “Right, right. Okay. I’ll talk to you soon. Call me if something happens, please.”

Soojin agrees and hangs up, and Chanyeol drops his phone onto his desk and braces himself against the ledge, taking a couple of more deep breaths. "Oh god," he mutters, running a hand through his hair and spinning around in a circle. "Oh god, oh god." He frantically shoves his things into his bag and grabs his phone, calling Jongin on his way out. He knows Jongin's at work and he hopes beyond hope he has his phone with him or is able to check it sooner than later.

He calls three times until Jongin finally picks up, sounding out of breath and surprised, "What's up, Chanyeol? You rarely ever call me while I'm at work."

"The baby's coming," Chanyeol says quickly as he gets into his car, tossing his bag into the backseat and cringing when the buckle pops and everything spills out onto the floor.

"What?!" Jongin exclaims so loudly that Chanyeol has to pull the phone away from his ear. "Right now? Did Soojin call you?"

"Yes, yes," Chanyeol says. "I'm leaving the university right now. Are you able to meet me there?"

"I-I'm fuck, we're still in the middle of a routine, I don't know if I can just leave. Fuck, fuck, fuck," Jongin rants, and Chanyeol feels a little sick to his stomach.

"Are you sure you can't--"

"I don't know, I don't know. You--just, you go, okay? I'll be there as soon as I can," Jongin says.

Chanyeol clenches his eyes shut tight and swallows thickly. "Okay, fine," he says, "just-just try your best."

He hangs up and tosses his phone onto the passenger's seat and scrubs at his face with his hands. He does his best to shake away all his nerves and then heads out onto the street to the hospital, trying not to think about Jongin not making it there in time. He will. He has to. There is no way Chanyeol can go through this alone.

Soojin is still in labor when Chanyeol arrives, and a nurse kindly shows him to an empty waiting room. After a few minutes of sitting around and staring at his phone nervously, he can't stand it, instead pacing the length of the room anxiously. His mind won't sit still; he can't believe he's finally here, waiting for his baby to be more. In a few hours, maybe, he will be able to hold her in his arms and take her home. The magnitude of it is making his heart race and he really does feel like he might be sick.

He itches to call Jongin again and find out where he is, if he's on his way or if he won't be able to make it, but just the idea of Jongin not being there makes him want to throw up. Instead he finally makes himself stop pacing, growing a little dizzy from the constant movement, and collapses into a chair in the corner, his head in his hands.

"Chanyeol!" Jongin's voice suddenly calls out, and Chanyeol jerks up into alertness quickly, eyes wide and searching. He finds Jongin just down the hall, rushing toward him in his usual black sweats and a loose t-shirt, his small gym bag slung over a shoulder; he really must have just run straight from the studio here. Chanyeol jumps to his feet and Jongin practically collides into him, eyes blazen. He's shaking a bit as Chanyeol hugs him quickly before pulling back. "How's it going? Have you heard anything?"

Chanyeol shakes his head. "No, no, I've just been waiting," he says. "I mean, a nurse said everything is going well, but I don't think the baby is quite there yet."

Jongin visibly sighs, his shoulders slumping as he steps away and backs up onto a chair, dumping his bag onto the floor. "Thank god," he says, "I thought I'd miss it."

"I might have never forgiven you if you had," Chanyeol laughs, only half-serious. Jongin smacks him in the chest, but a grin is tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"I might have never forgiven myself, too," he admits, and Chanyeol reaches out to squeeze his thigh gently.

With Jongin here, half of the anxiety bubbling throughout Chanyeol's veins fades away. He feels like he can finally breathe now, his mind much clearer as he just concentrates on their baby, on the _excitement_ about it instead of the worry. These past few weeks as the date has gotten closer and closer, Jongin's neverending worry has rubbed off on him and Chanyeol doesn't think he'll ever be free of it until he's got his baby girl in his hands and the confirmation from the doctors that she is perfectly healthy.

Soon, he thinks, closing his eyes tightly and trying desperately not to let the emotions overflow, so soon.

They wait maybe an hour before a nurse stops by to let them know the actual delivery has begun, that it really shouldn't be much longer until the baby crowns. Jongin is clutching onto Chanyeol's arm as she talks, digging his fingernails so hard into his skin Chanyeol's pretty sure it will bruise, but in his current state, he barely feels it. Chanyeol decides to send out a few messages to his mom and Yura and Jongin's sisters about the baby as Jongin takes to tapping his feet against the floor to some rhythm in his head.

Then finally, finally a nurse runs over with a bright smile on her face and Chanyeol nudges Jongin repeatedly in the sides as he gets to his feet. “What--” Jongin starts with a glare, but then he seems to notice the nurse, too, and he’s standing up quickly, grabbing Chanyeol’s arm again tightly.

The nurse’s smile widens as she says, "The baby is here, she's doing just fine." And with that, all the worry, all the tension, it just fades straight out of Chanyeol’s body, almost a bit too fast because he suddenly feels lightheaded, like all that uncertainty was keeping him together and now--His knees weak, he almost collapses, but Jongin rushes to slide an arm around him, drawing him up steadily and letting him lean into him to keep from fainting.

“Are you okay?” he asks, eyes concerned.

Chanyeol’s not entirely sure, but he just nods. "I'm fine," he says, and turns back to the nurse. "S-She's okay?"

The nurse nods. "She's wonderful, and Soojin is doing just great, too. We're cleaning them both up and moving Soojin to another room and we'll come get you in a bit."

“Thank you,” Jongin says with a small bow, and once she leaves, he ushers Chanyeol back to his seat and peers into his face. “Are you really okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” he says, waving Jongin off. “I’m just, freaking out suddenly. She’s here, Jongin, she’s finally here.”

“I know,” Jongin replies softly, and Chanyeol can tell he’s just minutes away from crying. He’s going to, the second he walks into that room and sees his daughter. Chanyeol is pretty sure right now that he might be crying himself, too.

“Don’t let me faint while I’m holding her, okay?” he says and Jongin chuckles, presses a quick kiss to his forehead.

When they're finally allowed into the room, Chanyeol is a bundle of nervousness. Soojin is resting on the one bed and opens her mouth to greet them excitedly but doesn't even get the chance before Jongin is thanking her profusely, bowing again and again.

"Oh boys, stop," she says, waving her hands at them when Chanyeol joins Jongin in his thanks. Shes smiling at them warmly, that same smile that has calmed Chanyeol down many times throughout the process and it doesn't fail now. He lets out a puff of air and slides his hand down Jongin's arm until their hands link together.

A sudden knock at the door has them jumping, and Chanyeol's heart leaps into his throat when he turns and finds his baby girl in the arms of one of the nurses. Beside him, Jongin grips his hand even tighter, squeezing so hard that it almost feels like the blood to his fingers has been cut off. He glances at Jongin and sure enough, he’s crying, covering half his face with his other hand as tears brim along his eyes and he sniffles. He doesn’t even turn to Chanyeol, his gaze trained on their daughter as the nurse steps into the room with a kind smile and stops right in front of Chanyeol.

“Would you like to hold her?” she asks and Chanyeol opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He nods, quickly, instead, and Jongin releases his hand so Chanyeol can raise his arms. The nurse carefully directs him on how to hold the baby’s head and cradle her in against his chest and Chanyeol feels like he’s holding something made out of glass. But when he finally looks down at his daughter, really _looks_ at her, his heart just melts.

She’s beautiful. He knew she would be, but she’s even more beautiful than he could have ever imagined. Wrapped up in a soft pink blanket and a matching pink cap, she has soft pale skin and an adorable little nose and--

“Oh god, I think she has your ears,” Jongin cries as he walks around to stand in front of Chanyeol and peer down at their daughter.

Chanyeol lets out a laugh that sounds more like a sob, and he didn’t even realize he was crying, too, but suddenly there’s tears swimming around in his vision and this thickness in his throat and he doesn’t feel like he can even speak, too in awe of the beautiful girl, _his_ beautiful girl, in his arms.

“Hello, Misun,” he manages to say eventually, as Jongin’s sobs get a little louder and he reaches a finger out to touch their tiny hands. “Hello, Misun, I’m your daddy--oh god,” he laughs incredulously, glances up to meet Jongin’s watery eyes as his heart threatens to burst out of his chest. He’s overwhelmed, he doesn’t think he’s ever felt anything quite like this before. He sucks in a shaky breath that turns into another laugh of disbelief, and then Jongin is there, curling a hand around the back of his neck and leaning up to kiss the corner of his mouth. It’s comforting, it’s just what he needs, and he looks back down at his daughter as Jongin leans his head against his shoulder and cries, and says, “I’m so happy you’re finally here.”

-

The bed creaks loudly as Jongin climbs upon it, up onto Chanyeol too, flopping down against his chest with a low exhale.

"She's finally asleep," he murmurs into Chanyeol's neck and Chanyeol wraps his arms around his waist. It's about two in the morning and Misun has been crying on and off since midnight. "But I'm sure she's gonna wake up in five minutes."

"Don't say that or she really will," Chanyeol groans, blinking his eyes open to the darkness of their bedroom and glanced at Jongin's face. "Let's try to sleep as much as we can before she--"

A sharp cry pierces through the silence of their apartment and Jongin slumps unhappily against him with a whine. "Your turn," he says, rolling off of Chanyeol and onto his side of the bed. Misun's crying gets louder and Chanyeol rubs at his face before he climbs out of bed. He passes by Jjanggu and Potato who have both perked up from the noises in their little doggie beds by the window and says, “Stay,” to make sure they don’t follow him. They whine but curl back down to sleep, and Chanyeol sighs as he heads into the room across the hall.

Misun is lying in the cute crib that his parents had gotten for her, snug in a little floral onesie, her face scrunched up in an unhappy cry. Chanyeol shushes her soothingly as he picks her up and holds her against him, slowly rocking her side to side. "Go to sleep sweet Misun," he says as calmly as he can manage. It's been a week since they brought her home, and Chanyeol realized within the first few hours that he really had no idea what he was getting himself into. The moments when Misun is not crying are wonderful; she's really the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and Chanyeol loves nothing more than being able to lie with her and play with her, to see if she will smile at him, stare at him with her pretty little eyes. But when she's crying like this, it's so difficult to calm her down and this past week has been a complete test. His mother laughed at him when he'd called her the second night, frustrated and near tears because Misun wouldn't stop wailing, no matter how he and Jongin tried to pacify her.

Chanyeol settles down into the chair beside the crib that Jongin had pulled in from the dining table the first night and holds Misun steady in an arm. He whispers softly to her, just sounds of nonsense as the brushes her tiny wisps of black hair back from her face. "Come on Misun, please sleep," he says, "don't you want your daddy to sleep, too?"

Misun just hiccups out a cry, her little hands fisting into the air like she's trying to aim a punch at him. Chanyeol lets out a deep sigh and gently rocks her again. "I know you're not hungry, and Jongin just changed you, so come on, go to sleep, _please_?"

"I don't think that will work," Jongin says, an amused lilt to his voice. Chanyeol turns to find him leaning against the doorway with a sleepy smile.

"You should be sleeping, too, Jongin," he chides, but Jongin shakes his head.

"I can't, not when she's--" He makes an airy gesture toward Misun and sighs, drops his hand. "Do you want some tea?"

"We'll be up all night if we have any of that right now."

"I think we will be regardless," Jongin points out with a small laugh. "I'll go put on the kettle. You should try giving her the pacifier. She kept rejecting it earlier, but."

"I'll try," Chanyeol says, already on his feet again and heading for the small dresser they'd bought and set up on the far side of the room. He grabs the pacifier from the top and says, "Here, Misun-ah, can you at least use this?"

To his surprise, Misun allows him to slide the pacifier into her mouth, her cries stopping and the tension in her tiny body fading away as she instantly relaxes. Chanyeol exhales deeply in relief and returns to the chair to rest, holding Misun in his arms. He can hear Jongin tinkering around in the kitchen and he listens to that to help himself stay as awake as he possibly can.

It isn’t long before Jongin returns, two steaming mugs of tea in his hands. He sets them down onto the dresser and then walks over to Chanyeol, holding his arms out for Misun. She’s quieted down completely now, eyes closed and dark eyelashes stark against her cheeks. Chanyeol hands her over and she whines a little around her pacifier, and they both pause, watching her closely until she settles down against Jongin’s chest. Jongin sighs and Chanyeol pushes a hand through his hair as he gets out of the chair, retrieves his mug and takes a very soothing sip.

He watches as Jongin gently sways Misun to sleep, murmuring soothing noises beneath his breath. A warm sort of fondness spreads throughout Chanyeol’s chest, even at two in the morning when he’s been living off of maybe eight hours of sleep total this whole week, he really wouldn’t change anything about this moment at all. He smiles around the rim of his mug and just enjoys seeing his two favorite people together like this; Jongin with his messy bed hair, clad in just a pair of old sweats, and Misun, wrapped up cutely in his arms, finally asleep.

Jongin sets her carefully back into the crib and eases her pacifier out of her mouth. He waits there, a few minutes to make sure she doesn’t wake up again, and thankfully she doesn’t. Chanyeol sighs, whispers, “Come on,” and takes Jongin’s mug for him, heading for the couch. He’s so tired but he doesn’t think he will be able to fall asleep, and the tea is doing a really good job of calming him down. Maybe by the time he finishes drinking, he’ll be able to sleep properly, as long as Misun doesn’t wake up again.

Jongin joins him on the couch a few minutes later, placing the baby monitor from their bedroom onto the coffee table and then taking his own mug of tea. He curls up against Chanyeol’s left side, shuddering a little as Chanyeol wraps an arm around him and rubs his hand down his bare arm.

“Are you cold?” he asks quietly, and Jongin shakes his head, just snuggles in a little closer.

“I’m fine,” he replies. “You’re warm.”

Chanyeol smiles and squeezes him gently and Jongin rests his head onto Chanyeol’s shoulder, the heat of his breath sinking through the fabric of Chanyeol’s light shirt and into his veins. Despite the sleep-deprivation and the frantic realization of not knowing how to change a diaper or warm up baby formula, despite the frustrated tears the first night when Misun cried for hours and they didn’t know what to do, Chanyeol finds comfort right now in the fact that he’s not going through any of this alone. Jongin is right here beside him, solid and warm and just as tired as he is. Together he thinks they will be able get through this.

“I love you,” Chanyeol says as he turns toward Jongin. He laughs when he realizes Jongin has fallen asleep, face smooth and soft in his slumber and Chanyeol shakes his head at him lightly, reaches over to tug his mug out of his hand and return it to the coffee table with his own. He draws Jongin a little closer and rests his head atop Jongin’s, his eyes fluttering shut instantaneously as sleep starts to claim him. They will both probably be up in a few hours when Misun undoubtedly cries again, but for now, Chanyeol will enjoy what he can get, and this right now is more than enough.

-

“It’s like a war zone in here,” Baekhyun comments with an amused laugh as he steps over a pile of clothes on the floor and almost trips on one of Misun’s toys.

"I'm sorry it's such a mess," Chanyeol says from the kitchen as he stirs a little bit of some disgusting smelling baby food into a small bowl with a tiny spoon. "Just shove everything out of the way if you have to."

"It's no big deal," Baekhyun says and Chanyeol catches him sliding to the floor next to the little nest that he's made full of blankets and pillows for Misun. "Hey little girl," Baekhyun coos in a rather gross voice, "it's your uncle Baek, oh no don't cry--"

Chanyeol laughs as he puts away the jar of baby food and heads over to join them, setting the bowl onto the coffee table so he can pick Misun up easily. Her face is a little scrunched up but she relaxes in his arms. "Was the icky Baekhyun scaring you?" he asks her and Baekhyun shoots him a glare. Chanyeol just grins.

"She's gonna love me when she's older," he declares. "Everyone loves me."

"That's what you think," Chanyeol replies and he gets a pinch to his thigh for his trouble. "Don't abuse me around my daughter!" he exclaims, drawing Misun into his chest like Baekhyun hurt her, too. Baekhyun shakes his head, bemused, and grabs the bowl, scooping up a bit of the mushy food and raising it to Misun's mouth.

Misun gurgles unhappily as Baekhyun feeds her, face twisting up and mouth opening into a prelude to a wail, but Chanyeol quickly shushes her. Baekhyun makes stupid airplane noises as he feeds her and Chanyeol wants to tell him that she's probably a little too young to appreciate any of that but Baekhyun looks like he's having fun so he stays silent about it. Jongin does the same too, whenever he feeds her, making ridiculous sounds in an attempt to keep her calm. Chanyeol guesses it must work on some level because she doesn't fuss too much when he does it, eating up the baby mush and thankfully not spitting it out two seconds later.

"So what's it like?" Baekhyun asks him. "Being a dad?"

"It's insane," Chanyeol says, honestly. "I mean, just look at our apartment. I might have managed to take a few weeks off from work to stay home with Misun, but even with that extra time, there's stuff everywhere. I don't think we've done laundry in two weeks."

"Gross, Chanyeol," Baekhyun says, wrinkling his nose. "Some things you just keep to yourself."

"If you ever have kids, you'll understand," Chanyeol says. "We knew the first few years were going to be tough, but there is no way you can ever be prepared for how it really is." As Baekhyun feeds Misun the last of her meal, Chanyeol wipes her mouth up with a little bib that has a bunch of cartoon puppies across the front Jongin bought for her before she was born. Misun whines a little, turning her head away as he cleans her. He lets her rest for awhile before he tries to burp her. The last time he'd done it too soon and she'd thrown up all over his shoulder.

"It seems like you're doing pretty well with her though," Baekhyun admits, leaning back on his hands and watching Chanyeol with Misun. His gaze is sincere and Chanyeol appreciates his comment more than he could ever really say. Baekhyun wouldn't let him live it down if he admitted it, either. "Who does she like better?"

"Jongin complains that it's me," Chanyeol laughs, "but I'm with her all the time, since he couldn't take off too much time because of work." He sighs, shakes his head lightly to push that thought away. It hadn't been a very good conversation, even though he knew Jongin couldn't do much about it. He comes home as soon as he can though, and is thankfully around on the weekends, giving Chanyeol a chance to rest as Jongin takes care of Misun. "But I think she notices that he's gone, and she likes it when he's around to hold her."

"He's working right now, too?" Baekhyun asks.

Chanyeol nods, pursing his lips together tightly. "He should be back soon though," he says after a moment.

"What're you gonna do when you have to go back to work?"

"My mom said she'll look after Misun," Chanyeol says. "We never even had to ask her, she told us about it like it was already decided." He chuckles, raises Misun up carefully against his shoulder and rubs her back. "Jongin's sisters offered to help out whenever they could, too. Thankfully we don't have to worry too much about that."

Baekhyun hums in agreement and laughs when Misun lets out a tiny burp. "She's really adorable, Chanyeol," he says. "She looks like you."

"Which means she's gonna be gorgeous as she gets older," he says proudly, lifting Misun up into the air and grinning widely as she kicks her feet. He lowers her down to his shoulder again and continues rubbing her back. "Of course, she's gorgeous _now_ but, in a few years, she'll be stealing hearts left and right."

Baekhyun smirks. "What are you going to do when she's old enough to date?"

The sudden realization hits Chanyeol like a ton of bricks and he's pretty sure he's glowering just at the thought. "I'll lock her in her room," he says seriously which has Baekhyun bursting out in laughter.

"Yeah, we'll see if she likes you then," he says, patting Chanyeol's knee. Chanyeol just frowns, the thought now embedding itself into his head. He'd never looked quite that far into the future before, but now he's suddenly worried.

"Now I see why Jongin wanted a boy," Chanyeol mumbles as Baekhyun shakes his head and reaches out to take Misun from him.

"It's okay, Misun," he whispers to her conspiratorily. "I'll save you from your crazy daddy."

"Or not," Chanyeol snickers when Misun starts to cry and Baekhyun looks half-alarmed and half-wounded, pouting as Chanyeol takes his daughter away and rocks her against his chest. "Guess not _everyone_ loves you," he taunts and Baekhyun pinches his thigh again, twisting at the flesh until Chanyeol yelps so loudly Misun cries even more.

-

When Chanyeol has to head back into work, he’s a little surprised by how hard it is to leave Misun with his mom. It doesn’t help that Misun cries as he hands her over and he just wants to pull her back and call in sick, maybe have his T.A. take over for the day but his mother shoos him out the door, promising him everything will be fine and that she’ll call if something happens.

Chanyeol is definitely distracted everyday for that first week back at work. He checks his phone every chance he can to make sure he didn’t miss a call, and he constantly aches to have Misun in his arms to hold her and play with her. It’s not that he thinks his mom can’t take care of her, not at all, it’s just that he really misses her. He wasn’t really expecting this overwhelming longing.

But even though he’s happy every time he picks Misun up and returns home, the feeling lasts as long as he realizes he’s alone at home. The girl group that Jongin has been working with the past year has finally set a debut date for the upcoming fall and Jongin has been at the studio choreographing almost nonstop. Even when he’s at home and Minsun is either asleep or with Chanyeol, he’s pushed aside the coffee table and danced out a routine while listening to the song on his phone so as to not disrupt Misun. And Chanyeol knows how busy he is, he sees it in his tense shoulders and the dark circles under his eyes. He sees it in the way he falls asleep too quickly when he comes home and is difficult to wake up in the middle of the night when Misun cries.

Chanyeol doesn’t want to push at him, but it’s becoming much more difficult dealing with a Jongin who is barely there now that Chanyeol is back to work. Because now he comes home after a long day feeling exhausted, but there’s Minsun to worry about. To feed her and change her and play with her when she wants attention and to rock her to sleep when she finally is tired. And then to do that all over again each day. It’s not to say that Jongin doesn’t take care of her when he is around, but Chanyeol starts to get a little crankier every morning that he has to wake up and make sure Misun is fed and ready so he can drop her off and not be late for work, too. And he grows a little more frustrated each night that he comes home to an empty apartment and has to eat dinner on his own and grade homework assignments in between trying to put Minsun to bed.

He doesn’t really tell anyone about any of this though, even if he gets comments every morning from his mother and Kyungsoo, though Kyungsoo’s are much less worrying and more sarcastic. They can probably see the irritation in the lines on his face and the tiredness in his eyes, but he just tells them he’s fine, even though he’s not. Not by a long shot.

And it’s probably from that, all the frustration that has coiled inside of him tighter and tighter as the days go on, until it’s too much and it snaps, until he snaps. He doesn’t expect to come home to find Jongin’s sneakers in the doorway or him gym bag in the hall, and he’s not as pleased about it as he should be. It's the first time in a month that Jongin has been home before him and he _should_ he happy but instead he feels a little sick. He steps out of his shoes and drops his bag next to Jongin's, heading into the apartment and toward Misun's room where he can hear Jongin's soft voice.

The door is open and he stops there, watches as Jongin sits crosslegged on the floor with Misun in an arm and a bottle in his hand, holding it between her mouth. He's murmuring soothingly at her and Chanyeol's heart aches.

"Hey," he says, stepping into the room and startling Jongin. He jumps a bit and it upsets Misun, tearing her mouth away from the bottle to scream.

"Oh no," Jongin says, setting the bottle aside to carefully rock her. He smoothes back her hair and says, "It's okay, daddy's here," but it only seems to make her cry harder. He casts Chanyeol a desperate look and Chanyeol walks over to take her from him, holding her up against his shoulder and patting her.

Jongin blows out a puff of air that makes his bangs flutter against his forehead. Misun is already calming down and Jongin stares at her with a troubled expression. "She really likes you better."

"No, she just prefers to be comforted this way," he tells Jongin, and he's surprised at how harsh his voice sounds, "you would know that if you were around."

Jongin reels back like he's been struck, eyes widening in surprise. "What is that supposed to mean?" he asks, sounding surprisingly calm.

"Exactly like it sounds, Jongin," Chanyeol replies. He licks his lips as Jongin stares at him wirelessly and tendrils of guilt slink around in the pit of his stomach. That's easy to push aside though, because now that he's said it, he doesn't think he can stop. "I'm just saying, Jongin, you're not exactly around all that much these days and--"

"You _know_ that's because of work," Jongin exclaims, "it's not like I wouldn't be here if I could."

"You come home late everyday, every _day_ , Jongin. And then half the time you're here, you're sleeping!" Chanyeol retorts, but he's very much aware of Misun in his arms and tries to keep his voice down so as to not startle her. "I get that you're tired, but god, so am I! I'm the one who drops her off every morning and picks her up at night, and I'm the one who has been getting out of bed at some godforsaken time to calm her down while _you_ keep on sleeping--"

"Chanyeol, stop," Jongin pleads. He's wringing his hands in front of him and he looks terribly upset but Chanyeol is upset, too. He has been upset for a month and there's too much frustration wound up inside of him that he can't just let it go, no matter how much he knows he should listen to Jongin and keep his mouth shut.

"It's been really hard lately, having to do so much of this by myself," Chanyeol says, "and I don't know what to do when I can't seem to count on you to help when you're _never here_."

He doesn't know when he started yelling, but the last of his words seem to echo in the small room and it's enough to get Misun wailing. That makes the guilt Chanyeol tried to ignore flare up once again, too unpleasant to push away, and he feels like maybe someone has just punched him in the gut. He pulls Misun down from his shoulder to murmur quietly at her and kiss her head but she just continues to cry. He rocks her against his chest and flinches when Jongin says, "I thought you said she didn't like being comforted that way."

His voice is quiet, but Chanyeol still catches the shakiness of it. When he looks at him, Jongin's expression is clearly wounded and he's gnawing on his lower lip. He's clenching the sides of his shirt with his fists and he looks at Chanyeol like he's never seen him before. It's another fist to the stomach, that look. Chanyeol doesn't like that look at all.

"Look," Jongin says before Chanyeol can start to figure out whether he should apologize or say anything at all, "I know, okay? I know I haven't been here, that work has been kicking my ass, that you had to go through those first few weeks on your own because my schedules kept changing and I couldn't say no." Jongin swallows audibly and rubs at his eyes with a hand. "I'm sorry, Chanyeol, I really am."

Chanyeol opens his mouth to tell him it's okay, that he's sorry, too, for getting so worked up, but Jongin walks out of the room before he can. "Jongin!" he calls after him, worry prickling inside of him, but it fades away the instant Jongin pokes his head back into the room.

"I'm just gonna take a shower," Jongin says. "Can you--can you get her to finish her milk?" He laughs a little at himself, shaking his head, "Of course you can, she likes you more anyway--"

"Jongin," Chanyeol cuts across him gently, but Jongin just shakes his head again and offers him a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

"I-I'll be right back," he says finally and then disappears. Chanyeol hears him telling their puppies to stay put, and then the rush of the water as he turns on the shower.

He sighs, closing his eyes briefly as he replays what just happened in his head, feeling slowly more and more awful. "I'm terrible, aren't I?" he asks Misun who has started to relax again now that no one is yelling. "I'm sorry for making you cry, baby."

Misun just gurgles at him and Chanyeol kisses her head. He sits down on the floor and grabs the abandoned bottle of milk. There's just a little bit left, so he gently coaxes Misun to finish it up as he sits there impatiently and waits for Jongin to return.

The shower seems to run longer than usual and Chanyeol gets the sinking feeling that Jongin is trying to prolong coming back out as much as possible. Guilt climbs up his throat and he feels ready to burst with a need to apologize. He's not particularly sorry for what he said, but he definitely knows he could have been better about it. It's not Jongin's fault. Chanyeol has really been too quick to put the blame on him, without ever giving him a chance to properly talk about it.

"Do you think he'll forgive me, Misun?" Chanyeol asks his daughter, holding her up so she's peering down at him. She seems to consider his question for a moment and then one of her tiny feet socks him in the jaw. Chanyeol gapes at her as she smiles toothlessly at him, her pretty eyes curving.

A snort of laughter from behind him has Chanyeol turning around quickly as he lowers Minsun back into his arms. Jongin stands by the door, arms crossed over his chest and an amused smile tugging at the corner of his lips. His wet hair drips down and leaves tiny spots into his grey tanktop.

Chanyeol opens his mouth to say something, anything, but the words get jumbled up in his throat and nothing comes out. Jongin sighs, unfolding his arms as he walks into the room and sits down across from Chanyeol on the floor. He reaches his hands out and Chanyeol hands Misun to him, watching as the sadness he'd seen earlier in his eyes is replaced by immediate brightness, the smile on his lips widening considerably. He pets Minsun's head lightly and says, "Good girl." He glances at Chanyeol, his smile turning into a smirk. "Chanyeol-daddy deserves that kick, right? He was being a meanie."

Misun coos out little noises that Jongin clearly takes as agreement, nodding at her happily. Chanyeol can't help it, the grin that takes over his face as he watches them. This, he thinks, this is what he really loves. Just being together with Jongin and Misun, his family. This is what he's missed most over the past month. He's missed seeing Jongin with her and he's missed spending time with them both together.

He draws his gaze away from Misun and back to Jongin, takes in the lines of exhaustion in his face and the lingering unhappiness in his eyes. "Hey," he says softly, to get Jongin's attention. When he has it, he feels slightly terrified but he knows he has to say this. "I'm sorry."

Jongin's chest rises and falls with his deep exhale and he glances back down at Misun. He shrugs slightly. "I know you are," he says carefully, "but I wish you would have brought it up earlier instead of letting it boil up until...this."

Chanyeol nods solemnly, rubbing at the back of his neck. "You know I'm not the most...tactful person," Chanyeol says lightly and he's glad when Jongin chuckles at that. "But you're right. I should've talked to you about it a long time ago. To be fair though, there haven't been many chances when we've both been at home together and haven't been sleeping."

"Don't make excuses, Chanyeol," Jongin says firmly. "We could have found some time. One hour somewhere. If you'd wanted to talk to me about this, you could've told me and I would have _made_ the time."

He's right. Of course he's right. Chanyeol is an idiot. His shoulders slump as he drops his head into his hands and groans. "I'm sorry," he mutters again. "I really should have talked to you about it long ago."

"Chanyeol," Jongin says softly, coaxing, until Chanyeol is able to finally look at him through his shame. He's smiling at him which makes Chanyeol feel better almost instantly. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad. This isn't all on you, okay? What you said earlier, well. That wasn't wrong."

Misun starts to fuss a bit before Chanyeol gets the chance to speak, and he glances around the room for one of her toys to distract her. There's a little bunny plushie that Yixing bought for her peeking out from under the crib, so he grabs it and bounces it in the air toward her. She gurgles, tiny hands batting out as if to grab it and Chanyeol grins as he plays with her. When he looks at Jongin again after a moment, his expression so affectionate Chanyeol can't help but lean up and kiss him.

Jongin gasps, but then he kisses back, a little hesitant at first but soon with more fervor. Chanyeol's just glad that Jongin's not completely ignoring him for what he said, that this is still okay. They kiss softly until Misun suddenly cries and Chanyeol pulls back laughing, "What's wrong? Do you want kisses, too?"

He scoops her up and kisses her across the face until she starts to smile again. He holds her on his knee so she's facing Jongin and Jongin grins down at her, taking the bunny from Chanyeol to entertain her.

"Don't think I completely forgive you just because of those kisses," Jongin says, and he blushes as he glances up at him.

"I know," Chanyeol says. "I can't say I'm entirely over the fact that you haven't been around as much as you should, either."

Jongin nods. "I know it sucks, Chanyeol. It really sucks for me, too. Don't you think I'd much rather be here helping you with her than at work?"

"I don't know, you do like work a lot," Chanyeol says teasingly and Jongin smacks his other knee. "I'm kidding. I know you would. Is it really that hard to figure out a better schedule that doesn't have you coming home late everyday?"

"I've been working on it," Jongin says. "Please don't think I haven't."

“You haven’t mentioned anything about that.”

“I thought there would be no point in getting your hopes up,” he says, and then chuckles slightly. “Then again maybe if I _had_ told you that, you wouldn’t have felt so abandoned.”

“God, Jongin, I don’t feel _abandoned_ ,” Chanyeol says. “I’m just _tired_ and overwhelmed and fuck, I miss you.”

“Don’t swear in front of Misun!” Jongin hisses, reaching out to cover her ears and glaring at him. But then Chanyeol’s words seem to reach him, his jaw dropping slightly. “What?” he asks like he didn’t hear him correctly.

Chanyeol scratches at the side of his face a little as he drops his gaze from Jongin to Misun. "I miss you," he says simply. "You working so much is not just about how I have to take care of Misun so much on my own. It's also the fact that this is the longest we've sat and talked to each other in a month without you having to run into work or me having to take Misun over to my mom's so I'm not late--it's, it's just, I miss you. And I know Misun does, too."

"No, she doesn't," Jongin says and he sounds a little choked up.

"She does," Chanyeol says. "I know you think she likes me more, but that's not really fair. She definitely gets tired of me, and I know she likes it when you come home and feed her or put her to sleep, even if it's rare."

Jongin stares at Misun for a few moments and rubs at his nose, sniffling. Chanyeol nudges his foot with his toes.

"Don't cry," he says and Jongin flushes, pressing his palms to his cheeks.

"I'm not," he whines, shaking his head as if to make his point clearer.

Chanyeol carefully holds Misun in one arm so he can reach out and ruffle Jongin's hair. Spluttering, Jongin swats his hand away, the pink on his face deepening beautifully. Chanyeol wants to kiss him again, but he holds back because there's still something pressing at him.

"Are we okay?" he asks tentatively and Jongin drops his hands from his face to look at him, really look at him.

Then he smiles. "We will be," he says finally and all the tension leaves Chanyeol's body in a whoosh. "We should've had this conversation a long time ago, but better late than never." His smile widens and he turns slightly bashful. "And I've missed you, too."

Smirking, Chanyeol responds, "Oh, really? Care to tell me just how much?"

Jongin smacks his shoulder and climbs to his feet. "No," he says firmly even as he turns redder. He leans down and plucks Misun from his arms. "And besides, I missed her more."

With that he turns on his heel and walks out of the room, leaving Chanyeol on the floor to stare after them both. Except it’s better now, then when Jongin walked out earlier because the sick, bruised feeling in the pit of his stomach has faded away into a pleasant bubbling. Not everything has been resolved, exactly, but they understand each other so much more now. The past month may have been hell, but Chanyeol’s sure that the future will start to be brighter and that’s all that he could ask for.

-

Streams of sunlight warm on Chanyeol's face wake him up earlier than he'd like, groaning into his pillow as he tries to curl away from the brightness. Crunching his eyes tight in an attempt to cling at sleep, he rolls over and is met with a slight _oof_ , then Jongin undoubtedly smacking his arm.

"Are you awake?" Jongin asks softly, and he definitely sounds awake, which is surprising because Jongin sleeps like the head and Chanyeol's pretty sure it's too early for him to even consider being up.

"No," he grumbles back, getting a laugh from Jongin in return. "Why did you open the curtains?"

"So I could see when I took the dogs out," Jongin replies as he gently brushes Chanyeol's hair away from his face and then slings an arm around his waist. Chanyeol scoots closer to him, enjoying the solid heat of his body. "I'm sorry for waking you."

"I'm not awake," Chanyeol murmurs, even though it's becoming increasingly difficult to keep his eyes closed. Jongin just laughs again, his breath tickling along Chanyeol's neck, suddenly followed by the slight press of his lips as he kisses his way slowly along the skin. Now Chanyeol feels warm for a completely different reason, heart racing as he's pushed from the lingering claws of slumber and into the brightness of reality, into Jongin's hands winding up his back and his lips meeting his.

Chanyeol is very aware of the fact that he's just woken up and hasn't even had a chance to brush his teeth but it doesn't seem like Jongin cares, or he's just choosing to ignore it. Either way he kisses him slowly until he's gotten Chanyeol onto his back and is climbing into his lap, hands sliding up into his hair.

"Wow," Chanyeol says breathlessly when they pull apart, "good morning?"

Jongin's responding hum vibrates against his jaw. "I think so," he says, and Chanyeol can feel him grin. His fingers leave his hair and instead are slipping up under his shirt, pushing the fabric up his stomach, warm against his skin contrasting with the sudden chill from being exposed. It has him shivering involuntarily as he cups the back of Jongin's neck and draws him up to his mouth again. "I think I know how to make it even better, too," Jongin adds, his eyes bright and Chanyeol only manages a short laugh before Jongin is kissing him again.

It doesn't really take very long for Chanyeol to get worked up; they haven't done this in far too long. Taking care of a baby really gets in the way of any alone time he could want with Jongin, and it doesn't help that when they do have a moment together they're usually too tired to do anything about it. Lately those moments have just been spent watching a movie on TV or catching a few hours of sleep before Misun needs to be fed or changed or something. But right now, it's blissfully silent and Misun is still asleep and Jongin is grinding against him and Chanyeol is pretty sure this is the best way to start the day.

Except the second Chanyeol starts to tug Jongin's shirt off his head, the baby monitor screeches with Misun's wail, startling them both. With a loud groan Jongin collapses against Chanyeol's chest and Chanyeol mutters, "Maybe if we ignore it, she'll stop crying."

That only makes Jongin smack him. "She's probably hungry," he says and he glances up at Chanyeol wistfully. "Fuck, I don't want to move." He whines, presses a kiss to Chanyeol's collarbone. "I want you."

Chanyeol rubs his back and Misun's wails get louder. He winces and Jongin breathes out deeply before he pulls himself up and off the bed. "I'll go," he says, pushing his hair from his face. "You...you should shower. And your breath stinks."

"That didn't seem to bother you five minutes ago!" Chanyeol hollers after him as he walks out of the room. He can hear Jongin shushing Misun down through the monitor as he flops his head back into his pillows and laments the terrible timing. He scrubs at his face with his hands and then peels himself out of bed, shucking off his clothes on his way and jumping into the shower. Taking care of himself with a hand is so incredibly unsatisfying after feeling Jongin pressed up against him not ten minutes earlier, but he deals with it and washes up, trying not to blame his child too much for cockblocking him.

Once Chanyeol's freshened up and put on some clean clothes, he heads out into the kitchen to start on breakfast. It's only a little after eight in the morning and it's terribly tempting to just go back to sleep because this is way too early to be up on a Saturday, but Jongin is still trying to calm Misun down and he figures he can make something for Jongin to eat afterwards. And Chanyeol is pretty hungry himself, too.

Potato jumps off from the couch when he passes by and follows him to the fridge. "You hungry, too, buddy?" he asks, petting Potato's furry head. Potato barks at him and Chanyeol grins, glancing over in the corner where their dog bowls are laid out. They're partially full of water, but no treats, so Chanyeol grabs the bags of food and fills them up, calls for Jjanggu to come eat, too.

With that out of the way, he starts on his own lunch, grabbing some eggs and vegetables from the fridge and starting up the rice cooker. He's halfway through making an omelet when he hears Jongin walking into the room, feet padding softly against the floor.

"Look what Chanyeol-daddy is doing," he says in that cute little voice he uses on Misun. It has Chanyeol grinning widely ashes glances at them over his shoulder. Jongin is holding Misun up in his hands, gently bouncing her in the air toward Chanyeol until he can press Misun's grinning face to Chanyeol's cheek in a sort of a sloppy kiss.

"Good morning, Misun," he says. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes, she is," Jongin replies, sliding her back into his arms properly. "And so is Jongin-daddy." He smirks at Chanyeol who aims a kick at his ankles with a laugh.

"Jongin-daddy will just have to wait," he says, and Jongin sticks his tongue out at him.

"Your other daddy is really a meanie," Jongin sniffs to Misun, turning away and heading toward the kitchen table.

Chanyeol returns his attention to the stove so he doesn't burn up his eggs. It doesn't take much lower before he's finished with everything, turning the stove off and grabbing two plates from the cupboard. He spoons out some rice onto them and then the eggs and sets the plates onto the table.

"Thank you," Jongin says, offering him a smile, and Chanyeol ruffles his hair as he passes him back into the kitchen to get Misun's food.

"What's the one she's started to like the most?" Chanyeol asks, picking up the tiny jars one by one to check the labels.

"The carrot one, I think," Jongin replies. Chanyeol finds it toward the back, twisting off the cap and cringing at the unappetizing smell. He grabs one of Misun's cute Hello Kitty bowls with matching spoon, a present from Yura, and tips a little bit of the mush into it from the jar.

He yanks open the drawer by the sink to get him and Jongin chopsticks and then finally returns to the table to sit down with a sigh. "Come here, baby," Chanyeol says, scooping up a tiny bit of Misun's food.

Jongin turns to him with his mouth open and Chanyeol laughs, punches his shoulder lightly. "Not you," he chuckles, "unless you want mushy carrots as lunch."

Jongin scrunches up his nose and shakes his head, closing his mouth with a pout of his lips. Smiling, Chanyeol feeds Misun a tiny spoonful and then switches to chopsticks to feed Jongin, too. Jongin flushes a bit about it, but eats gratefully and Chanyeol takes a few bites himself before he feeds Misun again.

It’s a relaxing, quiet sort of morning that Chanyeol really likes. The three of them simply eating together, Jongin and Chanyeol coaxing Misun to eat as she starts to get fussy. Chanyeol continues to alternate between feeding Jongin and himself and it’s nice, like this. Chanyeol’s favorite thing in the world is spending time together with his family, and since Jongin’s workload has started to get a little lighter, the date of his group’s debut scheduled in two weeks that he hasn’t felt there was much else to help them with, the chances to enjoy mornings like this, to relax together without much worry has greatly increased.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jongin questions suddenly, pulling Chanyeol out of his thoughts with a slight shake of his head.

“No reason,” Chanyeol replies quickly, sliding out of his chair and taking their dishes to the sink. He pulls out a glass and fills it up with some water, turning back to watch as Jongin tries to burp Misun. He smiles at her as she stares at him over Jongin’s shoulder, and says, “Can you believe she’s already about four months?”

Jongin’s laugh fills up the kitchen and Chanyeol’s heart, and he turns to look at him with a wide smile on his face. “Crazy, right?”

“Time really flies,” Chanyeol says, shaking his head. He sets his glass into the sink and walks over to kiss Misun’s head. “Soon she’ll be walking and talking and--”

“And we’ll have to lock her in her room when she’s old enough to date, right?” Jongin teases, a knowing expression on his face.

Chanyeol narrows his eyes. “Yes,” he says seriously, petting Misun’s hair.

Rolling his eyes, Jongin pulls Misun up to look at her and says, “Your daddy’s a little weird, right?” She coos back at Jongin, smiling widely, and Chanyeol gasps in mock-offense as Jongin holds her close again and slips out of his chair, heading off down the hall.

“I’m not weird!” Chanyeol calls after them but he only gets Jongin’s laughter in response and a loud bark from Potato.

-

It really is crazy how fast time goes by. One day Chanyeol’s holding his baby girl in his arms for the first the, and the next, she’s picking herself from the ground and waddling across the living room. One minute he's worrying over how to change a diaper and the next Misun is turning one year old. Chanyeol doesn’t know where the last year went, but suddenly they're passing into the sticky hot July weather and Misun has grown so much. Now Chanyeol spends so much time running after an excited Misun who bolts down the hallway and giggles loudly when she accidentally smacks him in the face with a little fist. He comes home sometimes to find Misun sitting around a pile of toys and a grin on her face, with Jongin flopped out on the couch asleep, Misun's favorite bunny toy in his hand.

They plan a little party for Misun's birthday. It's a Saturday evening and their apartment is possibly the busiest it’s been in years, Chanyeol’s parents, and Jongin’s eldest sister and her family, and most of their friends filling in the empty spaces with giant presents, loud laughter and happy smiles. Chanyeol doesn’t think he’s ever felt more at home than right now, with so many of his friends and family here to celebrate with him, with Jongin grinning widely as he plops himself down onto Chanyeol’s lap after dinner, looping his hands around his neck and drawing him down into a kiss.

“Are you drunk, dear husband?” Chanyeol teases, catching the faint flush on Jongin’s cheeks and the way he’s clingier than usual.

“I _may_ have had one too many glasses of that wine my sister brought,” Jongin admits with a laugh. Chanyeol shakes his head in amusement as he rubs Jongin’s back and across the room he catches Jaehwa’s eyes and she grins at him, the same sort of smile that Jongin has. Misun is in her arms, waving a toy around in the air excitedly. Jaehwa’s younger five year old son, Jaejin, who has taken a liking to Misun, comes reeling into the room and asks his mother softly if he can play with her.

“You have to stay right here on the floor, okay? Be careful,” Jaehwa says, setting Misun down next to a few of the new toys she’d gotten. Eunji nudges Daeho from Junmyeon’s side to go join them and play and he does so tentatively, but when Jaejin hands him a small soccer ball, he lights up and accepts it.

Chanyeol watches everything with a smile slowly growing on his face. “They’re cute, aren’t they?” he asks Jongin, who has already taken out his phone and is snapping photos. He laughs when Jongin nods, spinning around to catch a shot of Chanyeol, too. He snorts when he looks at the outcome and Chanyeol reaches out for his phone to see it because Jongin’s reaction means it can’t be any good, but Jongin quickly shoves his phone back into his pocket and Chanyeol figures he probably shouldn’t stuff his hands there when they have guests over.

“We should really set up some play dates, if you want,” Eunji says excitedly. “I think Daeho would like that.”

“Misun, too,” Jongin says. “I’m pretty sure she gets tired of us all the time.”

“Don’t you mean you get tired of her?” Chanyeol’s mother laughs. Jongin opens his mouth to refute it but she points a finger at him and says shrewdly, “Don’t deny it, dear, of course you do. Maybe not of _her_ exactly, but the energy. You have to constantly watch her now or else she might end up with a coin down her throat or lipstick all over her face.”

“I don’t think we have any lipstick lying around, Mom,” Chanyeol points out, and his father chuckles next to her, frowning slightly when she shushes him.

“Then I guess when she’s older she won’t have to worry about any of those incriminating photos like you do,” his mother replies, smirking, and Jongin shifts in his lap to look at him in amusement.

“Oh, you’re going to have to show me those.”

Chanyeol feels his ears burn in embarrassment but he’s proud of the straight face he manages when he replies, “They’re gone. I burned them.”

“Or so you think,” his mother trills and Jongin leans up to kiss his panicked expression off his face. Chanyeol wraps his arms around Jongin and pulls him in closer to his chest and Jongin gives him a beautiful smile, settling back more comfortably against him. Misun climbs up to her feet and walks toward them, raising her arms up so Jongin can pick her up. She coos and pulls on Jongin's hair, a recent bad habit she's picked up but thankfully only seems to do with Jongin, and Jongin pretends to be hurt until she lets him go.

"Hey, can I hold her?" Baekhyun asks from where he's lounging on the floor next to Yixing. He looks hopefully up at Jongin who nods and holds Misun out, but the second Baekhyun gets her she pulls on his hair and cries. "Why does your daughter hate me?" he whines, pouting at her until Yixing takes Misun from him and she calms down immediately, wrapping her small arms around Yixing's neck and burying her face into his shoulder.

Chanyeol laughs at the completely distressed look on Baekhyun's face, pointing at him and slapping the armrest of the couch in his mirth until Baekhyun throws a plush toy at him and it hits Chanyeol straight in the face. That has everyone laughing as Baekhyun smirks and leans back against the side of the couch, folding his arms across his chest.

"I'm sure she'll warm up to you eventually, hyung," Jongin says, looking torn between guilt at Baekhyun's plight and amused by Misun's rejection.

"It took ages for Jaejin to like Jongin," Jaehwa says, nodding at her son.

"He still doesn't like me much," Jongin sniffs, and Chanyeol rubs his arm consolingly as he suppresses his laughter.

Jongin's attention turns to Kyungsoo, then, asking him something about a new movie that's come out and Chanyeol lets himself slowly retreat from the conversation, just enjoying the atmosphere and observing. Lu Han has practically passed out next to Minseok, who looks both exasperated by him drooling on his shoulder and particularly fond, while Chanyeol's parents are talking to Zitao; his mother has always been a bit of a fan of Zitao's commercials and photos. She's taken to pointing him out to Misun whenever she finds one in a magazine or sees his ad for sunglasses playing on television, and Jongin tends to do that, too, sometimes. Maybe that's why Misun seems to be as fond of Zitao as she is of Yixing even if Zitao is too busy to be around in person. Chanyeol's not even sure where he was recently, but after Jongin invited him to Misun's party he said he would be there no matter what.

Next to him, Eunji is chatting enthusiastically with Minah, Kyungsoo's fiancee, the two of them laughing and watching over Daeho with fond smiles. Kyungsoo has a hand on Minah's knee even though his attention is completely on Jongin, though he does give Chanyeol a slight nod when he catches his eye. Chanyeol grins back at him, settles in a little more comfortably against the couch, and Jongin shifts on his lap a bit as he rambles on about something or other. His excited voice is soothing to Chanyeol's ears and he thinks he could just sit here in complete peace for hours, with his husband in his arms and his friends, his family, all around him.

As the night dwindles down and they end the party with pieces of delicious red velvet cake that Yixing had made, everyone slowly gathers themselves up and heads home, giving a slowly tiring Misun excited congratulations. Yixing looks a bit like he doesn't want to hand Misun over when he leaves, but eventually presses a kiss to her head and gives her back to Jongin.

"Yifan is really sorry he couldn't make it," he tells them, like that wasn't the very first thing he said when he arrived.

"Don't worry about it," Chanyeol brushes off with a wave of his hand. "We weren't exactly expecting him to fly in from, where is it? Paris? He's working, it's no big deal."

Yixing smiles, showing off his dimple, and shrugs. "He just feels bad, you know how he is," he says. "I'm sure he'll come visit when he gets back."

"Tell him we appreciate it," Chanyeol says, chuckling lightly. "You, too, Yixing. With the cake, and everything. We're really lucky to have you guys, that you'd do so much for Misun and--"

"Hey, hey," Yixing laughs, putting his hands up and Chanyeol clamps his mouth shut sheepishly. "You're our friends, of course we'd be here to help you out. And, not even that, you know? We want to be here because you're our friends, because Misun is the greatest thing that's happened since Junmyeon almost fainted when Daeho was born."

"I heard that!" Junmyeon shouts from down the hall where he's been trying (and failing) to get his son to put his shoes on. Eunji has been watching him struggle with amusement.

Yixing grins and pats Chanyeol's shoulder, and reaches out to pinch Jongin's cheeks because it looks like Jongin might cry from his words. "This was fun," he says after patting Misun's head. "I'll see you guys soon, okay?"

Jongin nods eagerly and waves one of Misun's hand at Yixing as he leaves. Chanyeol makes a mental note to buy Yixing something really nice for his birthday in a few months.

"He's right, you know," Junmyeon says, joining them. Daeho trailing after with his shoes finally on, holding his mother's hand. "You don't have to thank us for things like that."

Chanyeol's throat feels a little choked up, and he only manages to strangle out a, "Thanks, hyung," which has Junmyeon grinning at him, the kind of over-smile that Kyungsoo always says is ugly.

"I'll call you sometime soon so we can set up that play date, okay?" Eunji says excitedly and Jongin nods again.

"We'd like that," he says as he crouches down to let Daeho say goodbye to Misun.

They leave soon after that, the last of their guests to go, except for Chanyeol's parents and Zitao who managed to fall asleep across the couch sometime after dessert. He's probably terribly jetlagged, so they leave him be, and Chanyeol heads off to stop his mother from cleaning their apartment up for them as Jongin goes to take Misun out of her cute party dress and into something more comfortable.

Chanyeol's just about cleaned up the remaining cake, setting pieces into a box of tupperware, when there's a knock at the door. Blinking curiously, he quickly wipes the sticky frosting that he's gotten over his hands onto a dish cloth and and heads off to answer it, stopping his mother from getting out of her chair.

He just figures it's one of their friends coming back because they forgot something. He's surprised to find Jongin's mother on the other side of the door, dressed nicely with her hair done up and a smile that falters slightly when she realizes it's not her son but Chanyeol standing before her.

"Oh, Chanyeol," she says, catching herself quickly. The smile doesn't seem quite as honest, but Chanyeol's pretty sure he's gaping at her, so he can't begrudge her for trying. He shuts his mouth and swallows, his hand tightening around the doorknob. "I-I'm sorry for coming over unexpectedly but--"

"Chanyeol? Who is it?" Jongin's voice cuts over her and Chanyeol can hear him walking up behind him. He glances at him over his shoulder, Misun in Jongin's arms, and can't quite find his voice. When Jongin just raises his brow at him questioningly, Chanyeol steps aside and Jongin looks over, and his eyes widen almost comically.

"Hi Jongin," she says, smiling genuinely now as she stares at him, then at Misun, and there's a look in her eyes there that Chanyeol's never really seen before. Something like despair, maybe guilt, and it pulls him out of his own shock.

"W-Why don't you come in?" he says, gesturing into the apartment. "All our guests have left, uh, just my parents are here and--"

"Yeah, yeah, mom, come in," Jongin says quickly, reaching out to take her wrist and pull her inside. She has a small gift bag in her other hand that Chanyeol hadn't noticed before and he licks his lips and says nothing about it. He knows Jongin had invited her, he knows that even Jaehwa had asked her to come, too, but he never really expected her to show up. Not once in the past year had she ever made the effort to come by, not to see Jongin, or her granddaughter, even though Jongin had asked her many times, and Chanyeol is not sure what made her change her mind. Chanyeol doesn't understand a lot about her, so he keeps quiet and lets Jongin introduce her to his parents. His mother looks equally as shocked as Chanyeol feels, but is quick to welcome her to sit, casting a worried look at Chanyeol who just smiles back at her in response.

"Would you like some tea? We have some cake leftover, too," Chanyeol offers and he's not sure what to do when she smiles at him and nods.

Jongin looks at him gratefully from where he's perched on the end of the couch by Zitao's feet, Misun sitting in his lap, and Chanyeol ruffles his hair as he heads to the kitchen. He hears his mother excusing herself not a minute after, and then she's helping him put on the kettle.

"It's nice, that she came, right?" she says softly, patting Chanyeol's arm.

"Of course it is," Chanyeol says.

"Then stop looking like someone died," she scolds him, tugging lightly on his ear until he laughs.

"I just never know how to act around her," he whispers, fiddling through their different flavors of tea until he finally settles on peach.

"I think she feels much the same," his mother points out and Chanyeol really hates how she's always right.

Chanyeol's mother leaves a few minutes later after making sure he's okay, and Chanyeol can hear Jongin talking excitedly his own mother about Misun, the party, everything. There's soft unfamiliar laughter in between his words that must be from his mother, and when she asks to hold Misun, Jongin is quick to comply, telling Misun calmly that this is her other grandmother who has come to see her and isn't that great?

Jongin's happiness is enough to make Chanyeol push away the unpleasant thoughts, try to unravel the angry coiling in his belly. He knows Jongin has talked to her a few times over the past year but this is the first time he's seen her a long while and even as Chanyeol hides in the kitchen and fills cups with tea and sets a piece of cake onto a dish, Jongin's happiness is practically palpable. And that's really all Chanyeol cares about, so he swallows everything else down and rejoins them with a smile on his face.

"Here you go," he says, handing Jongin's mother a cup and the cake from a small platter he set everyone on, and she takes it from him with another smile. She, too, has the same smile as Jongin. He hands his own parents a cup of tea each and asks Jongin if he wants anything, but he shakes his head and reaches out for him instead.

Chanyeol doesn't want to disrupt Zitao, so he sits on the floor beside Jongin's legs and Misun, who is back in his lap, is immediately making grabby hands toward him. He takes her with a grin, scooping her up in his arms, and grinning widely as she babbles incoherently at him. He catches Jongin's mother's eye for a second and she looks almost surprised by him before she turns back to Jongin, smile on her face.

"Can we talk a little privately?" she asks Jongin. He leans away, taken aback, but then relaxes and nods, glancing down at Chanyeol like he needs confirmation. Chanyeol just squeezes his hand and Jongin lightly kicks at his feet as he stands in response, a smile on his face as he suggests to his mother to head into the kitchen. Chanyeol's curious, but he does his best to not strain his hearing to listen, and instead uses Misun to bother the still sleeping Zitao.

It’s not that long before Jongin and his mother return, and Chanyeol is instantly worried by the way Jongin’s eyes are a little red and watery. But there’s a smile on his face, a real one, and Chanyeol has an inkling, now, what they must have talked about. It makes him smile, too, and he wants to pull him down, kiss him and ask how it went, but he knows better than to do that with his mother still around.

“I should get going,” Jongin’s mother says. She picks up the small gift bag she left by the couch and hands it to Jongin. “This is a little something for her.”

“Thanks, mom,” Jongin says and his voice is choked.

Chanyeol stands up quickly so she can say goodbye to Misun if she wants. She does, turning to her and reaching for a tiny hand, gently shaking it in a goodbye. “She is so beautiful,” she says, and she flicks her gaze up to Chanyeol, who can’t help but grin in response.

She smiles back at him and straightens, nodding toward Chanyeol's parents and telling them it was nice to meet them. Jongin walks his mother to the door and Chanyeol follows after handing Misun over to his own mother.

Chanyeol rests his hands lightly on Jongin's waist from behind and says honestly, "Thank you, for coming. It means a lot, to Jongin." He takes a deep breath and adds, "To me, too."

There's that look in her eyes that Chanyeol saw earlier, but then she smiles again and it's warm, filling up Chanyeol's chest. "I'm sure Jongin will tell you, later, but...I am sorry, for many things. I don't know how I can make that better but--"

"It's okay," Jongin interrupts quickly. "You're here, and that's what matters."

She laughs, reaching out to pat Jongin's cheek. She looks like she wants to refute him, tell him that he's being too forgiving, and Chanyeol feels the same but he also understands Jongin's easy acceptance. He gently squeezes his waist.

"More than being sorry, though," she says after a moment, and she's looking at Chanyeol again as she speaks, "I'm glad that Jongin has you. I really am. Thank you for everything you've done for him."

Chanyeol shakes his head, waves a hand in the air dismissively, even though her words make him feel a bit like a weight has lifted from his heart. It's always been easy to be a little angry at Jongin's parents, but there's also been this lingering desire of approval. He's wanted Jongin's parents to accept him the way his own have welcomed Jongin so happily into their family, he's wanted to be able to share everything important in his and Jongin's life with them the way Jongin does with Chanyeol's parents. Hearing this from Jongin's mother, no matter how long it took, no matter how much Chanyeol has tried to hate her and dismiss her, makes him feel so incredibly lighter.

"I love him," Chanyeol says once he's found his voice. "I'll always take care of him."

She smiles at him and nods, a small but important gesture of approval. Jongin gives her a long hug before she leaves and once the door shuts behind her, Jongin turns gives Chanyeol a hug, too that practically knocks him over from the force of it.

"Hey, it's okay," Chanyeol whispers gently, rubbing Jongin's back and holding the back of his head against his chest. "Everything is okay." He laughs. "Better than okay."

"I'm just really happy," Jongin mumbles into his skin. His fingers tighten into the fabric of Chanyeol's shirt, stretching slightly against his back.

"Then why are you crying?" Chanyeol teases, poking his hip.

"I'm not," Jongin says strongly, pushing himself away and scrubbing at his face. He looks at the ground but Chanyeol knows he's holding back his tears.

"Crybaby," Chanyeol laughs, tapping under his chin and Jongin swats his hand away with a half-hearted glower before he's reaching out and yanking Chanyeol back into a hug by the collar of his shirt. Chanyeol grins widely, even as Jongin's behavior starts to make him feel a little choked up, too. He threads his fingers through his husband's hair and rocks him lightly from side to side and says, "You're okay. You're okay."

-

Misun starts to babble a lot more as the months after her first birthday pass by. Yura tells him she should be talking soon, and encourages Chanyeol to talk to Misun more and more so she can start to mimic his words. Let her answer in her own language, and soon those strange baby sounds will be read words, Yura explains, and Chanyeol and Jongin take to this easily. They’ve always been good about talking to Misun in general, asking her things even when she couldn’t do anything but stare up at them. But now Chanyeol will catch Jongin playing with her and whispering things like “Can you say papa?” or “At least try saying your name. Mi. Sun. It’s not that hard.”

It always makes him smile. Well, anytime Chanyeol sees them together it’s like every worry and unhappy thought suddenly disappears. The stress of all the things he has to grade or the annoyance of forgetting to buy milk on the way home, those things just float away when he sees Jongin lying out on the floor on his stomach and helping Misun build a little tower with some blocks. Chanyeol very well thinks he can just sit around and watch them for days and not be bored.

One evening, Chanyeol is trying to get Misun to calm down after a very energetic afternoon. He pulls out one of his guitars and settles on his bed with Misun sitting in the middle among a pile of plushies and toys. She's throwing things off the bed and Chanyeol just wants her to relax a bit because he's too tired to chase after her and Jongin's not home yet, having called an hour ago to tell him he'd be late.

He hasn't really played much, not for a few years, because there hasn't been any time after Misun. But he's been in a mood lately and the guitar feels familiar and comforting in his hands as he strums a few chords. The sound gets Misun's attention easily and she's dropping a little Pororo toy to the bed to turn and stare at him. Chanyeol likes singing; he sings for Misun all the time, and it's easy to start playing a version of one of Misun's favorite kid's tunes. He sings along and Misun is smiling at him, clapping her hands together in excitement. Jongin jokes that it must be some sort of hereditary thing, and that he's glad Misun so far hasn't seemed to caught Chanyeol's tendency of weird facial expressions. She's only one, Chanyeol reminds him, but Jongin never seems to listen.

"Can you sing, too, Misun?" he asks his daughter, and she just sort of picks up a silly cooing noise as he switches into another song.

That's how Jongin finds them, about twenty minutes later, walking into the room with an amused smile on his face. Chanyeol grins at him as he continues to sing, watching as Misun, who has now curled up on her side next to Chanyeol's legs, reaches a hand out toward Jongin. He laughs, tossing his bag to the floor by the door and shrugging out of his sweatshirt. His hair is a little damp with sweat and he looks exhausted, but he crawls up onto bed next to Misun and pulls her into his arms.

Jongin kisses her head, then looks up at Chanyeol and Chanyeol wants to kiss him, too, but the last time he stopped playing, Misun started to cry so he keeps going. Jongin watches him, now, his eyes soft and unwavering, and Chanyeol, who doesn't feel embarrassed very easily, starts to get a little hot around the collar. He has to tear his gaze away eventually, looking at Misun who is squirming against Jongin's chest. She's finally calmed down it seems, the energy leaving her tiny body as her eyelids droop. Jongin is gently patting her back in time to Chanyeol's music, and his own eyes are closed when Chanyeol glances back up at him.

Chanyeol’s not surprised when, a few minutes later, he’s the only one left awake. Jongin’s breathing has evened out, tiny puffs of air making Misun’s wispy hair flutter a bit, and Misun, too, is finally out, one of her hands a little fist in Jongin’s shirt. An overwhelming warmth spreads throughout his chest as he stares at them; it’s almost too much, making his heart race and his palms a little sweaty. He’s careful not to disturb them as he gets off the bed and places his guitar in the corner by the closet. He considers joining them when Jongin murmurs something that sounds like his name and Chanyeol chuckles, heading back to the bed.

“Where are you going?” he says, sounding groggy even though he’s barely been sleeping for ten minutes.

“Going to make something to eat,” Chanyeol replies with a soft smile.

“Come here,” Jongin whines, flopping a hand out toward Chanyeol. His eyes are mostly still closed, and his aim is off, but Chanyeol takes his hand, rubs his thumb over his knuckles.

“I’m not tired,” Chanyeol says. “But I am hungry.” He pouts, even though Jongin isn’t looking at him.

“I’m hungry, too,” Jongin says and Chanyeol shakes his head, amused.

He releases Jongin’s hand to help ease Misun off his chest and onto the bed instead. He grabs his pillows that Jongin isn’t using and places them behind her to ensure she doesn’t move too far. Jongin is groaning a little as he turns onto his side, blinking his eyes open up at Chanyeol. “Sleep, baby,” Chanyeol whispers, brushing Jongin’s hair out of his face. He gets a sleepy smile from Jongin in return, and then Chanyeol leaves the room to let them rest.

-

“It’s nice that your mom gave us a day off from watching Misun,” Jongin says, grinning at Chanyeol from across the table at a small restaurant they’ve come to for dinner.

“Well, it’s not like she gave us much of a choice in the matter,” Chanyeol replies with a laugh, remembering how earlier that day his mother stopped by unannounced to pick up Misun and said that the two of them could use day for just themselves. They tried to insist it was okay, but she shushed them quickly, packed up Misun’s things and was gone before they could do anything. “But, yeah, it has been nice,” Chanyeol agrees.

And it really has been. This is the first time since Misun’s birth that he and Jongin have had a chance to just relax together, without having to worry about looking after her or anything. The first chance they’ve had to properly clean up the apartment and take care of little things they constantly put off. They took Potato and Jjanggu out for a walk, playing around with them for awhile at the park they usually frequent. Or, Chanyeol had rolled around with Potato in the layer of snow, while Jongin held Jjanggu in his lap on a bench nearby, fluffing his hair and giving him little kisses. Later, they spent time making lunch together, which is something they haven’t done in far too long, Jongin chopping up vegetables and stealing pieces when he thought Chanyeol wasn’t looking, but Chanyeol stole kisses in return, so it evened out in the end. It was definitely strange, not having Misun around the apartment, and Chanyeol isn’t so sure that he likes the feelings, but being able to spend a full day with just Jongin is something he didn’t realize he desperately needed.

“I wonder if Misun is doing okay,” Jongin says, pulling Chanyeol out of his thoughts.

He laughs, a bit, glad to see that Jongin feels the same irrepressible concern about Misun as he does and replies, “I’m sure she’s fine. You know how much she loves my mom.”

“Your mom does dote on her a lot,” Jongin agrees, smiling softly.

“She’s just glad she has a granddaughter to spoil.” Chanyeol shakes his head in amusement.

"Though really, everyone kind of spoils her," he adds, thinking about the excess gifts and attention Misun gets not only from their family, but all their friends as well.

"It's nice, right?" Jongin says around a mouthful of his kimchi jeon. Chanyeol has already finished his plate and he sneaks over to get a piece of Jongin's, popping it into his mouth before Jongin can stop him. He gets a kick under the table instead and he just grins around his chopsticks at Jongin, unfazed.

"We might have to put a stop to it at some point though," Chanyeol points out, talking around his mouthful and getting a disgusted look from Jongin. "We don't actually want her to be a spoiled kid, you know?"

Jongin hands him a napkin and Chanyeol dabs at his face. "I don't think we have to worry about that for awhile," Jongin says, "she's still a baby."

"I'm just thinking ahead, is all," Chanyeol says and Jongin assesses him for a moment, a slow smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

"You do that often, don't you?" he asks curiously. "Think about the future."

Chanyeol hums, reaches for his nearly empty glass of water and downs it. "I guess I do," he admits, pondering it over in his head and recalling all the moments he thinks about what it will be like in a few months, next year, when Misun is five and ready for school, or, worst of all, when Misun is a teenager. He chuckles to himself, setting his glass back down. "I don't know why, I can't help it."

"I think it's cute," Jongin replies, not meeting his eyes as he says it. He sucks around his chopsticks for a moment and then takes another piece of his jeon, pops it into his mouth. "What sorts of things do you think about? You never really mention it."

"Because it's pretty much everything," Chanyeol says honestly. "Mostly worrying about whether we're doing a good enough job, about how much harder it will get when she's a little older." He shrugs. When he catches Jongin's slight frown he adds placatingly, "I don't want to make a big deal out of it, so I don't bring it up. I'm not trying to keep you out of it."

"I know," Jongin says softly, and he brushes his fingers over Chanyeol's knuckles fleetingly as he reaches for his own glass of water. "I think about those things, too. Though these days I just worry over whether she can properly call us papa instead of Potato."

Chanyeol laughs, a little too loud, but Jongin grins at him widely and he feels warmth in his chest. "Yeah, that's definitely important," he says, shaking his head. He notices that Jongin's pretty much done with his meal, so he adds, "Ready to go?"

Jongin nods, pushing his plate toward the center of the table and finishing up his water as Chanyeol layers on his coat and scarf. They stop by the grocery on the way home, picking up some new jars of baby food, eggs and these packs of sweet snacks that Jongin likes. It's cold out, the February air nipping at exposed skin and freezing Chanyeol's insides. It's a relief to get back indoors, where their puppies welcome them loudly and the warmth of their apartment starts to melt the stiffness of their bones.

Chanyeol heads into the kitchen to get himself a beer and returns to find Jongin on the couch with the puppies. He reaches up and swipes Chanyeol's bottle with a grin and Chanyeol jabs him in the head, mutters, "Brat," but goes to get another anyway.

They end up snuggled together on the couch, watching one of Yifan's old movies that's playing on television. Mostly they just talk over it and laugh whenever he's on screen. It's nice, and wonderfully relaxing, to not have to worry about Misun or anything, really. Just Jongin's warmth and Jongin's stupid laughter and Jongin's low voice in his ear. Chanyeol has definitely missed this.

It doesn’t take very long before the movie starts to get a little boring and the press of Jongin’s thigh against his more appealing. The press of Jongin's toes running up his calf no longer a distraction but a focus, and Chanyeol feels a familiar spark beneath his skin. He forgets about the movie entirely as he turns his head toward Jongin, sighing deeply and nosing the crook of his neck. Jongin shifts a bit but otherwise doesn't seem too perturbed; he's used to Chanyeol being touchy and easily bored with anything they watch. But as Chanyeol slides his hand up Jongin's thigh, letting his fingers trace the inseam of his jeans, Jongin's breath hitches and his eyes dart down to his lap and then sideways.

"Oh," he says, simple as that, and Chanyeol thinks that's good enough before he takes Jongin's face in his hand and turns him the rest of the way so he can kiss him full on the mouth.

Jongin breathes out softly against his lip and returns the kiss gently, unhurried. It makes Chanyeol’s blood sing in his veins, the smooth press of his mouth, the slickness of his tongue as it peeks along the part of his lips. Hands find the collar of Chanyeol’s shirt, pulling and pulling until Chanyeol is struggling to follow Jongin down, but the loud bark from Jjanggu has them both breaking out quickly.

“Sorry, Jjanggu,” Jongin laughs, looking a little flustered as he ruffles the curls atop Jjanggu’s head. Jongin glances back at Chanyeol, biting his lower lip, and Chanyeol decides for them, swiftly turning off the television and taking Jongin’s hand.

Jongin laughs again, breathless and so fucking adorable, the sound bouncing off the walls as they rush down the hall and into the bedroom. He’s grinning wide when Chanyeol slams the door shut and crowds him up against it, sliding hands to either side of his face as Jongin’s yank on his shirt again.

Their kiss is desperate, much more rushed now as they seem to get reacquainted with each other. Raising a daughter both gets in the way of any extended alone time Chanyeol would want with Jongin, and seems to leave them too tired to do much more than hastily jerk each other off in the mornings before Misun wakes up. Having an evening together like this is really something special and Chanyeol wants to make the most of it.

He breaks away from the kiss, chuckling softly and pressing his lips to Jongin's forehead when Jongin whines and tries to pull him back. "Come here," he says, taking one of Jongin's hands in his, unwrapping his fingers from his shirt to link his own through them. He pulls him to the bed and gently pushes him down, follows slowly on his knees as he starts to unbutton his shirt.

Jongin, hair splayed across the pillows and lips stained a deep red, watches him with soft eyes and a tiny smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He reaches out his fingertips and trails them down Chanyeol's chest as Chanyeol's shirt falls open, his every slight touch sending jolts of pleasure through his body.

When Chanyeol manages to get his shirt open, Jongin helps to slide it over his shoulders and hooks his fingers into the belt loops of Chanyeol's jeans to tug him close. Chanyeol huffs out a light laugh as he settles against Jongin, resting his arms on either side of his head. Jongin curls his leg around one of Chanyeol's, brushing his foot over the back of his calf and Chanyeol sighs before closing the space between them in a short kiss.

Jongin is smiling at him when he pulls away and the deeply fond look in his eyes makes Chanyeol's heart swell. Jongin brushes the hair that's fallen into his face back and says, "I love you," so softly that Chanyeol might not have heard it if he wasn't lying so close. Instead, it rings loud and clear in his ears, fills his already bursting heart to the brim and he can't contain the burn of pleasure, of happiness that spreads out through his veins.

"I love you, too," he whispers back, and he starts to grin widely even as he presses kiss after kiss to Jongin's mouth. "I love you, I love you, I love--"

"That's enough," Jongin laughs breathlessly and wraps his arms around Chanyeol's back, kissing him again to shut him up.

And Chanyeol lets him because it doesn’t matter how many times he says it. He could say it a hundred times and Jongin would know. Jongin knows in the way he kisses him back slowly, the way he threads his fingers into his hair, the way he rests against him so comfortably, their bodies lining together like they were meant to be.

-

“Come on, we’re going to be late!” Chanyeol calls down the hall as he pulls his shoes out from the hall closet and drops them onto the floor. “Misun?”

There’s a loud shrill cry of laughter and then the adorable pitter-patter of tiny feet running down the hall. “Papa!” Misun exclaims, launching herself against Chanyeol’s legs, arms wrapping around him tightly. “Papa, look!”

Grinning, Chanyeol pries her hands off his leg and turns around to scoop her up into his arms. She’s wearing a cute blue dress and a matching blue koala bear hat that Lu Han had given her a few weeks ago. She rarely ever takes it off. He pulls playfully on one of the ears and she giggles. “Cute as always,” he tells her, kisses her nose. “Misun, Misun, how old are you today, can you show me?”

She thrusts five fingers up into the air. “This many!” she says and Chanyeol shakes his head, trying not to laugh.

“No, no,” he says, reaching out to press down three of her fingers. “You’re two, Misun.”

“Three!” she declares instead and Chanyeol sighs.

“Well, close enough,” he says and she beams at him proudly. He sets her back down and calls out, “Jongin? Are you ready?”

"Yeah, one sec," Jongin replies. "Misun spilled her juice all over my shirt, I'm just gonna change really quick."

Misun giggles at that and Chanyeol tickles her in response, his laughter adding to her adorable sounds, soon filling up the hallway with their mirth. That's how Jongin finds them a few minutes later, shaking the hair back from his face and dressed in jeans and a clean shirt with a deep v-neck. He grins at them and reaches for Misun, who eagerly jumps into his arms.

"What do you say to your daddy for spilling juice on him?" Chanyeol asks her, pushing a bit of her hair that is sticking out from under the hat back inside.

"Sorry!" she cries, and buries her face into Jongin's shoulder.

Jongin pats her back and says, "Good girl." Then he looks at Chanyeol, brows raised. "Ready to go? Do you have her bag?"

"Yeah, it's here," Chanyeol says, lifting it from the floor and swinging it over his shoulder. "Where are her shoes?"

Jongin sighs. "She refuses to wear them," he says. "I put them in her bag." He pats her back again, says, "Misun, don't you want your shoes?"

She shakes her head, burrowing further into the crook of Jongin's neck, and Chanyeol grins widely at the exasperated look on Jongin's face. She's gotten to be a bit troublesome when it comes to dressing her, always trying to do things herself and then crying when she can't. She never wants to wear shoes, and if they manage to get them on, she'll take them off after ten minutes.

Jongin looks at Chanyeol pleadingly, and Chanyeol nods, reaches out to pat Misun's furry koala head. "Misun, do you remember where we're going today?" he asks her.

That perks her up instantly, arms raising up wide as she shouts, "Zoo!"

The fond look in Jongin's eyes, the excitement in Misun's, it has Chanyeol's heart so warm. "That's right!" he says happily. "But you can't go if you don't wear shoes!" He opens up the bag to pull out her shoes, waves them in front of her. "You want to see the animals, right? So you have to put these on."

She stares at him for a long moment, then nods her head, so Chanyeol takes a foot, tickling underneath just to hear her squeal, and slips on each shoe. "Come here so daddy can put his shoes on, too," he says afterward, taking her from Jongin so he can find his Converse in the closet.

Misun squirms around in his arms until Chanyeol lets her down, and she runs around them screaming, "Zoo! Zoo! Zoo!" Chanyeol leans against the door and watches her. Two years can really pass by in the blink of an eye, he thinks. It feels like just yesterday that he can Jongin even decided they wanted a child of their own, just hours ago that they brought Misun home with them, setting her in her crib and staring at her in awe, hearts so full. And now, she's running around, laughing and crying and demanding all the silly things that two-year-olds could want. They're constantly trying to make sure she doesn't draw on the walls or pull on Potato's tail or hide in the pantry.

Two years old and she's a handful, but Chanyeol loves every single second of it. Her incessant talking (that Jongin insists must be hereditary), her beautiful eyes that are so much like his own, her shrill cries that wake him up too early in the morning. But seeing her face never fails to make him happy, so much so it's like he's overflowing with feeling. Of all the things Chanyeol expected when they decided to have a child, that sort of intense emotion is something he was never prepared for. There's just so much love, and hope and excitement inside him whenever he looks at his daughter, whenever he sees her smile or sleeping, curled up next to Jongin in their bed when he gets home from work.

And things are still difficult, getting harder everyday. Teaching her how to talk, what's right from wrong, and trying to get her potty-trained; it gets frustrating and confusing and Chanyeol lies in bed at night wondering if he and Jongin are doing a good job. But the good times, the weekend mornings when Jongin makes them breakfast and they lie in bed with Misun to eat, and the evenings when they head to the park nearby with Potato and Jjanggu and Misun screams happily as she sits in Jongin's lap on the swings. The growing number of Misun's scribbled drawings being added to the fridge, the way she tries to mimic Jongin's dance routines when he practices at home, and when she falls asleep with her head in Chanyeol's lap at the end of a long day. Those things so greatly outweigh the bad that Chanyeol could never, ever regret this. Regret the decision he and Jongin made, regret having Misun in his life. She's everything he ever wanted and so, so much more.

"Hey," Jongin whispers, leaning against him. He slides a hand down Chanyeol's arm to link their fingers together. "You okay?"

Chanyeol blinks rapidly, and there's a slight wetness in his eyes. He ducks his head and nods, rubs at his face with his free hand. "Yeah," he says, voice thick. "Sorry. I was just thinking."

Jongin's expression is soft, understanding. He probably knows exactly what Chanyeol was thinking about. He squeezes his hand. "Two, already?" he says lightly, turning to Misun. "Can you believe it?"

Chuckling, Chanyeol rests his head against Jongin's. "She's growing up so fast," he says. "I'm not prepared for this."

"Me either," Jongin admits, and he laughs when Misun plops herself on the floor and yanks off one shoe. "That's got to stop."

A grin pulls at Chanyeol's lips. "She'll get used to them. It's like your weird thing about socks."

"Socks are annoying, okay," Jongin huffs and Chanyeol appeases him by letting go of his hand and snaking his arms around Jongin's waist instead. He hugs him back to his chest and he just knows Jongin is smiling even though he can't see his face. In his arms, Jongin feels warm and comfortable and Chanyeol wants him there, forever. Close to his him, close to his heart. He turns enough to kiss Jongin's cheek wetly, laughing when Jongin groans and elbows him, and then releases him so they can finally head out. They're definitely going to be late, now.

Jongin is smiling, when Chanyeol catches his face, and he reaches a hand up to cup the back of Chanyeol's neck, leans up to kiss him firmly on the mouth. "Let's go celebrate, yeah?" he says, and Chanyeol knows he means more than just Misun's birthday. Two years of being parents, two years of making it through late nights and frustrated tears, two years of stupid arguments over who should stay home to watch her, over deciding whether or not to put her in daycare so they don't have to trouble Chanyeol's parents so much. Two years of trying to perfect themselves so they can be perfect for her, only to realize that it's impossible, really, to be the perfect parent at all. Two years of worrying over when she got her first cold, of when she almost ate a penny. But it's also been two years of Jongin calming Chanyeol down when he's wound up from a long day, combing his fingers through his hair, of Jongin waking him up in the morning with soft, sweet kisses, of Jongin remembering to keep the apartment clean because Chanyeol gets so lazy.

Two years of Jongin and Misun, and a warm, happy family that makes every single day in Chanyeol's life absolutely beautiful. 

He swallows thickly and nods. "Yeah," he says, as Jongin picks Misun up and struggles to get her shoe back on. "Let's celebrate."

 

 

_extra_

"Hi, Papa!" Misun says happily, swooping into the kitchen to give Chanyeol a quick hug and even quicker kiss to the cheek before she's running down the hall and up the stairs.

Chanyeol blinks. "What was that?" he asks Jongin, who is just coming in through the door, laughing. He dumps the car keys onto the counter and pulls his duffle bag over his shoulder. Chanyeol hears it fall to the floor with a soft thud.

"I have no idea," he says. "She's been incredibly excited about something ever since I picked her up from her ballet class. Spent the whole ride back grinning at her phone, messaging someone."

"Hmm," Chanyeol says, brows furrowing. After a moment he shrugs and goes back to making dinner, stirring the vegetables in the pan around with a wooden spoon. He's distracted once again by Jongin's hands on his hips, turning him around so he can kiss him properly. Chanyeol starts to grin into the kiss, laughing in amusement as he murmurs, "Welcome home. How was work?"

Jongin sighs. "Long," he says, and kisses Chanyeol again until a loud groan interrupts them.

"Can you guys not do that when I'm around? Or like, ever?" Misun says. Chanyeol laughs harder, pulling away to look at his daughter. She's leaning over the counter, trying to look grossed out, but the tiny quirk of her lips tells him she's mostly amused.

"You know, when you were five, you used to tell us to kiss all the time," Jongin informs her, walking over to ruffle her hair. She screeches at him, trying to fix her perfect style, pouting in the way that Chanyeol usually does. At thirteen, she looks quite a lot like Chanyeol, taller than most of her friends with pretty eyes and long black hair. She's been wanting to dye it blonde for the longest time but they won't let her, not until she's older. She barely spoke to either of them for almost a month after that. Chanyeol had always been worried about a teenaged Misun, but the reality is so much more terrible than he imagined. Well, most of it. Other than dealing with her wanting to wear makeup and buy clothes that show off too much skin, Misun is smart and beautiful and listens to (almost) everything they say.

"Can I ask you something?" Misun says, biting her lower lip, a habit she most definitely picked up from Jongin.

"Of course, Misun," Jongin says. He smiles at her before turning to the fridge to pull out something to drink.

Misun glances between them for a moment, uncertainty in her eyes, and Chanyeol's interest is terribly piqued. She's never been hesitant about things she wants. When she was six, she would ask everyday if she could have a pony. At ten, she marched up to Jongin and said she wanted to learn how to play soccer. On her twelfth birthday she said she wanted her ears pierced. Other than the pony, they've been able to give her practically whatever she wants, and they've always told her that she can ask them anything. He wonders what could be so important now that she seems so careful to ask about.

"Tell us already," Chanyeol chides, bouncing slightly on his feet in curiosity.

Misun tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and stares down at the countertop. "So, uh, there's this boy..."

Chanyeol doesn't even think, he just blurts out, "NO."

Misun snaps her head up to look at him, her eyes wide. "I didn't even finish!"

"I don't care, the answer is no!" Chanyeol exclaims.

"Daddy!" she cries, turning to Jongin who has sort of frozen in his spot by the fridge. She always goes to him when Chanyeol denies her something. Jongin has definitely become the softer one between the two of them, and he usually is able to get Chanyeol to see his way (through distractedly placed kisses and soft words whispered into his ear). But not this time. Chanyeol is resolute. Misun is not allowed to date until she'd twenty. Maybe fifty. Maybe not until he's dead. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

Jongin finally shakes himself out of his initial shock, laughing softly as he pulls out a jug of juice and shuts the refrigerator door. "Finish what you wanted to say, at least," he tells her.

Misun rushes into it without question. "There's a boy. He's in my class, he asked me to have lunch with him this Saturday," she says. "Please, please, can I go? I really like him!"

Chanyeol is going to faint. "No!" he shouts again and Misun's face falls.

"Chanyeol," Jongin says warningly. He walks over and places a hand on his shoulder to calm him down but it doesn’t really help.

"She's too young," Chanyeol insists. "You're too young!" he tells Misun, pointing the wooden spoon in his hand at her.

"I'm thirteen!"

"And that's too young!"

At his side, Jongin is snickering, covering his mouth with his hand as he watches them argue, and his amusement makes Chanyeol deflate. "What's so funny," he asks, deadpan, jabbing a finger into Jongin's side.

Jongin squirms away, laughing louder. "Nothing," he says, waving his hands in front of him. Even Misun looks slightly ashamed now, eyeing Jongin curiously like she's not sure if his amusement means he will side with her or not. Chanyeol hopes he won't. And if he does, Chanyeol is ready to fight it. Jongin smiles at Chanyeol, pats his shoulder again and then turns to their daughter. "Misun, I'll talk to your dad about this, okay?" he says calmly. Just as she starts to perk up, he adds, "But don't get your hopes up. I agree that you're too young."

Her shoulders slump and she looks like she might cry. "I'm not!" she exclaims and then turns on her heel and storms off. They hear the door to her bedroom slam shut a few seconds later.

Chanyeol sighs, shaking his head and turning back to the stove. "I really wasn't expecting this day to come so soon," he grumbles.

Jongin brushes Chanyeol's hair from his face, hooks an arm into Chanyeol's left. "Every father's nightmare," he says.

"She's definitely too young, right?" Chanyeol says, looking to Jongin, needing to hear his agreement properly so he doesn't feel like he's completely alone in this.

"Oh yeah, definitely too young," Jongin agrees and Chanyeol kisses him. "But maybe we can think of a compromise?"

"Only if the compromise is that she can date when she's thirty," Chanyeol says firmly and he yelps when Jongin punches him in the shoulder.


End file.
